Disclaimer: All the authors and readers that appear in this side story own themselves.  Original characters that appear belong to their respective creators.  And all anime characters that appear belong to their respective series, companies, and creators as well.  Any nods and references mentioned over the course of this document belong to their original sources.

Author's Notes: Advance thanks to Tamsin for her Sana rap about the Mole.  In this ep, we all play a game that will have you people wanting the home version of it!  So here's to the final Side Story to wrap this up and sent us off to another adventure.

The Mole 2: AE - Side Story 7

Waiting on the side of the road, the deserted authors, anime characters, and Players Panel waited for Sana's contact to arrive.  She had someone in mind, and everyone wondered what crazy character would show up to help them get across the country and to the final destination of the show.

When the sight of an oncoming large tour bus was headed for them, the ambiguity of such a large vehicle made them almost forget the issue about the driver's sanity.  All they could see that a tour bus meant much more modern conveniences and lots of room for personal space would be provided!

Their nervous question was soon answered when the bus pulled over to their side of the road, indicating that it was indeed meant for them to take.  But for the question of who their driver was...

All hoped that he or she wasn't as vindictive as Nabiki.

A man with dark coloured hair and sporting a pair of dark tinted sunglasses answered that question.

Sana hopped onto the bus first and hugged the man.  "Rei-kun!" she enthusiastically greeted him.

"Sana-chan, I'm glad to see that you're alright," Rei Sagami simply said.

"If it isn't the blind wonder," commented Hayama.

Rei gulped.  But of course, where Sana was, the troublemaker would follow.

"Hop aboard everyone!"

Obeying the genki girl, all boarded the big bus and looked around in awe.

It was a tour bust that was to be expected that would be provided for a girl of Sana's status.

"This bus is fit for a rock star!" cried Mei, earning a glare from Yamato.

"Or even a pop idol!" added Tenchi, garnering one from Naru.

"Nope!  Fit not for a rock star or pop idol, but for an actress like me: Sana-chan!"

Interrupting, Rei-kun asked, "So, where to?"

"To Rome?" Adam suggested.

"No," said Star.  She was looking at the little DP3 gift.  "I'm picking up another author's signal here in Italy, and it wouldn't be nice if we didn't bring him or her along for the ride.  Besides, I have a feeling that it's an old friend!"

"So, where to Star-san?" asked Shinju.  "You're the one with the tracking device."

"I say... We're going to Ibiza!"

"Ibiza's an island in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Spain," corrected Ruri.

"Eh... heh, yes.  I mean: we're going to Pisa!"

===

"Where are we?" Kentaro asked impatiently.  He was quite fed up with his yellow bandannaed traveling companion's sense of direction.  "You said that we'd get to the nearest awaiting train, and that was days ago!  Quite frankly, I'm fed up with this!"

Ryoga looked up from the tattered map that he held in his hands.  "Now, I'm quite sure that we're almost there.  We just keep heading north.... or was that northwest?  Or just west?"  He started to mutter to himself about where to go and something about needing a compass, but then again, they were always faulty when he used them.

Kentaro sighed, quite exasperated.  He was just ready to pull out his cell phone and call for a ride home, but he realized, how could he?  He couldn't speak a word of Italian!  It seemed that he was stuck with Ryoga, his fellow rival.

Not wanting to play another stretch of days into weeks into months of Lost, Kentaro decided to test the waters and just try to see if angry Japanese could somehow universally translate into Italian.  He reached for his cell phone, just when he heard the rumbling of a large oncoming vehicle.

He looked up and saw a tour bus, headed for them.  This was salvation!

Kentaro started to jump up and down and yell frantically, trying to divert the driver's attention to the stranded pair.

Fortunately, the bus did stop for them, and the doors opened to reveal the driver that was Rei Sagami, and Sana Kurata hopping up and down to the sound of the Nori-Nori repeating, "Pick them up, pick them up, pick them up."

Kentaro looked at the bouncing girl and back at Ryoga, who was still discussing directions with himself.

"Ryoga!  Come on!  We have a ride!"

That snapped him out of his trance.  He hefted his rucksack of supplies on his back and he stepped up to the open bus doors.  "Good, maybe I can give you some directions to the Nerima district of Tokyo."

The resounding collective "NO!" was his reply.

The doors snapped closed in his face and he was left eating its dust as it drove off without him. 

