Disclaimer: All the authors and readers that appear in this side story own themselves.  Original characters that appear belong to their respective creators.  And all anime characters that appear belong to their respective series, companies, and creators as well.  Any nods and references mentioned over the course of this document belong to their original sources.

Author's Notes: We're on our way to the Swiss-Italian border!  Wonder what new insanity awaits us in another country... *shrugs* Oh well!  Enjoy another Side Story, and rest assured, there will be plenty of cameos in here.  Thanks in advance to Mercurius, Thinker, Becker Wein, Vince (and the Tokomons), Catgirl Kuriko, Yamano Megami, Coyote, and Boosh!

The Mole 2: AE - Side Story 4

Jim talked on the cell phone with Tom, trying to get him to organize and send a crew and some resources his way.

"Sorry Jim, we can't work that fast!" cried Tom.  "The only thing we can do at the moment is quickly book a hotel for you and your friends to spend the night.  It's all on the company's tab, or namely Mr. Marco's, but he wouldn't mind."  There was a pause.  "How would you feel sharing a room with Star Otaku?"

"Tom!  Do not even jest!  Please!" exclaimed Jim, holding a hand to his heart.

"All right, all right.  I just made the reservations.  Here's the address, it's the best I could do on such short notice."

He thanked his coworker and then turned off the cell phone.  He heard a sudden wail and ducked as a male body flew overhead.  From what he assumed, it could've been Star's handiwork... but as he got closer, he saw Naru standing at the entrance with her hands on her hips and an indignant look on her face.

It be best he break the good news to everyone now...

===

After picking up Keitaro only a few hours ago, it was hard to go on with so many people stuck inside, so when Jim announced that they were to spend the night at a hotel, it was a godsend.

Everyone got comfortable in one room, seeing as how their rooms were all lined up along the same hall.  It was in one room that they congregated together and made their plans.

Sitting at a table and pair of chairs arrangement by the window, Jim had wrapped up his interview with Tomoyo, after he had borrowed her camcorder since the crew had failed to show up in St. Moritz.

"Thanks Miss Daidouji," said Jim with a curt nod as he accepted the interview tape from her.

Tomoyo smiled cutely.  "Anytime!  I sure wouldn't want anything happen to that interview..." she started with a hint of a mock threat.

The two shared and chuckle, and then Jim joined the four authors who sat all together on a bed, making their plans.

Shinju looked over and she blinked a few times.  "Star-san, who are we gonna call this time?"

"I'm open to any suggestions," she replied back while trying to stifle a yawn.

Adam looked over at the petite authoress.  "If you continue to slack off like that, you're gonna grow worse than Kistune."

"I'm already hard at work!  My mind's working at a faster rate... my body just won't show it," Star shot back... as best as she could.  "Well, I'll give our next few checkpoint contacts the heads up to meet us at the border."

Mei leaned into the conversation.  "Checkpoint contacts?"

"That's the name I'm gonna give people we call up to meet us in at the rest stops or cities we're gonna go through.  They'll give us food or information."

"Preferably both," quipped Shinju.

"So, do you know where the next stop is?" Jim asked them, deciding that this was the moment to step in.

Mei nodded and pointed at the place on the map.  "We'll be stopping at the Swiss Ital border." 

With that information, he took his cell phone, ready to make a private call to HQ to have a crew pick him up from there.  He hoped that they would show up this time.

"Thanks Sam.  Make sure they actually show up!  Resources were a little tied up?  Fine, fine.  Just... don't disappoint me here.  Okay, I'll see you, Tom, and Mr. Marco soon.  Bye."

As he hung up, the male Chosen adults approached him.

"Hey Jim!  We're going down to the bar below for a few drinks, care to join us?" asked Taichi.

Koushiro nodded.  "We finally get a chance to get away from our hectic jobs-"

"Nagging wives..." added Yamato.

"Yes, nagging wives, and the hassles of life."

"Why me?  Don't you Digidestined have some kind of little reunion going on?" asked Jim.

"It'll be fun to have someone new around!  Besides, you know these authors a lot better than we do, so maybe you can give us an idea of what to expect," responded Yama.

He thought about it for a second.  Interview wrapped up, so his work was done, plus, it would most probably be a rough ride tomorrow, and by the time he got to his room, the dread Star would be fast asleep!  Maybe *one* nightcap wouldn't hurt after all...

"Count me in!"

===

The trip to Italy was becoming more and aggravating as they came closer to the border, and trying to sleep away the trip in the wee hours of the morning wasn't good enough to keep everyone afloat.  Even with frayed patiences, waiting until someone was comically beaten up was out of the question.  It ruined the interior, plus, the entertainment got old after the first ten times.

"Miss Nabiki, are we there yet?" asked Takato shyly.

"No.  Now, I've gotta drive."

Ruri decided to speak up now.  "Well, what did Mr. Edwards tell you about the travel plans?  Are we going around the world or not?"

She took her eyes off the road for a minute to tell the girl.  "It's a fluke.  He changed his mind as soon as I got there, so we're stuck with our original plans.  As if traveling across two European countries isn't stressful enough."

"Tree!" cried Tomoyo as she popped up from behind the driver's seat.  She pointed out ahead.

