The Mole: Anime Edition
Episode Five
Akito Tenkawa- Pilot/Cook:
"Nadesico"
Naru Narusegawa- College Student:
"Love Hina"
Sakura Kinomoto- Student/Shoujo
Heroine: "Cardcaptor Sakura"
Sana Kurata- Child Actress: "Child’s Toy"
Taichi Yagami- Student: "Digimon"
Tenchi Masaki- Apprentice Shrinesman: "Tenchi Muyo"
Tomoyo Daidouji- Student: "Cardcaptor Sakura"
Day Eighteen
(Straight from the "Anime Survivor" canon, Globie
appears on the beaches of Paterna de Rivera.)
Globie: Ten anime characters were sent out on a mission- work
together and complete tests which could earn them up to one
million dollars. Naturally, there’s a catch. One of the ten
is working against them, as a double agent. The Mole. In the end,
one person walks away with the money, and will be proclaimed the
Ultimate Survivor… (quickly covering it up) That, that could
be interpreted as a screw-up on my part, but with the Mole taking
out one victim at a time, including popular child actress Sana
Kurata last episode, the winner will certainly have to survive
the Mole to walk away with the money. (suddenly a bit peeved)
Okay, who wrote that on the cue cards? I want some answers!
Anyway, after sixteen days, the team has earned $315,000. The six
remaining have the chance to earn more, but will have to work
together in order to do so. But how can a group work together,
when you can’t trust anybody?
(Shot of Taichi, in front of a black screen.)
Taichi: It’s really tough. They throw a lot at you here, and
not only do you have to do everything, but you have to keep one
eye open for whoever it is that’s trying to stop you from
it. If you spend too much time concentrating on who the Mole is,
you lose challenges. But if spend too much time on the
challenges, you get executed.
(Shot of Tomoyo, in front of the screen.)
Tomoyo: Also, you spend so much time here, that you get homesick
really fast. So not only do you have to concentrate on the
challenges and discovering who the Mole is, but you also have to
deal with not being with your friends and family.
(Shot of Satoshi, in front of the screen.)
Satoshi: I miss home a lot. I wish I was back doing the things I
like doing best. This is fun and all, but I’ve got more
important things to do elsewhere.
(Shot of Hayama, in front of the screen.)
Hayama: I don’t miss home at all. I’ll admit that
having Sana around was comforting, but even with her gone, I
think I’ll still be fine. What am I missing at home
that’s so important anyway?
Assignment Eleven
(Globie is walking the streets with the six kids.)
Globie: Well, we’re here in Paterna de Rivera. This is where your next assignment begins. Your task is simple- find the hotel. You’ll have a little over six hours to do it, so we need you to divide into three groups. One is for two people who consider themselves resourceful. Another is for two that are considered smart. And the third group, and no Ruri, only two people can fit there, are for those considered stupid.
Ruri: I’m just wondering who else is considered smart.
Satoshi: Well, I know what group I’m in!
(As they fight over which groups go in what, Tenchi narrates.)
Tenchi: (VO) I don’t care if it is true, what kind of
person would volunteer for being in the stupid group?
Satoshi’s not the brightest lamp in the room, but he’s
definitely not somebody who would consider himself stupid.
Taichi: (VO) Satoshi does volunteer for a lot of stuff, it really makes you wonder about him sometimes.
(They slowly divide into groups. Tenchi smiles at Tomoyo.)
Globie: (VO) After some discussion, Tenchi and Tomoyo are paired
up as the Resourceful team.
(Shot of Ruri, glancing oddly at Hayama.)
Globie: (VO) Ruri and Hayama are on the Smart Team.
(Shot of Taichi and Satoshi. Taichi’s shaking his head, a
bit embarrassed.)
Globie: (VO) While Tai and (carefully) Satoshi have been
designated stupid.
(Shot of them all paired up.)
Globie: You will all be divided into three parties for this challenge. For you to win the challenge, and $40,000, two of the three groups must make it to the hotel. Resourceful team, you will be given a van with several items that may or may not be able to help you, depending on how you use them. There is also information to help you find the hotel. Smart team, you will be given a "smart car," with clues where you will have to use your smarts to find the destination. The car is extremely smart, so you’ll have no trouble driving it. And finally, since the Stupid team is so stupid, I’m just going to spare you the trouble and take you straight to the hotel.
Satoshi: Ha! Who’s stupid now!
(Ruri is about to open her mouth)
Satoshi: (to Ruri) Don’t answer that.
Hayama: So are they one group, or do both groups need to show up?
Globie: That's one group at the hotel. See, Hayama, you are smart! Oh, and one more thing… since a fool and his money are soon parted, we’re going to compensate for that. Smart and resourceful people please give all of your money to Satoshi and Tai.
(The other four mutter a bit and do so.)
Globie: Again, you have slightly over six hours. Good luck.
(Hayama and Ruri head over, and reach the smart car, a very small European compact. And yes, "smart car" is the actual model name.)
Hayama: Doesn’t look very smart.
Ruri: Neither do you.
(Ruri looks inside the car, and sees a cell phone, as well as a map.)
Ruri: There’s a cellular phone in here.
Hayama: Good. Order us a pizza.
(Hayama looks inside.)
Hayama: There’s also a cassette. Play it.
(Ruri pushes the cassette in.)
Globie: (VO) Greetings smart team. Since you are obviously tremendously smart and capable of handling whatever I give to you… and since Ruri’s probably with you, I’m not being sarcastic. Anyway, your first task is to go to…
Loud Announcer: (VO) (monotone) TURN TAPE OVER.
(Ruri stares at it oddly, then does so.)