===

The Leaning Tower of Pisa.  It was tall, it was grand, it was leaning.  A testament that architecture gone awry could still turn a profit.  It took only true artistes to appreciate that kind of statement.

And sitting a bistro, looking worldly and learned like the genius he was, was Thinker.  He casually glanced at his watch.

"They should be here soon.  I wonder how they'll make an entrance..." He shook his head, reprimanding himself.  "This is Star Otaku and Adam Pulver.  They're gonna come in like normal people."

Suddenly, trundling down the cobblestone road was a a tour bus.  It lurched to a stop, and the first ones to step out were Arpulver and Star Otaku.  And the passengers following, comprising this crazy caravan, were tired and scruffy looking anime characters and authors alike.

"It's safe to say things haven't changed when it comes to Star."

"Great Thinker-san..." muttered Shinju as she, along with everyone else, stepped out of the carts and onto good solid ground.

"And it's the freak brigade..." Thinker added, unsure what to say about the sight that presented itself before him.

Groaning, the group collectively sweatdropped, sighed, and then facefaulted.

"Definitely the freak brigade..."

Everyone hopped to their feet, flashed smiles and V-for-victory signs, and then resumed collapsing onto the ground.

It was Thinker's turn to sweatdrop.

===

The authors gathered round the cafe table with Thinker and explained the predicament that they were in.

"So you see, we know where the trailer is headed, we just don't know when it'll get there.  We don't want to arrive too late," explained Adam, the underlying evil genius.

The other evil genius, though not too evil, understood their plight and decided to help them as best as he could.  Besides, with them, this could help the quest for his beloved all the more easier!  After all, he was evil enough to have an ulterior motive in helping old friends.

"Well, the Think Tank does have some advanced tracking and GPS systems..." he started.

Jim, there on Donnie's behalf and for the Quad-R, knowing what also might help, added, "There's a tracking fix on the trailer by the Quad-R's satellites.  I know enough about the codes to help you access the signal."

"That will certainly help."

Mei wiped her mouth and set the napkin on the table.  "To Rome, and right on schedule."

"Just in time for the toga party!" cried Shinju and Star.

"Now that that's settled, now we move onto the the next task of paying the tab," said Thinker.  "Anyone pitching in?"

A silence settled over everyone.

"Um, well, maybe I have a few lira..." started Star.  She dug into her bag, and pulled out a pair of scales.  "Lira!  Not Libra!  Well, that shows that the bag is being fickle and won't let us have the money.  I guess we work for it."

From another table at the same cafe, there came a small dispute.

"Listen, we don't have the money on us!"

"CrapBoardian dollars are just as good as lira!"

Some angry Italian greeted the two patrons.

"Hey, bro, I thought you were the one with the money..."

"No... I thought you looked up the exchange rate..."

"Well, either way, it seems we're gonna be washing dishes."

Shinju and Star could recognize those voices anywhere.  And the reference to CrapBoardia's monetary system clinched it.

"Girijo and Rigijo!" the girls squealed, happy in the coincidence that their boyfriends would show up.

The two decided to swoop in for the rescue.

Shinju, borrowing from her Italian heritage, managed to tell the angry bistro manager that the two boys were with them and that they'd find some way to pay for their meal.

That pacified the man, and he left them alone.

"What brings you boys here?" asked Shinju.

Her significant other of the twins, Giri, replied, "Why, we decided to split up from the other CBians and check out all the major sights of of this country that such a part of my beloved's heritage."

To which his brother, Rigi, added, "We were just on our way to see the island of Elba, the first island of exile for Napoleon!"

Star stopped and thought about that particular place.  "Hm, the first exiled island of an ambitious, angry little man who delighted in war and conquest..."

"Reminds me a little of you," Rigi joked.  That earned him a light elbow jab into the stomach.

"I may be small and angry, but mind you, I don't have any plans on taking over the continent of Europe!"  She smiled.  "My plans for Asia, though, are another matter."

Star looked at the shocked faces greeting her.

"I was just kidding!"

"Enough joking around here," interrupted Jim, "but how are we going to pay for our tab and theirs?"

Thinking quick, the brothers pulled their guitar cases from underneath their table.

"Easy, we busk for it!"

===

"When you're on a holiday, you can't find the words to say..."

"All the things that come to you, and I wanna feel it too..."