Surprised, Nabiki grabbed the steering wheel and swerved them to safety.  When the motor home finished doing a donut along the fortunately wide road, everyone picked themselves up off their contorted positions.

"I... I need someone to take over for me," Nabiki said while rubbing her temples.

Doing the gentlemanly thing, Keitaro offered to do so, as did the other adult males.  With the exception of Akito.

"I'm... I'm not used to this twentieth century transportation.  If I can pilot a starship or this... motor home, it makes no difference.  I think I'd rather just be the cook," he said with fatigue.

Agreeing, the driving shifts were quickly being implemented.

===

Mercurius, Cuprum, and Aurum were sitting around at the border, waiting for their contacts to arrive.

Just pulling up lawn chairs on the side of the road, the three sat down and treated themselves to a picnic.  Merc brought out the Doritos while Cuprum brought out the salsa.  Aurum just looked at her male counterparts and gave a look of disgust.

The boys were quite amused at stuffing their faces with chips and dip and Aurum immersed herself in an intellectual book.

Merc started playing with an artificial cheese dusted triangle, making it swim like a fin in the air while singing the Jaws theme.  "Duh-dun... duh-dun... duh-dun-duh-dun-duh-dun.  Salsa shark."

Cuprum held up another chip, but hovering flat over the salsa.  "We're gonna need a bigger boat!"

Aurum rolled her eyes.  "Do you two have any idea about what kinds of chemicals they put in those things?"

The two shrugged and went on lounging.  Off in the distance, they spotted a blob of a vehicle coming towards them in the morning light.

===

The needle on the speedometer remained steady at 120 mph.  The wind whistled through his hair and the engine made that beautiful purr as his new Porsche tore down the Autobahn.  Just another day in the life of restaurant tycoon Daisuke Motomiya.

"This is the life, ain't it V?"

His passenger, V-Mon, was not so thrilled.  "Are you sure you can't let me drive?"

"Sorry buddy, but you failed your driver's test.  I told you ya gotta practice that parallel parking."

"I suppose running into that stop sign didn't impress the examiner either, huh?"  V-Mon occupied himself by fiddling around with Daisuke's D3.  "Hey Daisuke, this thing's picking up other digivices."

"Sure it is, there's chosen all over the world and..."

"No, no, I mean like Ken and Taichi and Yamato and Koushiro.  Looks like they're in Italy."

"Italy?  Hey, I always wanted an excuse to go to Italy!  Sounds like a plan to me!"

"Let's do it!"

Without a care in the world (including their own safety), they sped off the highway and headed south.

===

"Star-san, who is the contact at the border anyway?" asked Shinju, reclining in a much more hospitable area of the motor home.

"The Metallic Trio are meeting us.  They should have our next location... and an unpleasant trick up their collective sleeve for me.  I still don't think Merc's gotten over that whole Duo thing during last season..."

"Shhhhh!  I thought it was agreed that we weren't mentioning that!  Again!"  Covering Star's mouth, Shinju's eyes darted from side to side.

"Ok, ok, here's the border."  With a small sigh, Taichi pulled over.

Adam, Shinju, Mei, and the rest of the anime characters got out.  Star reluctantly followed suit.  They all found the Metallic Trio just lounging in the lawn chairs, chewing on chips.

"Mmm... Doritos..." sighed Merc and Cuprum.

"Will you two focus on the task at hand?!  We're supposed to be waiting for..." Aurum looked up and turned to a confused Arp, Star and Shinju, "...the guys.  Heh-heh."

"Just taking a Dorito break!"  Cuprum gestured at latest character kicked out.  "Poor dolt... didn't even see it coming, the sap. If I were on that show..."

Merc cut in before his brown haired counterpart got himself into trouble.  "Actually, Star, we were thinking of a little celebration before we leave Switzerland."  He took her by the hand away from Arp and Shinju, to a small clearing.  "Now, stand still!  One!"

A large plank popped up behind Star.

Aurum walked up and smiled a small wicked smile.  "Two."

Star was chained to the board as Cuprum walked up and yelled, "Three!"

A dressing screen fell in front of Star, as Cuprum took out a remote control.

Mercurius walked up in front of the screen, as muted angry growls were heard from behind it.  "Now, what are the Swiss famous for I ask you?  The Swiss Alps!  And what are the Alps famous for?  Busty bar maids in lederhosen!  And so we present to you..."  He stepped away from the screen as it is pulled up revealing... "Busty bar maid Star!"

She had on a garish blonde braided wig and was dressed in short green shorts and suspenders with a white blouse, that was bulging with enormous prosthetic breasts.  In each hand, she held two large beer mugs and didn't look at all pleased.

"And now, for the coup de grace!  Cuprum, cue the twitching!"

With a flick of the switch, Star's large prosthetic breasts started twitching ever so slightly.  The Metallic Trio burst into a collective fit of hysterical laughter.

"To hand crafted beers made in local breweries..." the Metallic Trio sang while swinging their index fingers back and forth like the Metronome attack.

Hearing the commotion, most of the group congregated around the clearing to see what was going.  They all saw the get-up Star was in, and the wiggling protrusions in her shirt.  They all broke out into fits of giggles while Tomoyo captured the moment on her camera, which was conveniently with her.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeerc!!!"  With a snarl of animalistic rage Star broke the chains that bound her and dumped the beer on Aurum and Cuprum's heads, causing the remote control to short circuit.  Star's breasts began to vibrate uncontrollably and then broke into spastic convulsions.