Globie: (VO) Stupid Barb. Anyway, your first task is to head to Espera. Since you’re unbelievably smart you’ll find it no problem. There, you’ll have to meet with the local village idiot, who will give you further instructions on finding the hotel. Good luck.
(The tape stops. Ruri and Hayama look at each other.)
Hayama: Village idiot? You’re probably going to have a field day with this.
Ruri: With my luck, it’s probably somebody I know.
Hayama: So… do you know how to drive?
(Ruri and Hayama stare at each other.)
(Tenchi and Tomoyo arrive at the van, a white Animation Alliance company van, which is gaudily painted as such on the sides. On the back is a picture of Jay Sherman from "The Critic," with a painted "It Stinks" speech balloon. Obviously, it’s been out of commission for quite a while.)
Tomoyo: How old do you think this is?
Tenchi: My question is who’s going to drive it. I’ve never even ridden in a car before this!
(Tenchi pops open the back doors. Inside is an inflatable raft, several cabbits in cages, a bunch of other stuff in back, and most notably Yurika Misamaru, the blue-haired captain of the Nadesico… and deservingly the most frequent recipient of Ruri’s "baka" comments. She spills out into Tenchi’s arms.)
Tenchi: What the?! Who the heck are you?!
(Yurika recovers, stumbles a bit, and salutes.)
Yurika: Yurika Misamaru, captain of the Nadesico!! I’m here to drive the van to wherever you need me to! And I’ll drive it with the best of skills too! (to Tenchi) My, you’re cute!
Tenchi: Hey, look, if you’re going to…
Yurika: But no, I’m sorry! My heart’s going out to Akito, my knight in shining… where is he anyway?
Tomoyo: He was executed a while back.
Yurika: Oh. See I’ve been in there awhile and haven’t been able to keep up.
(odd silence for a couple seconds)
Tomoyo: That’s some resource.
Tenchi: Yeah… (brushing past Yurkia) What else is there?
(Over in a plain (and much newer van), Globie is driving a blindfolded Satoshi and Taichi to the hotel. In a montage, they are shown to their room, and the blindfold is taken off.)
Globie: Well, as the stupid ones, the group doesn’t trust you with your judgment. Therefore you’ll be subjected to lounging around the hotel until the others arrive.
(Satoshi and Taichi cheer.)
Globie: I thought so. Have fun!
(Shot of Satoshi and Taichi goofing off.)
Ruri: (VO) Satoshi and Taichi always seem to be teaming up
for stuff. They are always together in the group, and I
don’t know if they’re just friends, or perhaps
co-conspirators.
(Over in the Resourceful department, Tomoyo and Tenchi are sorting out all the crap they were given, including a motor scooter, roller blades, a bike, helmets, and more. Yurika is sitting on the back of the van. Tomoyo is casually looking through a series of photographs and a placard.)
Tomoyo: We need to get rid of all the stuff we won’t need.
Tenchi: Hey, what are you looking at?
Tomoyo: Photos. The card says it’s the road to the hotel in Jarez.
Tenchi: Good. Let’s get going then.
Tomoyo: We should lighten our load and get rid of stuff like the rabbits.
Tenchi: Cabbits.
Tomoyo: Whatever.
Tenchi: Do we need the roller blades?
Tomoyo: Yes. You never know.
Tenchi: You’re right… I don’t trust that van… or that woman.
Tomoyo: She looks nice enough to me.
(Shot of Yurika, who tilts her head, smiles (with ^_^ eyes), and holds out a peace sign.)
Tenchi: That’s what I’m afraid of.
(Shot of the van, puttering a bit, but heading down the road.)
(Over in Espera, Ruri and Hayama exit the smart car.)
Ruri: See, I’m a navigator, I know what I’m doing.
Hayama: Right… where’s the idiot?
Ruri: Back at the hotel.
Hayama: No… the village idiot.
Ruri: I’ll ask somebody.
(Ruri walks up to some guy.)
Ruri: ¿Donde esta el baka de villa?
(The unassuming local guy points. Ruri and Hayama go in that direction. Unfortunately, they run into the village idiot… Hikaru Amano from Nadesico. Short, with brown hair and glasses, she’s a tad hyper.)
Hikaru: Smart team?
Ruri: Baka?
Hikaru: Yep, I’m the village idiot!
Hayama: How’d you get stuck in that job?
Hikaru: Well, it’s kind of in the spirit of that whole Globie thing. I mean, this show has a whole bunch of anime characters for cameos. His thing has a whole bunch of fanfic authors as cameos. So they decided that the best person to get this cameo would be a fanfic writing anime character!! So they chose little old me! Of course, I’m one of the few fanfic writing characters in anime, but I’m sure the art will pick up again soon!
Hayama: So you’re the village idiot? I suppose Ruri’s "baka" line doesn’t do any damage to you.
Hikaru: Nope.
(Hikaru points at Ruri.)
Hikaru: Baka lose your power! Baka lose your power!
Ruri: Can we get going?
Hikaru: Oh, right. Anyway, I’m supposed to give you this.
(Hikaru hands Ruri a placard.)
Hikaru: It has a question. Each answer tells you where to go. Since you’re all so smart, and know tons about anime, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble with it!
(As Ruri reads the card, which contains the question and
choices Globie narrates, but also three locations to choose
from.)
Globie: (VO) The question is- "Where does InuYasha store the
key to his father’s lair?" Is it a) The Ancient Tree,
b) The Well, or c) His Eye.
(Ruri and Hayama stare at each other.)
Hayama: Do you know?
Hikaru: Of course I do! InuYasha is so the big thing now! Much better than that Gekiganger series.
Ruri: Okay… let’s try to figure this out.