The two bishounen had their guitars out and were singing the only things that they knew: Weezer songs and other rock tunes.  They did choose the nice romantic sounding songs though, and that pulled enough on the crowd to let them dish out the appropriate number of lira to pay for their lunches.

Having a little bit of fun with the attention and the impromptu show that they were putting on, the others decided to join in.

Star and Yamato then stepped up, but Adam took front, ready to give them a proper intro.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for an a capella number, we have Yamato Ishida and Star Otaku with a call to disgruntled lovers, friends, partners, or better halves everywhere, with 'Blah, Blah, Blah'!"

He stepped aside, to let the duet begin.

Star started off the duet first, and sang:
"It started out real sweet, I worshipped at your feet,
Swore that you had hung the moon.
But after we'd begun, I wasn't having fun.
I fear we may have peaked too soon.

Why you wanna go and do me like you do?
Why you want to beat me blue?

When you talk, all I hear is 'blah, blah, blah.'
Baby, you got nothing to say.
You're making sound good and loud now, I can't make it out.
Your lips are working fine but when you talk- 
Blah Blah."

Yamato walked along in the background as she sang, which was appropriate for his portion of lyrics, which to obviously be sung in the background):
"I hear you talking you say blah blah blah blah,
I hear you talking you say blah blah blah blah..."

With her portion done, the former rocker took lead vocals:
"My hopes were riding high, I ain't a picky guy, 
And you appeared to be a dream.
Unhappily instead, you pounded on my head,
You certainly ain't what you seem.

Why you wanna go and do me like you do?
Why you want to beat me blue?

When you talk, all I hear is 'blah, blah, blah.'
Baby, you got nothing to say.
You're making sound good and loud now, I can't make it out.
Your lips are working fine but when you talk- 
Blah Blah."

The two closed the distance between each other and held hands with their arms all spread out, keeping them as far off as they could while still linked.
"When you talk, all I hear is 'blah, blah, blah.'
Baby, you got nothing to say.
You're making sound good and loud now, I can't make it out.
Your lips are working fine but when you talk-"

They stopped as they reached the bridge and Yama had the first half:
"There was a time when all the moons were pink with apricotton skies."

Star then took over the second part:
"There was a time when all the world would think we held the reasons why..."

Star *lead*:
"And still I'm back each day, perhaps we'll find a way.
Maybe we'll see eye to eye..."

Yamato *lead*:
"But then I hear the drone of your nagging monotone.
I'd rather go out back and die.

Why you wanna go and do me like you do..."

Star: 
"Why you wanna beat me blue..."

Star & Yamato:
"When you talk, all I hear is 'blah, blah, blah.'
Baby, you got nothing to say.
You're making sound good and loud now, I can't make it out.
Your lips are working fine but when you talk- 
Blah Blah."

They kept repeating the last bit whilst their voices got softer and softer, trying to imitate a fade away.

===

Watching off to the side, Rigijo admired his girlfriend's talent, and laughed a little on the inside for who this song was probably meant for.

He was turned away from the sight when someone tapped his shoulder.  Rigi turned around to see Jim Slica there.

"Oh, you must be Jim!  A friend of D Marco's, am I correct?"

"Yes, well, sort of.  I'm more or less an employee of Mr. Marco.  And you're Star's, uh..."

"Boyfriend.  There, was that so hard to say?"  Rigi's eyes twinkled in good humour from behind his thick black emo-nerd glasses.

Jim cleared his throat slightly before he responded.  "At first, I was thinking how Don and his associates could stand her temperament.  I mean, sure she's nice and all, but I experienced her temper once, and... well I guess you know better than I do-"

"Of course I would!  And besides, her temperament is what makes her all the more adorable.  But, continue."

"Anyway, on this journey, I saw a lighter, and, well, cuter side of her.  Not much of it, but enough to say... you're a lucky man."

The bishounen looked a bit flustered at that comment.  "I guess, all I've got to say is thanks.  Glad that I could meet another pretty mellow guy in all this chaos."

"You know, you'd make a good traveling companion.  Not like some of the anime characters I had to accompany on this trip."

Rigi looked at  the group and shrugged.  "Them?  Oh they're nothing.  You should see some of the guys in CrapBordia."  And he went on to give a sample of the hijinks of the place.