From behind the discarded wooden plank, Merc yelled, "Look what you’ve done now!  They've gone insane!"

"BAKA NO HENTAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!" growled Star as she reached into her shirt to be rid of the insulting implant.  And with a mighty throw, she hurled one of the offending monstrosities, planting it square between Merc's eyes.

Due to it's suction cup nature, it clinged to his forehead.  "AACK!!!  DEMON BREAST!!!" and with a yelp of fear, he fell to the ground trying to remove the offensive article, just missing the second breast.

Adam was just taking a breather when he heard the ruckus.  He turned around to face the clearing.  "What's the commotion going on there?"

The twitching packet of silicon and metal flew over Merc and landed on Arp's cheek, where the silicon slid and the kinetic insert spasmed on his face.

Feeling the sudden movement and being taken by surprise, he shook his head furiously and ran around.  "Ah!  Get it off!  Get it off!"

Tomoyo continued to capture the hilarity of it all.

Star walked over to the rest, trying to regain control.  She growled as she took off the stupid wig and threw it down to the ground.  "Shinju... take a note.  I'm throwing them off the Leaning Tower of Pisa..."

"Oi!  You don't wanna do that, Merc's our friend!  Just get him back in a similar fashion."

Chuckling and trying to catch his breath, Jim Slica approached the humiliated authoress.  He was a bit cautious, hoping she wouldn't take out her frustration on him.  He gained his composure and politely cleared his throat.  "Star, that... that was a funny trick they pulled.  No offense."  Trying to make her feel better, he smiled.  "Besides, you look cute in that get-up."

Her downcast face moved up.  Jim expected a small smile, but instead saw an incensed frown on her face.

"Cute?!  Cute?!  This humiliating and degrading gaudy costume is *cute*?!"  The anger was quickly washed away with the small smile he initially expected.  "Well, thanks for making me feel a little bit better.  If you don't mind Mr. Slica, I've gotta get changed."

With that, she turned on her heel and headed for the motor home, humming a tune.

Jim stood there for a second.  And then he fainted.

Tenchi then walked over, picked up the fallen man, and tried to shake him awake.  "Mr. Slica!  There are some people that just arrived here to pick you up!"

A bit dazed and semi conscious, he nodded and mumbled a thanks to the boy before stumbling off towards the direction Tenchi pointed at.

Instead of a standard crew, there was a pair of camera drones, plus a lighting drone, and a single man.  "Sorry, Mr. Slica, this is all we could mobilize within twelve hours.  With the show being so close to air and all."

Jim regarded the man.  "That's alright, Sam.  I got the interview anyway.  Tomoyo let me use her camcorder and gave me one of her spare tapes."

Sam then smiled.  "Good.  This allows us to actually take an evening's rest before we run the show.  Let's get going."

"Alright, Sam."

He then gave a curt nod to the remaining two authoresses Mei and Shinju, then another to the anime characters gathered.  He shook hands with Hamaya and Ruri for being fellow sensible people who had to live through this crazy caravan.  He also shared a handshake of camaraderie with the older Chosen for the round of drinks they had last night.

"Well, guys," started the co-host, "it's been an experience, actually seeing you guys work.  Or... something.  Anyway, thanks for the interview Tomoyo, as well as the ride, Mr. Pulver.  Well, I'll see you at any author gatherings, and you'll see me on TV in a couple of days!" Jim said as he walked off.

"Uh... we don't have a satellite receiver," said the blonde-haired Mole author, "so we can't get your signal."

Walking behind his crew, Jim suddenly tripped.

===

"Uh huh... goody.  That's fine... see ya."  Taichi hung up and tossed the cell phone back to Nabiki.

"So which one of your friends is coming this time?"  Nabiki was less than enthused.  The trailer was crowded enough, and with executed players arriving every few days, it was going to get worse without Taichi's friends.

"Daisuke.  He was trying out his new Porsche on the Autobahn and decided to drop by."

Nabiki's eyes instantly lit up.  "Did you say Porsche?"

"Yeah... he's..."

"My kind of guy!  When's he coming?"

"Couple hours."

Nabiki steepled her fingers together.  "Excellent."

===

"Well, is he here yet?  If he's in a Porsche he can't be driving that slow."  Nabiki was eager for Daisuke to arrive.  If he was as rich and as stupid as Taichi said, it would be very profitable for the middle Tendo daughter to hang around him.

"What the?"  Taichi couldn't believe what was approaching.  He had assumed it was just going to be a personal visit.  But no... Daisuke had to do things *his* way.

"COME GET YOUR RAMEN!!!" Daisuke dragged the noodle cart in, and proceeded to immediately open up shop.

"Ramen?" Sana asked as he set everything up.

"That's right little lady, ramen in all shapes and sizes... you hungry?"

"RAMEN!  RAMEN!  RAMEN!  RAMEN!  RAMEN!"  Sana was incredibly excited.  Most of the food intake had consisted of whatever they could find at rest areas and gas stations.  A good bowl of ramen sounded really good to Sana, and she ordered one immediately.  Her screaming had also attracted a great deal of attention from the rest of the group.