(Resource team. Yurika is driving contently, while Tenchi and Tomoyo sit in the front seat.)
Tenchi: So Tomoyo… just out of curiosity… if you were the Mole, what would you do to sabotage this?
(Tomoyo shoots Tenchi an odd stare)
Tenchi: Hypothetically, of course.
Tomoyo: (smiling) Are you running out of ideas?
(Tenchi is taken aback.)
Tenchi: I’m not the Mole!
Tomoyo: (still smiling) Are you suggesting that I am?
(Outside shot of the car, as Tenchi and Tomoyo continue
arguing for awhile.)
(Shot of the hotel, as Satoshi and Taichi are sprawled out in two recliners, with glasses of soda in hand.)
Satoshi: Ah… ultra relax.
(Globie walks in.)
Globie: Guys, you didn’t think I was going to let you off easy, did you?
Satoshi: Yeah.
Taichi: (buying into it) We’re stupid, remember!
Globie: Right. Actually, by claiming stupidity, you were probably the smartest ones in the group. We’re going to give you guys the sabotage opportunity this time.
Satoshi: Alright!
Globie: Yeah, yeah, congratulations. But anyway, the Smart Team has been given an extremely difficult question, which depending on their answer could lead them on the right course or the wrong course. Here’s your opportunity to either double the winnings to $80,000, or help lose it all. You can call them up, and choose to either help them with the question or give them false info. If you hurt them and only the Resourcefuls show up, you get the 80 grand. But if you hurt them, and the Resourcefuls don’t arrive, you lose it all.
Satoshi: Hey, how much do we trust Tenchi and Tomoyo?
Taichi: Uh….
Globie: Before you make a decision, I’d like to point out that we only booked four rooms for you. If both teams make it, it will be you two that get to sleep outside.
Satoshi: Well, Tai, I’m up for some sabotagin’!
Taichi: (hesitant) Yeah… I guess so.
Globie: Good. I’ll punch up a link to the Turnpike. You’ll find out why when you call them.
(Over in the Smart Team, Ruri and Hayama are hunched over a map, trying to figure something out. The phone rings. Hayama answers.)
Hayama: Hello?
Taichi: (VO) Hey Hayama, I heard that you had some sort of question. Me and ‘Tosh are supposed to help you guys out.
Hayama: I thought you were stupid.
(Shot of Taichi, a bit angry.)
Taichi: Just give me the question.
(Satoshi is in front of a computer, with Globie.)
Globie: Okay, now this is an anime question, and I’m going
to direct you to the Anime Web Turnpike, which is a portal to all
the cool anime sites.
Satoshi: How much did they pay you guys to plug them?
Globie: Nothing. Actually, Barb was so desperate for permission to use the site for these purposes, she made a few strange deals.
Satoshi: Such as?
Globie: Why do you think she’s showing Outlaw Star?
(Taichi is shown writing the question down, then hangs up and walks over to Globie.)
Taichi: Got it.
Globie: Great. Ash is in position to help answer the question. Up to you to say it or not.
Taichi: Right. Satoshi?
(Satoshi is looking at the computer.)
Satoshi: What do you mean Pikachu has more shrines than me?
Taichi: He does all the work. Here’s the question...
Satoshi: Man… Team Rocket has more shrines than me! How’d that happen?!
Taichi: Just get to work.
(Satoshi reads the question.)
Satoshi: Hmm… what show is InuYasha from?
Globie: Uh… my guess would be "InuYasha."
Satoshi: Oh.
(Satoshi goes to work on the computer. Well, to the best of his ability.)
(Over in Resources, they are having problems, as the car stutters and stops. Shot of Yurika, who looks at the steering wheel.)
Yurika: It doesn’t want to go anymore. Hmm? (to van) Pretty please? No? (to Tenchi and Tomoyo) You guys work on it. I’m out of ideas. If one of you is the Mole, you can try to sabotage this too!
(Yurika gets out. Tomoyo tries starting the van, to no avail. After turning the key a few times, she gives up.)
Tomoyo: Here, you try it.
(On the computer, Satoshi is succeeding at discovering the InuYasha info. He turns to Taichi.)
Satoshi: There’s a lot of stuff here about the ancient tree, and the well seems to have importance too. I don’t see much with the eye though.
Taichi: So what is it?
Satoshi: I think it might be the well. It looks like it isn’t the tree, so why don’t we try telling them that it’s the tree.
Taichi: Okay.
(Taichi picks up phone.)
Taichi: Hayama? We’re looking it up. There’s like nothing on a key to a lair, but they talk a lot about an ancient tree, so that’s probably the best guess.
(Shot of Hayama and Ruri. Hayama hangs up.)
Hayama: He says it’s the tree. He’s not sure though.
Ruri: We’re not getting anywhere. I say we try it.
Hayama: Okay.
(Back over at the hotel. Taichi walks over to Satoshi.)
Satoshi: Wa?? Check this out, it is the eye! There’s a pearl in his eye which he can take out and… strange.
Taichi: No kidding.
Satoshi: How do you think he fits a pearl in his eye?
(Taichi looks at Satoshi stupidly)
Taichi: Well, how do all those giant monsters fit in those tiny little balls?
Satoshi: Oh… good question.
(Taichi and Satoshi look over at Globie, who’s reading some notes.)
Globie: What? Some questions are best left unanswered. Like how it’s possible for you two to be here, and yet playing a game of Survivor over in the Digital World at the same time.
(Taichi and Satoshi shrug, then go back to the computer.
Globie shuffles through the papers.)
Globie: Jeez Barb, how can anybody read these notes?? Good thing
I didn’t leave you any.
(Shot of Resource team. Tenchi is on the bicycle, while Tomoyo is on the motor scooter.)