It was a good thing Jim already ate, else he'd lose his appetite.  In fact, he had a sudden urge to get to know one of the toilets in the men's restroom a little better.

===

With the end of Star and Yama's number, Sana bounced into the middle of the square that they were busking in and called the crowd's attention.

"Hello everyone!  We're from The Mole: Anime Edition.  Not the second sason, but the first!  And I have a rap all about the mole."

Sana pulled out her Nori-Nori, and yelled into it, "There's a Mole, but who?"

"There's a Mole, but who?  There's a Mole, but who?" the rap-machine repeated, supplying a bouncy backing beat.

"There's a Mole in the team.
You think you have a scheme,
But then you're a has-been,
And you feel blue!

"Clues and indications
Point in new directions,
And from your deductions
A flaw floors you!

"So here's a little tip-
Just make your mem'ry skip
The teeny-tiny slip
Which you now rue!

"So don't be filled with woe,
Relax, and be mellow!
'Cos only one can know -"

"Only one can know -"

"- the Mole, that's who!"

Sana paused, and added as an afterthought, "The writer, too."

===

With more than enough money to provide them on their way, it was time for the dash to Rome.

Everyone, with their assorted vehicles, met on the edge of the square, where the tour bus (along with the towed along food franchise carts) stood out while the Pagani Roadster and Porsche seemed to blend in with the European setting.

Davis hopped into his Porsche, which he was most comfortable in, but was soon uncomfortable when Shampoo took the passenger seat beside him.

Jim hopped into his roadster and waved to his traveling companions.  "I'll meet you all in Rome!"

Star started at that.  "What?  You're leaving?  So soon?"

"I'm shooting my portion of the Quad-R there, remember?  Wouldn't want to disappoint the Quad-R or any of the fans out there who watch regularly."

"But-"

Rigi placed his arm over his girl's shoulders.  "Relax.  We will see him in Rome, right?  Invite him to the party!"

Jim revved up the engine and gave a thumbs up to Rigi.  "Thanks.  And I'll be sure to make it on time!"

"Remember, the Roman coliseum.  Bring a sheet, underwear optional!"

It seemed that last part indicating the toga party was forgotten as Jim veered off to make it for shooting his odds and commentary portion.

===

Somehow, the Eternally Lost Boy wound up at the latest rest stop for the executed Mole contestants.  Among them was his nemesis.

"Ranma Saotome- Prepare to die!!!"

Ryoga charged at Ranma with all his might, at jammed a finger into the ground.

"BUKSAI TENKETSU!"

The ground was at his command and tore a path straight towards his rival.  Ranma, predicting that the move was coming, jumped out of the way and launched his own attack at Ryoga.

"What are you two fighting about?" Keitaro asked.

Ranma paused in midair and looked at Keitaro.  "Hey, it's been a month now, and I haven't had one good battle yet," Ranma replied.

"Besides- we're rivals- do we even need a reason?" Ryoga added.

"No... carry on.  It's looking pretty entertaining," Keitaro concluded as the two continued to fight.

Kenji sat down next to Keitaro and started munching on popcorn.  "So who's winning?"

"I think the one with the bandanna."

As soon as he said that, Ranma delivered a final shot, sending Ryoga flying far, far away.  Ranma cracked his knuckles.  "Heh.  It'll take him forever to find his way back!"

Keitaro and Kenji politely applauded.

===

Ryoga continued to fly.  How could he have lose another match to Saotome?  Wherever he was destined to land, it was too good for the likes of him.

"WAAAAUUGGH!!!"  Or not... he was falling directly into the Tyrrhenian Sea.

After splashing down, he managed to swim back to shore and shake himself dry.

"How the heck am I going to get back now?" Ryoga said.  Well... at least that's what he meant to say.  To anybody listening, it all came out as a pathetic "Buiiiiii" of a little black piglet.

===

It was back on the road, and the slight droning monotone of the pavement being passed under them was really putting a damper on the fun.

"I'm bored," stated Star.  "Anything for us to amuse ourselves with?"

Quick on his feet, Adam suggested, "Crazy name pairings is a good game.  Who wants to start?"

Star thought for a moment and came up with her name suggestion.  "Keitaro always did have a penchant for violent and strange girls, and so he hooked up with Sana for the energy and Kasumi cause of the danger element.  It seemed like he was just crying out: 'SaKeit-umi!'"