"What's this about ramen?" Keitaro asked.

"Who cares, I'm starving!" Ranma answered as he, as well as many others, got in line to order some good old-fashioned Japanese take-out.

Taichi shook his head.  "Unbelievable.  He came all this way just to improve business."

"That is unbelievable," Nabiki added.  "Unbelievable that I didn't think of that first!"

===

Nabiki was getting quite annoyed at all the business Daisuke was getting.  There had to be a way for her to cash in on it.

"Hey there?  Who's your friend?" Daisuke asked Sakura with a grin.

"Oh, this is Tomoyomon, what do you think it would like?" Sakura asked as Togepi chirped merrily.

"Hey V-Mon?  You're a Digimon, help me out?"

V-Mon looked up at the counter at Tomoyomon.  "Hmm... ain't never seen this Digimon before.  What's the D3 say?"

Daisuke pulled out his D3 and got some stats on Tomoyomon.  "Hmm... I've never heard of an attack called metronome before.  Doesn't sound like something a little guy like that would use."

"Oh, well it can share with me."  Sakura received her bowl, paid Daisuke, and walked off as Satoshi walked up to the counter, having heard the exchange.

"Wait a second... there's a listing for Tomoy... er Togepi in there?"

"Yep.  Just entered it ten minutes ago!"  Koushiro responded from behind Satoshi.

Satoshi looked over at Sakura feeding Togepi.  Togepi seemed quite content slurping up noodles.

"Togepriii!!"

"Yeah, tastes great, doesn't it Tomoyomon?"

As Satoshi walked off, Nabiki walked up to Daisuke.

"Mr. Motomiya.  I'm Nabiki Tendo and I'm in charge of this group.  We have set specific regulations on dining establishments.  We eat where I tell them to eat.  And I haven't told this group that it was okay to eat here."

"Hey, it's a free country, isn't it?" Daisuke responded.

"Even so, you will have to pay a fee if you wish to keep serving this group.  If not, I'm afraid I'll have to take severe action."

"Really?  Like what?"

"Um... er... well... for starters..." Nabiki didn't expect Daisuke to call her bluff.

"Dude, you just made this up, didn't you?"

"Shoot!"  Nabiki stormed off.

Daisuke smiled and prepared to serve the next customer.

===

Having just closed up shop for the day, Daisuke was plenty happy with the income made.  Nabiki was less than thrilled, especially when he strutted past her with Taichi and Yamato.

"Wow... because of today, our stocks are going straight up and Ramen, Ramen, Come Get Your Ramen is ensured to be around two hundred years from now!  And tomorrow's looking even brighter!" Daisuke said to Taichi and Yamato.

Taichi nodded in agreement.  Yamato seemed confused though.

"Wait a second... how does this ensure that you'll still be in business two hundred years from now?"

"I just talked to that Tenkawa guy- he wants to open up a franchise on Mars!  Can you imagine that- one of my stores on Mars!  Amazing!"

"Give me a break..."  Yamato was almost in tears.

Nabiki was fed up.  She was going to have to put an end to this.  Without competition, Daisuke was going to rule everything.  She knew what she had to do.  She had to fight dirty.  She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number...

"Neko Hanten, how can we help you?"  An old haggered voice answered the phone.

"Hi Cologne... can I speak to Shampoo?  I have a business proposal that could be very... profitable for the both of us."  A smile crept on Nabiki's face.

The ramen war was just getting started.

===

With Davis following after them to provide the ramen as their source of food, mostly everyone was happy.

The Digidestined men had another fellow to talk to, and some space could be cleared out since some passengers could ride with Daisuke in his Porsche!

Nabiki walked to the back of the RV and looked out the window to see Mei, Shinju, Yama, Taichi, and Koushiro living it up with Daisuke and V-mon in the fast car.

She frowned.

"Whee!  This is so much fun, don't you think so Shinju?" squealed Mei.

Shinju stuck her head out the window and let the wind whip her long hair around.  "Oh yeah!  This speed is pretty kick ass!  Now, if I could get this fast on my board!"

"Woah!  Dai!  Slow down!" cried Koushiro as he gripped the dashboard.  One could see his knuckles turn white.

"Aw... relax!" said Daisuke as his foot pressed a little more on the gas.  "We're just gonna go and pick up Ken.  My digivice picked up his signal up in the area.  As well as yours!"

"Woo-hoo!" cried Mei a little too loudly.

Taichi looked back at her strangely.  "Um... you're not sticking your head out the window, Mei," observed Taichi.

"I'm just so happy that Daisuke wants to find Ken!"  She squeed yet again.  "Daiken!  Daiken!  Daiken!"

"But he's married!  Just like I'm married and Yamato's married!"

But Mei was too far into her own designs.  "I wonder if I can get my hands on that romantic tension meter thingy..."

The Ishida male took out his D3 and got a fix on Ken.  What he saw would quiet the fangirl.  "Well, he's on the move.  Back home.  To his loving wife.  And obedient genius children.  Who he's living *happily* ever after with.  Lucky bastard."

The two vehicles of different size and mass proceeded to race down the road towards their destination, filled with that strange array of characters and authors for passengers.