Globie: (VO) While the smart ones get lost, the Resourceful ones ditch the van, as well as Yurika, and head out on alternate transportation.
[Shot of Smart team, arriving in the wrong town. Montage of them asking for help, to no avail. They are then back in the car, as Hayama pulls out the phone.]
Hayama: Look, Yagami, I want a definite answer this time.
(Shot of Taichi on the phone.)
Taichi: Okay, okay, Satoshi’s still looking it up. It’s not easy, InuYasha isn’t the most popular series.
Satoshi: (OS) Actually, from the looks of it, it’s really catching on.
(Taichi covers the receiver and turns to Satoshi)
Taichi: Shhh!! They don’t know that!
(Shot of Hayama, in the smart car.)
Hayama: Look, I don’t know if I trust you anymore. Put on Satoshi.
Taichi: (OS) Oh. Okay.
Satoshi: (OS, nervous) Uh, hello?
Hayama: Screw the question, don’t you guys have any idea where you are?
Satoshi: (nervous) Um, no! Not a clue.
(Shot of Satoshi, in the room, with tons of hotel memorabilia.)
Satoshi: This place looks pretty clean. Just try the, uh, well place next. Bye!
(Satoshi hangs up and throws the phone to Taichi, a bit angry.)
Satoshi: Don’t do that!
(Shot of Ruri and Hayama driving. They’re having a brief discussion.)
Satoshi: (VO) I trust Tai more than a few of the others, but when he wants to be, he can lie with the best of them. He seemed really calm lying to Hayama like that.
Hayama: (VO) I never have trusted Taichi much. I don’t know why I’m listening to him now; probably because Satoshi’s watching him. I don’t know if he’s got the guts to lie with Satoshi around, but I can’t say.
(Meanwhile, Tomoyo’s scooter has run out of gas. Tenchi is seen wooing a young farm girl and talking her into some.)
Globie: (VO) Problems for the resourceful team, as
Tomoyo’s scooter runs out of gas. Tenchi does his thing and
manages to get some more, but time is running out, and both the
Smart and Resourceful teams have quite a ways to go.
(Shot of Satoshi and Taichi.)
Satoshi: It’s getting late.
Taichi: Thinking we should help them?
Satoshi: We’d better. We don’t know where the others are.
(Hayama’s phone rings.)
Hayama: I hate talking. Such a tedious chore.
(Hayama answers the phone)
Hayama: What is it this time?
Taichi: (VO) Look, I just saw something… and I think we’re in Jarez.
Hayama: Satoshi said there wasn’t any info on your location.
Taichi: (VO) I know… but I saw a towel or something, and it says where we are.
Hayama: Hold on…
(Hayama covers the receiver)
Hayama: Now they’re saying they’re in Jarez.
Ruri: Jarez? That’s pretty far away.
Hayama: I don’t trust Taichi. Think we should just go for the well place?
Ruri: I don’t know. We’re closer to there than Jarez.
(Hayama goes back to talking to Taichi.)
Hayama: We’re going to talk it over and make a decision.
Taichi: (VO) Look, I just have this feeling it’s Jarez.
Hayama: We’ll call you back when we decide where to go.
(Shot of Taichi, as Hayama hangs up.)
Taichi: Now they aren’t sure.
Satoshi: Shoot.
(Taichi starts walking out.)
Taichi: They’ll call back. You answer it. (smiling)
Globie said they gave massages here.
(Shot of Resourceful team, as Tomoyo’s scooter runs out of gas again.)
Tenchi: Again? The mileage on that thing is really bad.
Tomoyo: But look!
(They are next to a sign that says Jarez- 5 kilometers.)
Tenchi: Hop on!
(Tomoyo hops on the back and puts her arms around Tenchi’s waist.)
Tenchi: Don’t get any ideas.
Tomoyo: Wouldn’t dream of it!
(Over at the hotel, Taichi and Satoshi are getting massages, extremely relaxed. The phone rings.)
Satoshi: Dammit.
Taichi: You get it. Ask Mini-Matt what he wants.
Satoshi: Isn’t it Chibi-Yamato?
Taichi: (relaxed) Whatever.
(Satoshi reaches over and picks up the phone.)
Satoshi: (answering, relaxed) Hello… we so stupid, how can we help?
Hayama: (VO) We’re going to keep going to the well place, okay?
Satoshi: Actually, you don’t have to. We’re getting a massage, and the lady says that we’re at the big hotel at Jarez. You don’t have much time, just take our word.
Hayama: (VO) Mm… I’ll talk with Ruri, but okay.
(Shot of Hayama as he hangs up.)
Hayama: Satoshi says it’s Jarez too. Either they’re working together, or they’re honest. What do you say?
Ruri: I don’t know. I say we try it. (to the car) Smart car? Can you take us to Jarez?
(Overhead shot as the car turns around and goes in a different
direction.)
(Shots as both the Smart and Resourceful teams gain on the
city. Tenchi eventually gets off the bike, to let Tomoyo ride
alone.)
Globie: (VO) With only three minutes left, the teams are all in
the city, but they’ll have to hustle to make it to the
hotel.
(Shot of Ruri and Hayama, in heavy traffic. Ruri’s driving very aggressively, and leaves something to be desired.)
Hayama: Maybe we should slow down. We know where we’re going, and I don’t trust your driving skills.
Ruri: We’ll be fine. The gravitational distortion field is up 200%
(Hayama looks at Ruri, then hustles to put on a seat belt.)
(Shot of Tenchi, running, while searching for the hotel. He sees it.)
Tenchi: Up there! Come on, we don’t have much time!
(Shot of outside the hotel. Globie has a watch as Satoshi and Taichi wait for the other groups.)