"Koushiro and Ken.  What were they on?  They were Kouken.  Jyou and Ken were fooling around and having fun; they were Jyouken."

"Sana, Keitaro, and Li were fond of each other, but afraid to get close, for fear it was un-Saneitari."

"Tiring of Yamato's distant attitude, Sora hooked up with Pokemon's leading lady, Kasumi.  When they were confronted about their relationship, they said, 'So-sumi!'"

The two stopped in their exchange and looked at their third guest.

"Thinker, join in the game!  There must be at least one crazy pairing you'd like to input," encouraged Star.

Thinker stroked his chin and recalled his name suggestion from Anime Survivor's second season.  "Hm... Tomoyo and Yamato- the couple that not only defies categorization, but is good for you: Tomato!"

"Extra points of you can actually hook the two up," added Adam.

That last comment caused Yamato and Tomoyo to look at each other with wide eyes.

Yama was the first to protest.  "That- that isn't right!  I'm a forty year old unhappily married astronaut and she's a ten year old sexually confused schoolgirl!  Even if we could work it out, it'd be illegal!"

"Oh relax," said Star, dismissively waving her hand.  "It's Europe!  In here, everything is legal!"

Iori help up his hand to correct her statement.  "Actually, it's over international waters that everything is legal."

That earned him a lunchbag shot.

Yamato looked at the authoress in shock.  "What'd you do that for?"

"It's okay!  He's a lawyer!"

With that answer, Tomoyo then placed her hands on her hips and looked up at Yamato indignantly.

"So, what are you saying, I'm not cute enough for you?"

===

"Where'd Ryoga go?" Akane asked Ranma.  It had been hours since she last saw him and it was getting dark.

"I dunno.  Probably got himself lost again."

"Oh... I hope he finds his way back here.  If he gets lost in Italy, he'll never find his way home."

"What, if he got lost in Japan, would it be any different?"

"Ranma!  You don't care at all do you?"

"Uh... I suppose."

"It's just that Ryoga was welcome company.  You can never have too many friends here, right?"

"Uh... I suppose."

"It does get lonely on the road..."  Before Akane could finish, she heard something in the bushes.  Something all too familiar.  Akane headed towards the bushes to investigate, and sure enough, there it was.

"Buiiiii!"  It was all Ryoga could say.

"P-CHAN!!"  Akane picked up her pet piglet and immediately held it in her bosom.

Ranma's mouth hung open.

"You came all this way from home to see your mommy!  I can't believe you P-chan!  That settles it- you're sleeping with me tonight!"  Akane walked away with P-chan.  As she did, P-chan found its way on top of her shoulder and glared at Ranma... then stuck out its tongue at him.

Ranma simply returned the glare.  That's why he and Ryoga were rivals.  Sometimes he'd win... and sometimes he'd lose.

===

Even though it was starting to get late into the night, it was fun enjoying the luxuries of the tour bus.

Kentaro leaned back in his seat and reveled in the high class, or rather, the fact that someone with high class got enough credentials together to spring a ride for these misfits.

But then again, these misfits were filled with talent.

Naru was a failed experiment for Keiode Productions, but this eclectic group...

"After what I saw in Pisa today, I was impressed.  All of you have a lot of talent.  Have any of you ever thought of getting into the entertainment business?" he asked off-handedly.

"Of course!" replied Sana-chan.  "But, I'm already in show business."

"Really?  You're a child star?"

"Sana Kurata of Kodomo no Omacha!"

Kentaro had heard of that television series.  Among the group, one of them was even a child star who could endorse or even showcase this... this... side show!

"Well, that's nice, but you all have so much talent.  Have any of you thought of becoming pop idols or rock stars?"

That angered Naru and Yamato.  They ganged up on the man and collectively punched him in the head.

"Don't start that up again!" Naru cried.

"But we can't put to waste my idea for this new group: Side Shou!  Don't tell me you want to let this go to waste!"

That piqued Mei's interest.  "Why call us a side show?"

"No, no, no.  Side *Shou*.  Shou being short for shoujo and shounen."

"Ah, boys and girls.  Clever."

"Yes!  A clever name and an even clever ensemble!  You could all be famous!"

Star shook her head.  "Sorry, but we've all learned that fame comes at a terrible price."

Kentaro wilted.  The world was against him.

"But," she smiled, "we can paint the name 'Side Shou' on the side of the bus."