===

Miaka trudged out of the van towards the RV parked a distance from her.  Without really caring, the van just sped off into the night to leave her behind.

The door opened, and she saw her fellow players again.  Takato, Ranma, and Keitaro.

Keitaro knew when a female was in distress and immediately said, "Welcome Miaka.  Is there anything you want to talk about?"

The priestess glumly shook her head.

Ranma tried to be nice to the poor girl.  "Uh... we have some ramen with us, if you're hungry."

"No... I can't possibly eat after what happened."

Resigned that she was taking the execution hard, the three males turned and were ready to retreat into the RV when they heard:

"On second thought, does that have teriyaki on it?!"

===

Remembering Jim's word about a satellite dish, the next day, when the crazy caravan reached a rest stop, some of the group had chased Koushiro to the top of the RV to see if he could install one.

"Koushiro!  Is that dish on there yet?" asked Tenchi.

The red headed man looked down on them and frowned.  "Well... for one, I don't have a satellite dish with me!  And two, I'm a digimon researcher, not the cable guy!"  He thought for a moment.  "Ruri's much more of a technical genius than I am!  Get her up here!"

All eyes turned to the Sasami-pigtailed girl.  She smiled cutely for them.

"But she's too cute to be chased up there!" cried Tomoyo.

Sakura and Ruri couldn't help but send her a strange look.

Trying to keep the peace, the trio of female authoresses spoke up.

"Calm down everyone!" cried Mei.

Star held up her DP3, the one which was being used to contact their checkpoint contacts.  "This thing has a receiver, so I'm sure if we hook it up, we can get the Quad-R report."

Shinju moved her arms up and down, indicating everyone to calm down.  "Yeah!  So problem solved!  Now, if all of you don't mind, I'm hungry!  Who's up for some ramen?"

Ever the business man, Daisuke was quick to the alert of hungry customers.  "Maybe I can help out!"

"Daisuke!  Daisuke!  We have a problem!" yelled V-Mon from a distance.

Daisuke went up to V-Mon, who was manning the cart in his absence.  "What's that?"

"HER!"  V-Mon pointed over at Miaka, drowning her troubles in a bowl of ramen... or six.

Daisuke freaked.  If this girl didn't have the money to pay up, his profit margin would suffer.  "Hey, hey!  This stuff isn't free you know?"

Miaka looked up from her bowl.  "But... but but but..."

"You do have money to pay for this, don't ya?"

"Um... well, the thing is, um well I didn't bring much money mister and um..."

Daisuke was about ready to kill whoever this girl was.  But there was something about her that just made him want to forgive her.  Oh yeah... "Aw, how can I get mad at someone with such a cute voice?  V-Mon!  Start a tab!"  Daisuke turned back to Miaka, "Your boyfriend can cover it when he gets executed... or wins."

Miaka smiled.

"Or afterwards if he's the Mole!" V-Mon chimed in.

Miaka started to sniffle...

"Five more bowls!"

"Comin' right up!"

===

It was an unseasonably warm day in Venice.  Akane Tendo was admiring the sights the old city had to offer out the window.  They passed over a bridge and caught a glimpse at the waterways below.  A man was rowing his gondola ahead while two young lovers sitting side by side shared a tender kiss.  She sighed at the sight.

Then her eye caught something else, just parting the water as it broke the tiny waves.  Then, as quickly as it had appeared, it sank below the dark waters again and was gone.

She turned to the guy sitting next to her, and asked, "Hey, uh... uh..."

"Haitani."

"Right.  Did you see anything... funny in the water?"

He looked puzzled, as if he didn't understand the question.

"Never mind," she told him dismissively.  Still, she thought to herself, that looked just like... but it couldn't have been!  Why would there be a periscope in Venice waterways?

===

Two Venetians were sitting in their boat, enjoying a nice lunch and enjoying the stillness of the area.  'Hey," one asked (in Italian), "did you hear about that weird contest that's going on in the area."

"No," the other replied, oblivious to the small dish shaped listening device that emerged from the water alongside their boat.  "What's it about?"

"I'm not sure.  Something about anime characters."

At the word "anime," distinct among the Italian words, the water began to churn and bubble.  The two confused Italian men looked around frantically, wondering if this was an earthquake or a school of fish or something similar.  Then, they were jostled about in their little boat as it was suddenly lifted from the water, into the air.  When all became still again, they found themselves resting precariously on an immense nuclear submarine.

Too bewildered to say anything more, they turned their heads as the hatch at the top of the sub gave a loud clang and opened.  From it emerged a young man dressed in a naval officers uniform.  He wore a goatee and had somewhat Machiavellian appearance, with his knowing smirk and intelligent eyes.

"Greetings," the young man said in English.  "I couldn't help but overhear you gentlemen mention the word 'anime.'  I'm looking for a troupe of anime characters and authors.  Have you seen them anywhere?"

The two Italians, not understanding a word of English, simply looked up at him and asked, "Americano?"

"Correct!" the audacious otaku affirmed.  "The name is Thinker.  I am a fashioner of words, a weaver of stories, a... uh... vocalizer of vocabulary!"  He sweatdropped at that last one, but quickly recovered.  "I am, in short, an author.  My business of receiving a college education and writing the first definitive novel of the twenty-first century has taken me into the business of acquiring money by matching wits with the best and brightest the anime community has to offer and I am looking for such company once again."