Globie: Thirty seconds left.
(The smart car is speeding towards the hotel. Satoshi and Taichi cheer as it brakes very suddenly and screeches to a halt. Hayama jumps out. Caption: "Mission Accomplished.")
Globie: Smart team- you made it just in time! Twenty more seconds and you’d have lost.
Taichi: Hayama, this is usually your cue to celebrate.
Hayama: I’m just lucky to be alive. No thanks to you.
Taichi: It’s a long story. We were supposed to sabotage you, and if only the other guys made it, we get double money.
Hayama: Right- that’s what they all say.
Globie: And that’s time. Resourceful team isn’t here, so you four get the four rooms.
(Satoshi and Taichi cheer even louder than before.)
(Passage of time. Three minutes later, a very tired resourceful team arrives.)
Tenchi: Sorry guys- the van broke down.
Tomoyo: You wanted to wait for a mechanic.
Tenchi: Hey, I didn’t see you try to fix the van!
Globie: Okay, enough fighting. Since Barb only booked four rooms for you guys, two of you have to sleep outside.
(Globie looks at Tenchi and Tomoyo.)
Tenchi: Aw jeez.
Hayama: Don’t worry. You can sleep in the smart car.
(Tenchi looks over at the smart car, then once again turns to Tomoyo.)
Tenchi: Don’t get any ideas!
Tomoyo: I don’t know who you’re thinking of!
(Shot of Globie, with Satoshi, Taichi, Ruri, and Hayama at
dinner. They are all having a good time in front of their meals.)
(Shot of Tenchi and Tomoyo, eating ham sandwiches in the smart car.)
Tomoyo: Tenchi, this isn’t that bad.
Tenchi: Hmm, I guess not. You know there’s only one thing I can think of that’s worse then spending a night in a cramped car with you.
Tomoyo: What’s that?
Tenchi: Spending a night in a cramped car with any other girl that comes to mind.
(Shot of Tomoyo and Tenchi trying to sleep in that thing.)
Tenchi: (VO) I never really trusted Tomoyo; she seems like one
of those quiet types that could easily make a good Mole. But at
the same time, I live with a lot of eccentric women, and Tomoyo
is much better company when you’re trying to relax. Believe
me, if I was forced to spend a night in a car with any female in
the game, it would be Tomoyo.
Tomoyo: (VO) I don’t know about Tenchi. He’s
always quick to accuse people, and it really hurts when he
directly accuses me like that. I would guess it would be a good
strategy for the Mole to try to divide the team up, and a few of
the things he did on the road are certainly suspicious.
Day Nineteen
(Shot of a van driving down the Spanish countryside.)
Globie: (VO) After that little escapade, the team now will go to
Port Santa Maria and the castle of San Marcos. There, the next
assignment is waiting for them.
Assignment Twelve
(The six and Globie stand outside the castle. Globie is
holding a series of cards.)
Globie: Okay, the next assignment is simple. We’re going to
give you a chance to be reunited with your friends and/or loved
ones. We’ve asked those six to give you the characteristic
that they consider the "most redeeming." It took a
while for a few of them to come up with one, but we worked it out
of them. I’ll read off each characteristic. Your job is to
figure out who that is referring to. In the end, we’ll put
those to the test. Each correct matching earns $5,000 for the
pot, and will result in one happy reunion for that person.
However, I will warn you now- the Animation Alliance is extremely
cheap, and have teleportation technology. Therefore if you guess
wrong, your friend doesn’t show up in the end. The AA
isn’t that nice. You guess wrong, and you miss out on your
reunion.
(Shot of the group, looking a bit apprehensive.)
Tomoyo: (VO) That is very concerning; it makes you hope that the
Mole at least has some sort of compassion. I mean, we could be
reunited with somebody we love, and the Mole could take that away
from us. We have to be very careful.
Globie: Okay… we’ll begin.
(Globie separates one card from the pack, and holds it in one hand.)
Globie: This person’s most redeeming characteristic is his or her charming smile…
(Globie accidentally lets a thumb go on the front of the card, and several more folded-up pages of info are spilled to the ground.)
Globie: …among other things.
Satoshi: Why do I get the strange feeling that it’s Tenchi?
Tenchi: (disgusted) Why do I get the strange feeling that he’s right?
(Further agreement among group)
Globie: Great. Next up- this person always remains level under pressure.
(Quite a bit of discussion here.)
Taichi: I don’t know about this one. A lot of us stay level under pressure.
Satoshi: I would either say you, or maybe Ruri or Hayama.
Tomoyo: I would have to go Hayama… or Ruri.
Tenchi: Why don’t we try Hayama. Ruri?
Ruri: Since I can’t think of any other redeeming qualities for him… sure.
Globie: Ouch. Okay, next up is a person with a great sense of determination.
Satoshi: Hey! Think that could be me?
Taichi: Sure, why not?
Globie: Okay…
Satoshi: I wonder who said that.
Globie: Yeah, that’s the other fun part- all these people complimenting you behind your back. Bit of a rush isn’t it? Anyway, the next person is somebody who never hesitates to show his or her feelings.
Hayama: Ruri.
Taichi: Ruri? Why Ruri?
Ruri: I think "baka" pretty much describes this entire cast, so that probably applies.
Tenchi: Everybody agreed?
Satoshi: Yeah. Sure.
Globie: So many idiots, so little time. Next up is somebody who never gives up to help a friend.
Taichi: (a tad cocky) Let’s see, me or Tomoyo, me or Tomoyo?
Tomoyo: Are you saying I always give up?
Taichi: (quickly normal) No! Sorry, I mean… um…
Satoshi: Tomoyo, I think Taichi wins out. There’s plenty of other stuff more redeeming than that.