"We're gonna paint a wagon!" sang Adam.  But before he could go off on a tangent about his old Simpsons days, his cell phone rang.  "Hello?"

"Adam, Manny here."

"And?"

"We need the former players in Rome with us for the reunion ep."

"We'll try to be there on time, but we might be late."

"Why's that?"

"Nabiki kicked us out, so we're on our own."

"Well, whatever.  Just get them down to Rome before the reunion episode."

"Yes sir, will do."  After giving the phone a mock salute, he cut the line.

===

Nabiki's AA provided cell phone rang, and she answered to Mr. Edwards on the other end.

"Nabiki, good to hear you."

"What is it that you need?"

"Why does everyone think I want something?"

"Because you're a suit."

"Point.  Well, I need you to bring the former players with you to the Roman Coliseum for the reunion ep."

"Isn't that supposed to happen *after* the show?"

"The recap episode."

"On our way!  Now, bye."

Just then, Washu arrived to the trailer, grumbling about Jenrya beating her.  But she had something planned.  She wouldn't take out all her anger on Jenrya, even if he was the mole.  He was, after all, just a kid, and he was only playing the game.  But still, Jenrya wouldn't escape her treatment.

She looked around to find the group in a bit of discord already.

Satoshi and Naru were having a little dispute between them.

"No, no.  Takeshi will win!  He's my friend, and I have the utmost confidence in him," boasted Satoshi.

"Kitsune is my friend too, and I have the utmost confidence in her.  I'd say that she would win," countered Naru.

"Would the two of you care to make a wager on that?" butted in Nabiki.

"Huh?"

"It's easy!  Takeshi wins, Naru owes Satoshi.  Vice versa if it's Mitsune."

"What if it's Jenrya?" asked Satoshi.

"The answer is easy.  I collect."

"Or we could rather not owe anyone anything," said Naru.

Nabiki shrugged.  "Your loss..." she said before moving on.

Washu found another fellow contestant, Motoko, and decided to chat her up.  "Motoko!  So, did I miss anything exciting?"

"Nothing too interesting.  If you'd like to count a bunch of lunatics with self-proclaimed author powers."

"Author powers?"

"They say that they can manipulate anything the area that they so desire.  Funny, they aren't entirely omnipotent."  And with that, Motoko continued on her way.

Washu stroked her chin in thought at the possibility of some supernatural phenomena.  "The secrets of author powers?  Pshaw!  They will soon by uncovered by Washu-chan!"

===

"Hey Jenny!" Washu called out as she approached him right outside of the coliseum.

Jenrya stopped in his tracks and audibly gulped.  "I guess I'm busted, huh?"

"Naw, naw.  I say bravo.  And Jenny..."  Washu bent close and brought her hand to his face.  She grasped his face and held it up by his chin to inspect it.  "You know, someday, you'll grow up to be a handsome young man.  Just like Tenchi.  When that day comes, don't be surprised if I drop by."  She winked at him and then patted his chin before moving on.

===

All had gathered back inside the middle of the famous Roman Coliseum to celebrate the end of the second season.  It was all done and over with, and this was the one chance to party hard.  The two leading authors stood sheltered underneath an archway.

Star crossed her arms and admired the vastness of the arena.  "You invite Globie to the first season end party, now it's my turn."

Adam smiled.  "It's only fair.  So, how do you get this party started?"

She looked up in thought and hummed.  "Mmm... I don't want to pull a cheat and get all deus ex machina on you here, but..."

Star waved her lunch bag around, and in the blink of an eye, the anime characters and authors were decked out in togas and crowned with laurel wreaths.

"Toga!  Toga!  Toga!" Adam started to chant in his white sheet, then stopped short.  He glared at Star.  "Don't make me do that."

She giggled.  "Sorry, it just slipped my mind.  But for now, shall we attend to our guests?"

"Sure."

===

Some of the present Ranma cast stood toe to toe with the Digidestined present.

This was now another case that Iori had to handle.  This wasn't a custody battle, now it was a case to annul an engagement.

"Shampoo not want to call off engagement with Daisuke new airen!  It go against Chinese Amazon law.  Dishonour Shampoo."

"C'mon Shampoo!  You can't get married to this guy," said Ramna.

Ryoga and Shampoo perked up with a bit of hope.  "So you'll marry Shampoo?" the two asked eagerly.