The two men merely stared.

"But this trip is not for financial gain, my good fellows, but for love!  There is a dear, sweet girl who has captured my heart with her captivating cleverness, calculation, and connivance.  In short, she's a sneaky money-grubbing temptress, and I'm returning to her."

The two men continued to stare at him.  "He-lo?" one asked in broken English.

Thinker blinked, realizing the situation.  "Do you speak English?"

No response.

"Hablan español, ustedes?"

No response.

"Nihongo o hanashimas ka?"

Again, no response.

"Oo-day oo-yay eak-spay Ig-pay Atin-lay?!" he demanded.

They shrugged.

"Well, no matter," he said, letting out a sigh.  "Figures that this would be a European tour.  Three languages I speak and I can't hardly use any of them!  I'll just have to carry on my search alone.  Thank you for your time, gentlemen."

With that, Thinker went back inside the sub, which submerged itself, letting the two men back into the water.  Moments later, a huge, fifty-foot cylindrical craft resembling a cross between a space ship and a satellite exploded from the water and soared off into the distance.

Inside, at the controls of the "Thinktank," Thinker eyed the monitors, eagerly searching for his comrades whom he had chased halfway across Europe to find.  At the back of his mind, he wondered if the government had noticed their secret transforming aircraft had gone missing yet, then went on to more pressing matters.

"Ah, Nabiki Tendo... soon we will once again be together..."

===

It was quite a task to enter the flooded streets of Venice sans the motor home.  With that, Nabiki dropped off mostly everyone (sans Ranma) to find a suitable place to park, allowing the group some much needed sight-seeing time.  The canals and architecture were enough to stir those feelings of romanticism within the girls and need to learn about the city within the boys, and those from both genders looked around in awe.

The distant sound of two male someones' attempts to sing a duet of a romantic operatic aria brought their attention to one of the bridges that passed over one of the canals.  Those who could recognize the voices looked over the edge and waited in anticipation.

It was a pair of two gondolas with two gondoliers each and a few female passengers.

The first narrow craft carried a blonde pigtailed bishoujo who bubbled with some kind of underlying perkiness: Boosh.  The second slightly built femme was a strawberry blonde, but two tawny cat ears stuck out from the brilliant copper mane; Catgirl Kuriko.  A new comer was an anthropomorphic coyote furry; obviously it was Coyote herself, and she brimmed with destructive potential.

From under the wide brimmed hat of the gondolier, Shinju could make out the edges of long black hair, and the hands grasped around the long paddle had flecks of black nail polish.  And from his voice, he sounded like a favourite rocker...

"Girijo-koibito!" she squealed out at the top of her lungs.

On the second gondola, two girls and one male (sans the captain of the boat) were seated comfortably.  The first girl, with her waist long, auburn hair worn in a high ponytail, looked up with her yellowish eyes; this was Yamano Megami.  The second girl had her auburn hidden under a bandanna, but the bright green of her vest and camo-print pants gave her away as Becker Wein.  And the boy had disheveled curly blonde hair and glasses, but the twin Tokos sitting on each shoulder identified him as Vince and his Tokomons Prozac and Valium.

The gondolier took off his wide brimmed hat to reveal his scruffy short cut navy blue hair, and he looked up through his thick black glasses.  He he held on the note he was on in the aria and changed gears quickly to become much more rockish.

"Holy sweet goddam!  You left your boyfriends in CrapBoardia!" sang Rigijo.

"We admire our shining kois and try to sing a tune!" paraphrased Girijo.

Both girls smiled at their boyfriends, two custom made bishounen brothers.  They were flattered at the song portion rewritten for them.

"Heya Starsie!" greeted Becker.  "Glad to see you're finally enjoying your work!"  She gave off a wink and a slight nod towards Rigi.

Shinju waved at her most of her fellow citizens.  Not wanting to be parted from her dearest any longer, she hopped on the bridge railing and jumped off, landing on the gondola that Girijo commandeered.

The boat rocked a bit with some protest from its passengers, but Boosh helped her fellow senior CrapBoardian.

The blonde bishoujo smiled.  "We got a helpful tip that there'd be a stopover here.  How's about a little tour?"

Catgirl looked around and her ears twitched a little in anticipation.  "Come on sweeties!  We wouldn't want to waste some time in this romantic city!"

"Along with every other European city.  It's just old buildings and a bunch of pretty advertising!" Valium cried upon Vince's shoulder.

"But none of these cities are prettier than me!" said Prozac snobbishly.

The Toko tamer himself bopped the prima donna digimon over the head and adjusted his glasses.  "Don't ruin the mood Prozac, or shall your twin brother Valium take you for a time out?"

Yamani and Coyote crossed their arms and snuffed.  "Let's not waste our time, or do we have to waste this place?" they asked threateningly.

Just glad to get out of the vehicle, everyone walked down by the boats and took up their rides.

===

Conveniently finding her on the outskirts of Venice, and on one of the city's available paved roadways, he called to her.

"Nabiki!"

Manny Edwards had another package.  He couldn't help but look around at the situation.  It was so... out of control.  He had hoped to just drop whatever this was and get out.

"Yeah?" Nabiki ran up to him.