Tomoyo: Okay… I guess so.
Globie: Swell. The final one is "Instead of meaningless ranting, this person always makes his or her words count when they open their mouths."
(Tenchi looks at Tomoyo, who smiles nervously.)
Tenchi: Can we switch?
Globie: Yes… you are allowed to switch if you need to.
Tomoyo: Okay… I should probably switch with Ruri or Hayama. Who do you think?
Tenchi: Well, do you stay level under pressure or not hesitate to show your feelings?
Tomoyo: Um…
Ruri: Why don’t you switch with me? I’m more likely to have the words thing.
Satoshi: Actually, Hayama fits that one too. Tomoyo, do you stay level under pressure?
Taichi: I think Tomoyo doesn’t hesitate to show feelings. How about the rest of you?
Tenchi: Yeah, that sounds okay. Tomoyo?
Tomoyo: Um, okay. Sure.
Satoshi: I still don’t know. Hayama makes his words count and Ruri’s level under pressure.
Ruri: I could stay level under pressure. Knowing the people I know, that’s probably what they picked.
Taichi: Yeah… you two probably should switch.
Tenchi: I think it should be up to Ruri and Hayama, since they’re the ones at risk of losing.
Hayama: Sounds good.
Globie: Okay. The tribe has spoken! Let’s see if you guessed right. Satoshi- come with me.
(Satoshi follows Globie into the castle. They arrive at a large doorway.)
Globie: You said that your friend and/or loved one said your most redeeming characteristic was your determination.
Satoshi: Yeah. I guess so.
Globie: I honestly didn’t think your friend and/or loved one could say anything more than "pika," but let’s find out.
(Globie opens the door, and they step inside. Not much in there.)
Globie: So who do you think said that?
Satoshi: Dunno. Knowing you guys it’s probably Kasumi, but I can’t picture her saying anything positive about me.
Globie: Knowing us, you’re right. (calling out) Kasumi? Is that what you said?
(Kasumi steps out into view and walks up to Globie.)
Kasumi: Yes, but only after being placed under a glaring spotlight for two hours!
Satoshi: You like my sense of determination?
Kasumi: Sure, why not? I couldn’t think of anything else.
(Kasumi walks out. Satoshi looks at Globie.)
Globie: I said friend and/or loved one. This is a case
of "or." Go catch up to Kasumi and have a friendly
chat. I have to go get Tenchi.
(Dissolve. Globie is with Tenchi, inside the room.)
Globie: So who could it be that said you have a charming smile?
(Tenchi stares at Globie. Globie turns away.)
Globie: (sotto) Ask a stupid question… (calling out) Aeka??
(Aeka enters the room and immediately hugs Tenchi.)
Aeka: Tenchi my love! I’m so happy to see you again after all this time!
Tenchi: Um. Hi Aeka.
Globie: For the record, Aeka somehow won a steel cage battle royal with all the other girls to get here.
Tenchi: (still in the embrace) I don’t want the details.
Globie: That's okay. From what I hear, she cheated.
(Dissolve again. This time, Globie is with Hayama.)
Globie: Okay. So after changing with Tomoyo, you make your words count.
Hayama: I suppose.
Globie: Any ideas who said it?
Hayama: Could be anybody. Sana or Tsuyoshi would be my guess.
Globie: (calling out) Sana or Tsuyoshi?
(nobody comes out. Globie turns to Hayama, who isn’t fazed in the least.)
Globie: Sorry, Hayama.
Hayama: Are you?
Globie: Not really. I don’t even know who the heck
Tsuyoshi is!
(Dissolve to show Globie, with Taichi.)
Globie: Taichi. You seemed pretty confident about you never giving up for friends. Know who said it?
Taichi: Your guess is as good as mine.
Globie: Well, my guess is… (calling out) Sora?
(Yamato steps out)
Yamato: Hey Taichi, nice seeing you…
(Sora steps out as well.)
Sora: Hey Taichi. Planning to win this one too?
(Taichi looks at Globie oddly. Globie smiles.)
Globie: That’s right… we're keeping all the fans happy! We have Sorato covered, we have Taiora covered, and of course we have...
(the three look at Globie very angrily)
Globie: …uh, the other combination. No matter which romance breaks out- we have you covered!
(The three are still a bit angry. He quickly steps out to avoid injury.)
Taichi/Sora/Yamato: (loudly, at the receding Globie) Baka!!
(Shot of Globie is with Tomoyo.)
Globie: This one was interesting. You switched with Ruri, saying that you don’t hesitate to show your feelings.
(Tomoyo laughs nervously)
Tomoyo: I guess not.
Globie: Who could have said that?
Tomoyo: My guess is somebody that doesn’t know me very well.
Globie: On the contrary… Mom?
(Tomoyo’s mother, Sonomi Daidouji enters. Tomoyo is in shock.)
Tomoyo: Mom?
Globie: They didn’t want former contestants showing up. So we got your mother.
(Tomoyo and her mother hug.)
Tomoyo: (VO) It was a little strange. That whole
"doesn’t hide feelings" was thrown at me by Tenchi
and Taichi. I’m a little surprised that it turned out right.
(Shot of Globie, and Ruri.)
Globie: And finally, Ruri is supposedly grace under fire. Let’s find out.
(Nobody steps out.)
Ruri: I’m grace under fire.
Globie: Guess not. Sorry.
(Ruri looks pretty neutral)
Globie: And I see you aren’t bothered too much by it.
Ruri: I’m just wondering who it was. Do you know?
Globie: Actually, to be honest: due to the miracle of this being a very hastily organized fanfic- no. I have no idea who you would have gotten.