Akane pulled out her trusty mallet and smacked Ranma.  Call it jealousy, or call it Akane instinct.

Ranma rubbed his head.  "No!  It's just that you can't marry Daisuke.  He's from another show and he's got his own family to raise."

Akane then smiled.  "I never knew you were one to care."

"Well, it just isn't right that this has to continue, that's all."

The purple haired Amazon bowed her head.  "Then Shampoo call it off, but... it bring dishonour."

Iori then remembered how she explained to him what the rules of the engagement.  "Wait, you didn't defeat him in a martial arts battle, right?"

"Right."

"So beat him in a fight!"

As quickly as that was said, Shampoo whipped out her bon bori and knocked out Daisuke.  With that, she jumped up and down happily.  "Shampoo still engaged to Ranma no airen!"

Shampoo glomped Ranma, Akane fumed, Ryoga fumed, and Iori, Taichi, and Yamato helped lug the unconscious Daisuke to a safe corner.

It was back to business as usual.

===

Shinju and the CrapBoardians (that were present in Venice) were entertaining Mei Hanaiki, Chikara, and Flower Cannon about the goings on in CB.

"And then Merc-san- Oh!  Hey Star-san!  Cool chariot."

As it was, the authoress was on a chariot.  She parked it right near her silver sheeted friend, Mercurius.

"Yeah, I wanted to go for that Roman authenticity.  And I mean the Romans of ancient times, and not the ROMans who frequent The SlipStream BBS! *wink*"

Everyone just stared at the authoress.

"What was that about?" asked Mei curiously.

"Uh... nothing.  Time for a quick getaway!  Hee-chai!"  With a crack of the reins, the chariot horse whinnied and started off.

Unfortunately, a bit of Merc's sheet was caught in the axle, so as she drove off-

"And then- MERC-SAN!"

The blushing author quickly conjured a pair of silver boxers for himself.

===

The brothers bishie were just mingling with the other males of the caravan.

Jim, just finished wrapping up his Quad-R session approached the lucky man he met in Italy.

"Rigijo!  It's nice to see you again, and your brother too."

The two held up their glasses of grape punch in tandem, as if to toast.  But upon hearing Shinju's yell, they looked in her direction and saw the transaction.

Giri took a sip of his punch and then said casually, "Man, that Merc is really well hung."

Rigi nodded and agreed.  "Too true, bro.  Wang-tastic."

Jim stared at them quizzically.

Upon noticing the strange look, Rigi said, "What?  Don't you guys normally compliment each other like that?"

"No," replied the anchorman while shaking his head.

Giri took another sip and watched as the boxer clad Mercurius angrily chased after Star's chariot.  "Weirdoes."

===

All the now former players, from first and second, gathered around to congratulate each other.

Kitsune reveled in the attention.  "Now, now.  If you all suck up enough, I might be willing to throw a little bit of the pot your way."

Naru laughed at her antics while Motoko settled to stoically pat Kistune on the back.

"Congratulations, you did very well."

"Kistune, don't you think that money should go to Hinatasou?" asked Keitaro.

Kitsune replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.  "Ah, yare yare!"

Tamahome strode up to her with Miaka in tow in the crook of his arm.  "Congratulations Kitsune.  Would you care to share?"  He held out his palm, a gesture that awaited for the currency to be palmed.

"What's the occasion?"

Miaka smiled brightly.  "Oh, you know what they say... when in Rome!  And since we're in Rome, I was thinking we could go to a quaint little restaurant..."

"And you want me to provide the money that'll cover the entire bill.  Nice try.  Why not just go for a carriage ride in the old district instead?"

Tenchi, with Washu and Jenrya, congratulated her.  One winner to another.

He shook her hand and smiled broadly.  "Kitsune, I watched some of your progress.  I'm quite impressed."

"Of course you'd be impressed, Tenchi.  Even she lasted longer than me: Washu-chan, the greatest genius in the universe!"

Jenrya couldn't help but laugh.  "And let's not forget, this second generation has had a chance to learn from the mistakes of the old-timers."

Akito and Ruri, feeling a bit like outsiders, gave handshakes and words of praise on a job well done.

Ruri talked with Jenrya.  "You did well, and at least you didn't have to answer the who'd you rather have to spend the day with question."

"Yeah, but I got to dress up like a girl and a child labourer."