He handed the package off.  "I think it's another bomb.  It's addressed to you, so look out.  You might want to get some other dope to open it."  As Manny walked off, Nabiki looked at it closely.  It was certainly suspicious.  She decided to take Manny's advice and find a dope.

"Hey!  Ranma!  Could you do me a favor?"

Fresh off a cold shower, girl-type Ranma walked up to Nabiki.  "Yeah?"

Nabiki dumped the package off.  "Be a dear and open this."

While Nabiki sought shelter, Ranma opened the package and screamed.  It was worse than a bomb.  It wasn't worse than Togepi but it was worse than a bomb...

"Meow?"  It wasn't just any cat.  That was obvious when she jumped on Ranma's shoulders and rubbed against her head.  Ranma continued to scream.  It was her one weakness.  Cats.

If given long enough, Ranma's fear of cats would be driven to the point where she would begin to act like one herself.  Fortunately for everyone concerned, Nabiki did some heads-up thinking and splashed a bucket of warm water on both Ranma and the cat.  Ranma was male... and Shampoo was still rubbing her head against his shoulder.

"Sh... Shampoo?"

Shampoo cooed, "Wo da airen."

"Shampoo... why can't you just take a plane?" Nabiki asked calmly.

"Airplane cost too too much.  Air mail much more thrifty!"

"Well, if my idea goes according to plan, money won't be a problem.  See that ramen cart over there?"  Shampoo looked over and nodded.  "They're making a bundle.  I think if we play our cards right, the new Neko Hanten Italy franchise can steal a little bit of market share from him."

"Aiya!  Shampoo franchising!"

"Let's do it then..."

===

Bringing themselves back to the meeting place, Nabiki looked disapprovingly at the newcomer CrapBoardians and friends.

"We can't fit them in there!  Unless they wanna pay up their share of the gas and food."

"But- but- but- our girlfriends!" cried the twin bishounen Girijo and Rigijo.

Smiling sweetly, the bishoujo Boosh assured her.  "Don't worry ma'am!  We're going to be on our way, we were just visiting."

Knowing what this meant, Shinju turned to Merc, who had hitched a ride with them up till then.

"Aw... Merc-san, sorry to do this to you... but you and your personas are gonna get kicked out."

Smiling good naturedly, Merc shrugged.  "Meh.  I'm okay with it!"

"Hey!  Star-san!  Merc's gonna go!"

Rats, now I won't get my revenge! she thought to herself.  But aloud, "Well, it was fun while it lasted... But keep yourself and the others on call.  Something big might come up..."

"Sure!"

The two authoresses waved good-bye to their friends, and boyfriends, as they piled into Boosh's cute orange VW Bug and watched them drive off.

With them out of sight, Shinju turned her eye to Star.  "What do you have in mind?"

Perking her eyebrows and smiling slyly, she dropped her words to a whisper.  "Two words.  Toga.  Party."

===

"Hey V-Mon... is it me or has business been a bit slower today?"  Daisuke looked at the virtually empty group of people eating his ramen.  It was mostly his loyalists like Taichi and Yamato.

"Hmm... that's really weird," V-Mon responded.

"I wonder what the problem is... this isn't the kinda market for a mass publicity campaign."

V-Mon sat up on the counter.  "Oh well, looks like that stunt didn't last long."

"Hey!  Get down from the counter, it's unsanitary..."

V-Mon pointed off the left.  "Holy schmoly!  Look over there!"

Daisuke looked, and saw his worst nightmare.  Somehow his core customers were all in line for some other establishment.

"What?  How'd we lose business so fast?"

Daisuke ran next door to see how he was losing so much business.  He found out immediately.  It was just another ramen shop, but Daisuke's place wasn't manned by two cuties like Shampoo and girl-type Ranma.  In fact, Shampoo stepped up to the counter immediately.

"Aiya, this Neko Hanten, can Shampoo take order?"

For a second, Daisuke himself fell for it.  But his business sense soon prevailed.  "Hey, what're you doin' stealing my business?"

"Shampoo have to ask manager," Shampoo replied, looking very cute.

Within seconds, Nabiki popped in, with a sinister smile on her face.  "Having problems with a customer, Shampoo?"

"You!!  What are you doing?"

"What's the problem, Mr. Motomiya, afraid of a little competition?"

"But... but..."

"But nothing old man, this is Neko Hanten territory now!"

"I don't think so!  You've never tangled with me before!  I'm not smart enough to give up right away!  You'll rue the day you ever challenged Daisuke Motomiya!"  Davis stormed off.  On the way, he saw Sana Kurata in line.  He grabbed her and dragged her out of line.  "C'mon Sana, I need your help."

Nabiki shrugged her shoulders.  What could an idiot like that do with an idiot like Sana?

===

"Unbelievable..." Nabiki couldn't believe that Daisuke's marketing plan had actually worked.

One twist of the Nori-Nori and Sana-chan was in business!

"Ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen, come get your ramen ramen.  Day or night, night or day, everything will be okay 'cuz ramen's here and ramen's there so eat your ramen without care!  In a bowl or in a cup, it's ramen ramen eat it up!  Get some noodles fresh today, it's ramen made by Daisuke!!!!"

Daisuke smiled.  "V-Mon- you can't go wrong with celebrity endorsements."