(Ruri walks out, still undeterred.)
Ruri: Shame.
(Shot of Taichi introducing Yamato to Hayama. Yamato smiles.
Hayama doesn’t.)
Taichi: (VO) It’s a nice surprise. Getting to spend the
day with Sora and Yamato, and introducing them to everybody else.
(Shot of Ruri being introduced to Sonomi)
Ruri: (VO) Having to work with all these people is pretty bad,
but at least meeting their friends and family helps you get to
know them better. I won’t be adding any IQ points to any of
their scorecards, but it’s nice to see a method to the
madness.
(Shot of Satoshi and Kasumi, having a frank discussion.)
Kasumi: I say stick it out. What harm is it doing?
Satoshi: I don’t know, it just seems like a waste of time.
Kasumi: Hey, you’re due for a vacation some time. Just relax and enjoy it.
Satoshi: Yeah, but…
(Taichi walks past with Sora and Yamato. Kasumi smiles.)
Kasumi: Hold on, important matters.
(Kasumi strolls up to Taichi.)
Kasumi: (very high-pitched calling) Taichi!
(Taichi stumbles a bit. Sora and Yamato quickly have a knowing look and fall back slightly, to let Taichi deal with the embarrassment himself. Satoshi walks up to Sora and Yamato… but no further.)
Taichi: Kasumi… nice seeing you again.
Kasumi: Yeah. I know. Our last meeting was kinda cut short.
Taichi: Yeah, that… Hey that was…
Kasumi: It seemed like it was over too quickly. We never did
get down to business.
(Taichi stumbles again. Sora and Yamato try to keep from laughing. Satoshi lets a snicker escape.)
Taichi: Well, yeah, um…
Kasumi: We’ll have to do it again sometime, you know?
Taichi: I, I, uh…
(Kasumi puts a hand on Taichi’s shoulder)
Kasumi: Come on, Taichi! Still nervous?
(Taichi runs out of the picture. The four remaining immediately burst into laughter.)
Yamato: Was it me, or did he have a nosebleed?
(More laughter)
Satoshi: I didn’t know you had that in you Kasumi!
Kasumi: With you, it never comes up!
(Shot of Tenchi, with Aeka.)
Tenchi: So that’s why me and Tomoyo had to spend the night in the smart car.
Aeka: (peeved) Are you saying you spent last night sprawled out in some car with another woman!
Tenchi: Aeka! She’s like ten years old!
Aeka: No excuses! Where is this hussy??!!
(Tomoyo and her mother walk in.)
Sonomi: What did you call my daughter?
(Shot of Tomoyo, looking extremely cute and innocent. Tenchi averts his eyes.)
Tenchi: Tomoyo, every time you look cute like that, it raises my suspicions of you being the Mole.
Tomoyo: Oh. Sorry. I’ll stop.
Tenchi: Well… don’t stop if you actually are the Mole. I could use the hint.
Aeka: Oh, my Tenchi doesn’t need a hint to figure out who the Mole is. I’m sure you’ll win this game on your own with no trouble!
Tomoyo: Unless he’s the Mole.
Aeka: Tenchi would never do a thing like that!
Sonomi: How do you know?
Tomoyo: Yeah, you don’t know what Tenchi’s done so far. I think he could be.
(The four go at it for a little bit. Pan out to Ruri and Hayama, watching the action.)
Ruri: Baka baka.
Hayama: I think that we were the lucky ones.
Ruri: Very true.
Ruri: (VO) It’s a little strange. Hayama said a lot of stuff about me some time ago, but through everything, I’ve probably been drawn closer to him than anyone else in the group. He’s very quiet, and very unemotional. My kind of guy.
(Shot around the dinner table, of Satoshi, Taichi, Sora, Yamato, and Kasumi around one table eating. Taichi’s looking a bit angry.)
Satoshi: Hey Tai, what’s wrong?
Taichi: (bitter) Nothing.
Kasumi: (teasing) Want me to kiss it and make it better?
(Taichi slams the fork he was holding down the table and stands up.)
Taichi: Look, Kasumi, enough is enough! Okay, I’ll admit it, I had a crush on you before! It that something you have to rub in every chance you get!? It’s been four years since it happened, okay? I’m over it now! If you aren’t going to magically fall into my arms, I’m not going to keel over and die because of it! But I do not need you going around and bragging about it! Okay!
(Taichi sits down, still angry.)
Kasumi: Hey, it was only a few months ago for me, remember?
Satoshi: Yeah. Kasumi’s just having fun with you. As a friend, you know?
Taichi: Oh, yeah, some friend. (to Satoshi, still mad) Not like you care, for some reason you are completely unaware of the fact that this beautiful girl probably is going to magically fall into your arms one day. And you’re probably too stupid to catch her when she does.
Satoshi: Tai, Kasumi was just…
Taichi: You know, I don’t care. Best thing for me is just to completely ignore Kasumi. And while I’m at it, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to ignore you too.
Satoshi: Me?
Taichi: Yeah. We’ve been so close, and we’ve supposedly been "best friends" on this trip, but how do I know you aren’t just taking me on some ride? I don’t think I’ve once seriously suspected you as the Mole. And you’ve done plenty of stuff for it too. If it weren’t for you and Sana, I’d have been out of that mask that much sooner. And you really got on my case after I didn’t pose for Kasumi. Honestly now, are you sure you’d pose nude for her?
Satoshi: Well, I…
Taichi: I bet you’ve just been taking me for a sucker, counting the days until I finally get picked off! Well, I know better now. Okay? So just lay off!
(Taichi storms out of the room. Yamato and Sora just look shocked.)
Yamato: Let me guess- it’s our job to talk to him?