"I've noticed, we both have blue hair."

"Huh, too bad there won't be another season, or else we won't know if there's a conspiracy if the runner up has to have blue hair."

"I doubt very much that Yurika would make that place."

Kitsune laughed.  "Ah!  I won tons of money and just congratulated by two handsome men: Tenchi and Akito.  What would make this even more complete is my own private island."

Overhearing, Nabiki joined her fellow scammer.  "I like how you think."

Hayama tugged at Kitsune's shirt suddenly, and the taller woman bent down to look him in the eye.

"Can you give me the same coalition deal you gave Takeshi?" he asked pointedly.

"What do you mean?"

He reached his hand out and copped a feel of Kistune's chest.  After sprouting the necessary tail and ears, he ran for it.

But not before he was intercepted by Sana's cute yellow and red squeaky mallet.  She smiled and help up a peace sign, eliciting a smile from the violent femmes present.

As for Takeshi, he was getting his share of the attention, which he thoroughly enjoyed, especially with the ladies.

Satoshi looked Takeshi over.  "I never thought you'd have pulled it off!"

He looked at the boy he considered to be a younger brother.  "Satoshi, I hope you're not disappointed in me being the mole."

"Disappointed?  More excited really!  Finally, someone from our show gets to give the slip, and this time, it isn't Kenji."

"You mean you're not-"

"Not at all!"

"And you're not going to look at me differently when we get back on the road?"

"It's not like the game is going to relate to what we usually do.  Unless it involves some top secret infiltration of Team Rocket, but I doubt that's ever going to happen, right Kenji?"

"Er... right..."  But quickly, Kenji sidled up to his fellow third wheel.  "Now, I don't know why they chose you over me," he remarked.

"You were the obvious choice.  You think the AA is stupid enough to recycle that joke?"

"Hey, some people were suspicious that the mole was hiding in plain sight.  But, you're right.  It's much more fun playing to win."

"Anything where you can get into the nitty gritty of things?"

"All part of a watcher's job."

Akane crossed her arms and looked at the breeder skeptically.  "I can't believe I was fooled."

"Well, it is the mole's job.  Deceit is our trade.  Right Tomoyo?"

The girl looked up from playing one last time with Kasumi, Sakura, and Tomoyomon, free of any legal entanglements.  She shot him a cute and innocent look.  "Takeshi, I have no idea what you mean."  She blinked her wide eyes a few times for effect.

Rika snorted.  "Phfft, if I were the mole, I would've had a better cover than that.  And a lot more convincing."

"Aw Rika, that's cause you're not like Tomoyo.  She's cute!" exclaimed Takato.  He then noticed his close proximity to her when she growled at him.  "Not that I'm say that you aren't cute, Rika!"

Ranma shook Takeshi's hand as well.  "Good job."

Takeshi smiled widely.  "Thanks.  Now, I'm wondering if all the ladies could give me a congratulatory hug and kiss?"

The girls had prepared for this.  He may have been the mole, but he was still Takeshi.  It was time for the first graduating class of Akane's Anything Goes School of Anti-Hentai Martial Arts to spring into action.

"HIYAAAAAA!!!"

===

Now that the party was wrapping up, it was time to get everyone to go to where they respectively came from.

"And now that we're here, there's also another matter that you should be handling as well..." started Adam as he confronted the AA producer.

"And what would that be?" asked Manny.

"Us!"

All heads turned to the assembled group of anime characters wanting to go home.

Those not involved quickly backed away, disentangling themselves from the mess that was to come.

"So, Star, where to now?" asked Adam knowingly.

"I'm sure Fetch and littlekitty are the ones to ask that question," she answered.

The tall lab barked happily.  "The Safari Zone, I presume?"

"You presume correctly.  Now, let's get out of here at ludicrous speed before some mallets go flying!"

The authors willing to tag along agreed wholeheartedly.

End of Side Story 7

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks Adam and Donnie for your scenes and input, and there you have it.  For some web site refs, here they are in order of mention: CrapBoardia (now at a new location), The SlipStream BBS (my sci-fi haunting grounds), Penny Arcade (for your daily dose of wang), and Five Minute Voyager (for five minutes of ludicrous Trek).  What else do we move onto now?  If you feel like you're up for another round of insanity, feel free to stroll on down to the Anime Survivor 3 Side Stories.