"And she writes her own jingles!" V-Mon observed.

"That's it..."  Nabiki was getting desperate.  "Ranma!  Where's that Lum bikini?"

"Oh no, I ain't wearing that thing again!"  Ranma wasn't going to go that far for Nabiki's business.

"Oh you don't have to wear it... but Shampoo would look nice in it."

Ranma was offended.  "And you're saying I didn't?"

They were interrupted by Daisuke, with a big grin on his face.

"So, ready to call it quits yet?"

"Never!  We're the dominant ramen shop in this town, and we're going to prove it eventually."

"Well let's get something down on paper and make sure?"

"Okay, fine!  From the time the next executed person arrives to the one after that- whoever makes the most in that time stays.  The loser packs up and goes home."  Nabiki extended a hand, which Daisuke promptly received.

"Always nice making deals with fellow capitalists.  I look forward to driving your company into the ground."  Daisuke walked back to his cart while Ranma sweatdropped.

"Um... Nabiki?  Just when is the next person arriving?"

Nabiki checked her watch.  "Fifteen minutes ago... and I'm supposed to pick her up... gotta run!"  Nabiki charged out the door.

===

Kasumi was mad enough already.  As soon as she took a look around, she knew things were bad.  Taichi was middle-aged and talking on the phone with what was apparently his son, so she could no longer harass him about his little crush on her.  Her driver, Nabiki, explained absolutely nothing, as she promptly left to attend some ramen stand.  She was still miffed at the fact that she completely fell into Kenji's plans and was just another of his victims.  And to top it all off, this Sakura girl was walking around with Togepi!!

"Hey, Kasumi!  Episode five... some coincidence, huh?"  Satoshi tried his best to cheer her up.  He was rewarded by her picking him up and shaking him violently.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN COINCIDENCE?!  I GET COMPLETELY HUMILIATED BY KENJI AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS THAT'S IT A COINCIDENCE!  I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE!  AND WHAT IS SAKURA DOING WITH TOGEPI??!!"

Sakura quietly walked up to Kasumi.  "Shh... Tomoyomon's sleeping."  She started to walk away.

Kasumi immediately returned her attention to Satoshi.  "What happened?"

"Oh, uh... I got Togepi from her sisters, but Sakura grabbed it and wanted to take care of it, which was fine with me... but then Koushiro kinda came in and classified it as a Digimon, named it after Tomoyo, and put it in the official record.  Hey, no biggie right?"

Apparently it was a biggie, as Kasumi started beating the living snot out of the Masara Town trainer.  So much, in fact, that it started to attract an audience... although immediately after catching sight of it, Star ran around to the other side of the trailer.

Akito and Ruri were just having a normal conversation, but they didn't know they were being observed by one Mei Hanaiki, armed with the romantic tension meter.

"Mei!"  Star ran up to her.

"Star!  Man, check this out, Ruri really has the hots for Tenkawa!"

"Yeah, that's nice... but you gotta bring that thing over to the other side- Kasumi's wailing on Satoshi!"

"Cool!"

The two authors ran to catch the action.

"Oh..." Tenchi was sickened by one particular shot.  "That's gotta hurt."

"No, no... not if you take it on the hip.  Then it's no biggie."  Keitaro was the guru on taking beatings from violent women.

"And furthermore you let Togepi get registered as a Digimon without..."  Kasumi was continuing her tirade on the almost unconscious Satoshi when an explosion rang a few yards away.

Everybody looked up and stared at Mei... covered in shrapnel and holding what remained of the romantic tension meter.

"Forget the wedding, are there any kids on the way?" Shinju quipped.

Kasumi found it fruitless to continue pounding Satoshi any further, and the group dispersed.  This wasn't necessarily a good thing, as she desperately needed to find Togepi.

"TOGEPI??!!"

Her shouts reached nobody.  For Sakura and "Tomoyomon" had already gone to bed.

===

Outside of the RV, the two business combatants were counting their profits for the day.

Nabiki stood confidently behind Shampoo as the Amazon handed her the bills to count up.

Daisuke kept on a smug poker face as he and V-Mon looked at the amount of cash they made. 

Together, they passed the money to the three judges present: Ruri, Adam, and Tenchi.

With a final tally of the currency by the judges and the announcement of who won, Daisuke slammed his palm down on the table and let off a victory yell.

"Ha!  My company beat your company!  I win, you lose!  How about that?"  He leaned in close to Shampoo's face and smiled smugly.

The girl's brow mired in thought.  "Hmm..."

Her decision in mind, Shampoo kissed Daisuke on the lips, much to the surprise of everyone gathered around.

"According to Chinese Amazon law, if defeated in battle by outside boy, you must marry boy.  Shampoo's life just got too too sucky."

End of Side Story 4

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks Merc for that amusing (sic) border scene, Thinker for his insert in Venice, and Adam for Miaka's entrance as well as the ramen war.  I will say now that I might not really write for the Nadesico, Tenchi, or Fushigi Yuugi people.  I have to say that I haven't seen much of their anime, so I may not get their characters right.  Don't worry, more cameos on the way (it's just taking a while to organize them... -_-') and I'll try to catch up with M2's accelerated posting pace.  Get ready for some more in the next story!