Sora: (annoyed) Yes.
Yamato: Dammit.
(Sora and Yamato stand up, a bit annoyed)
Sora: At least you were gone before this happened on the island. Wait… you were the reason this happened on the island.
(They pursue Tai, leaving just Kasumi and Satoshi.)
Satoshi: The nerve of him, saying you’re just going to "fall into my arms" one day.
Kasumi: (thoughtful) Yeah. (smiling) You said you’d pose nude for me?
Satoshi: (smiling back) Don’t start with me now.
(Shot of Tenchi taking the test, Aeka is watching him.
Tenchi’s question is "What team was the Mole on in the
‘Three Routes’ game?" Tenchi answers
"Resourceful.")
Tenchi: (VO) Tomoyo never really helped out much trying to get us
to the hotel. And as much as it sounded like I was joking, that
innocent look of hers does raise serious suspicion.
(Shot of Hayama taking the test.)
Hayama: (VO) I still say that Ruri could be hiding something,
especially after she got me to switch with her. But I also think
that Taichi’s story of sabotaging us for money is really
suspicious.
(Shot of Tomoyo taking the test, with her mother watching.)
Tomoyo: (VO) I can’t trust Tenchi now. After all that he did
to stall us from arriving at the hotel, I have to start
suspecting him for a few questions or I could be the next one
executed.
(Shot of Ruri taking the test.)
Ruri: (VO) Tenchi and Tomoyo both didn’t do their jobs, so
you have to wonder about them. But Satoshi and Taichi have always
been talking lately, so it could be that those two are plotting
something together.
(Shot of Aeka, in the hotel room.)
Aeka: I don’t think that Tenchi is the Mole, but there is a
chance. He’s capable of absolutely anything.
(Shot of Mrs. Daidouji, in the room.)
Sonomi: Tomoyo usually doesn’t keep secrets very well. If
she is the Mole, she could easily have fooled me. But still, I
suppose there’s a chance that it’s her.
(Shot of Yamato and Sora in the room.)
Sora: Sure, Taichi could be the Mole. It definitely wouldn’t
be like him to sabotage a team like this, but if he wanted to he
definitely could.
Yamato: Taichi’s capable of a lot. Sure, he could be the Mole.
(Shot of Kasumi in the room.)
Kasumi: I can’t really say that Satoshi’s capable of
being the Mole, but he’s surprised me on quite a few
occasions, so it’s not something to rule out.
(In a small sanctuary, the six contestants and the five
on-lookers are with Globie, with computer.)
Globie: You know, for a crossover, I certainly haven’t been
getting much screen time. Oh well. Anyway, tonight another one of
you six will be eliminated.
Kasumi: And once the votes are tallied the decision is final and the loser must leave the town immediately!
Globie: Yeah, sure. I can handle this Mi… Kasumi. You guys have no idea how hard it’s been making sure I don’t call Satoshi Ash. Anyway… first up I’ll type in Madison.
Tomoyo/Sonomi: Tomoyo.
Globie: Shoot. There goes my perfect game. Oh well- whatever!
(Globie types "TOMOYO" into the computer. It processes for a second, shot of Tomoyo and her mom.)
(It flashes green.)
Globie: Next up is Tenchi.
(Globie types "TENCHI" into the computer. It processes for a second, shot of Tenchi and Aeka.)
(It flashes green.)
Globie: Ruri.
(Globie types "RURI" into the computer. It processes for a second, shot of Ruri.)
(It flashes green.)
Globie: Taichi.
(Globie types "TAICHI" into the computer. It processes, shot of Taichi, not concerned, but instead glancing over at Kasumi sadly.)
(It flashes green.)
Globie: Two left. Eenie, meeney, miney…
(Globie types "ASH" into the computer. It processes, then shot of the screen, as it displays a "404: File Not Found" error message.)
Globie: Whoops.
Hayama: Now we know why Barb doesn’t let Manny run the computer.
(Globie types "SATOSHI" into the computer. As it processes, shot of Satoshi, still looking a bit miffed at Taichi’s remarks.)
(It flashes red.)
Globie: Satoshi?
(Satoshi is suddenly saddened, then shakes his head and walks up to Globie without saying anything to the others.)
Globie: Well- there goes my prediction.
Satoshi: Yeah. I guess I have problems getting past that episode five hump.
Globie: Yeah… (thoughtfully) I’ll have to remember that two weeks from now.
Satoshi: Wha?
Globie: Never mind.
(Shot of Taichi as he looks shocked at the developments. He quickly leans over to Kasumi.)
Taichi: Hey, Kasumi, I’m really sorry about all that stuff I said. It’s just that…
Globie: Kasumi?
(Kasumi sadly stands up and walks with Globie and Satoshi,
leaving Taichi just feeling empty. The three head for the van.)
Tenchi: (VO) Satoshi always gave his all. He wanted the team
to win, and went all out to do so.
Tomoyo: (VO) He was easily one of the top members of this team. He fought hard to win, and didn’t like losing. You have to respect that.
(Kasumi and Satoshi get in the van. Globie heads into the
drivers seat, and the car begins to drive off.)
Satoshi: (VO) I don’t know, it felt like I contributed a
lot to this team. I’d like to think that if it wasn’t
for me, we wouldn’t have won at least a couple of those
challenges. It’s a bit disappointing I didn’t win, but
I’m not too sad to leave. It was getting really strenuous,
and it was getting to the point where I couldn’t trust
anybody else on the team. Sad I know, but that’s the way the
game is played, and whoever the Mole is, I’ll congratulate
him for removing another person.
(The guest host, as well as the Mole’s fifth victim, drive off into the Spanish night.)
End Episode Five