The Anime-zing Race
Episode Three
Authors Notes
Last episode had a couple of major
consistency problems and incorrect facts in the adaptation from Excel Saga.
However, what most people correctly identified as the biggest problem was that
Nabeshin isnt in it. I did have a scene in mind for him, but since I was
running long, and the race didnt run through Shibuya Station, I couldnt
include my Nabeshin saves the Digital World scene. Maybe Ill make it an
extra for the mailing list. Anyway, next up is a pretty obscure series, but
considered one of the few diamonds of 2002 (sorry, Full Moon wo Sagashite
just doesnt cut it). No American companies have jumped on Azumanga Daioh yet,
probably for fear of messing up this very delicately balanced series. I, on the
other hand, have no such qualms about running all over it. Yosha!
Recap
Sana:
(VO) Last time, on the Kodocha & Excel Saga leg of the Anime-zing Race!!
(Various
recap of highlights from Episode Two, showing whatever is appropriate.)
Sana:
(VO) Another classic moment from Mihoshi knocked herself and partner Kiyone
back a little!
Mihoshi: (VO) Just because we have a setback or two doesnt
mean that were out of it completely. One little mistake doesnt necessarily
mean the end of the world.
Sana: (VO) A sneaky sneaky Hayama tactic by the Anno teams,
Misato & Ritsuko and Yukino & Arima, make other teams question their
strategy.
Arima: (VO) Its fair. Were not bending the rules or
anything. Were competitive- we want to win, and well play the game as hard as
we can.
Sana: (VO) And an hideously violent Road Block messes with a
few peoples heads. I cant blame them
Takato:
(VO) Were supposed to kill this guy, then bring him back to life? That s not
just playing with the cosmos, thats punching the cosmos in the face and
stealing its lunch money.
Sana: (VO) Its really really really sad, but screw-ups
Takuya and Zoe accidentally killed Obana-san, so they got eliminated!!!
(Rapid
shots of each of the nine teams in various positions along the second leg.)
Sana:
(VO) Now, nine teams are left!
(Shot
of the Pit Stop mat at the ski slopes, with nobody standing around it.)
Sana:
(VO) Whos eating it this week, on the Azumanga Daioh leg of the Anime-zing
Race!
**** THE ANIME-ZING RACE ****
11 TEAMS OF 2:
TAKUYA & ZOE (The Digi-Destined-
Digimon) {ELIMINATED}
SAKURA & TOMOYO (The Best Friends- Cardcaptor Sakura)
SPIKE & JET (The Bounty Hunters- Cowboy Bebop)
ASH & BROCK (The Trainers- Pokmon)
AEKA & SASAMI (Team Princess- Tenchi Muyo) {ELIMINATED}
MISATO & RITSUKO (The NERV Girls- Evangelion)
SYAORAN & MEILING (The Cousins- Cardcaptor Sakura)
TAKATO & HENRY (The Tamers- Digimon)
YUKINO & ARIMA (The Dating Couple- Kare Kano)
KIYONE & MIHOSHI (The Police Officers- Tenchi Muyo)
GARY & SAMUEL (The Grandson/Grandfather- Pokmon)
12 LEGS
15 SERIES
5 COUNTRIES, 2 PLANETS, 3 DIMENSIONS, AND A SPACE STATION
**** THE ANIME-ZING RACE ****
Leg
Three
(Various shots of the ski slopes, and the lodge. Outside, Sana jumps into the
shot from out of nowhere, falls into the snow, pops back out, spins around, and
pulls out the Nori-Nori. It begins)
Sana: Break it down Sana-chan!!
(The
Nori-Nori repeats it.)
Sana:
Work it out Sana-chan!!
(Again,
the Nori-Nori repeats it)
Sana:
(rapping) Welcome to Kusatsu! Whatsu? Kusatsu! This is the Pit Stop, everybody
has to stopsu! In a big race, they just stopped the second test. Now we all lay
down for a twelve hour rest!
(Shot
of the teams mingling inside the lodge.)
Sana:
(VO) Everybody eat, sleep, mingle with the other teams! Everybody plot, plan,
set up all your dirty schemes!
(Shot
of Sakura, Tomoyo, Syaoran, and Meiling enjoying themselves aside from the
group.)
Sana:
(VO) Can the alliance stay together when the teams are last?
(Shot
of Henry getting along pretty well with Gary.)
Sana:
(VO) Will Henry work together with a snobby little ass?
(Shot
of Spike and Jet, eyeing Menchi the dog. Spike seems to have evil intentions.
Menchi is fearing for its own life and with good reason.)
Sana:
(VO) Spikey and Jet want to try to eat a Menchi
(Shot
of Ritsuko, carefully scouting Takato as a potential EVA pilot.)
Sana:
(VO) While Ritsuko wants Takato to try to eat a tenshi!
(Sana
is still alone outside rapping, although she now has a clue envelope in her
hand.)
Sana:
They started with eleven teams but now they lost two, and they dont know where
theyre goin so they have to find the clue!
(Sana
throws the clue into snow and jumps around.)
Sana:
Beep! Beep! New day starts! Cock-a-doodle-doo!
(Shot
of Ash and Brock checking in first.)
Sana:
(VO) First team to get here- Ash and Brock-a-doodle-doo! They got here at one
oclock-a-doodle-doo!
(Forward
to current time 1:04 AM. Ash and Brock are at the Pit Stop. It be night.)
Sana: (VO) So now theyre ready at the starting block-a-doodle-doo!!
(Brock
rips the clue open. Sana finally shuts up.)
Ash:
Thank you.
Brock:
For what?
Ash:
Uh never mind.
(Brock
reads the clue.)
[ASH & BROCK- Pokmon Trainers- First to Depart]
Brock: (reading) Return to Tokyo and visit the Magical Land amusement park and
find the clue by the Anaconda roller coaster.
Ash:
Do we have enough money for a bullet train?
(Brock
counts the money.)
Brock:
Hmm I think so. Itll be close.
(They
head into town to find a cab.)
Brock:
Using the Fast Forward helped our position a lot. Were forty minutes in front
of those hotties from NERV. But now that we have to find a way back into Tokyo,
we have a new problem- money.
(Rapid
shots of a bullet train cruising to Tokyo, followed by a taxi heading to the
amusement park. A route marker is next to a very large roller coaster. The
first host for this episode is Yomi Mizuhara, the only remotely sane girl in
Azumanga Daioh.)
Yomi: (VO) Teams must get back to Tokyo using any means possible and reach the
Magical Land amusement park. Once inside, they will have to look around and
find the route marker near the feature attraction- the Anaconda roller coaster.
(Misato
and Ritsuko are entering a cab.)
[MISATO & RITSUKO- NERV Girls- 2nd to Depart]
Misato: (VO) Were feeling very good right now. First leg we ended up on the
second plane, but finished first out of them. Second leg we fought up to the
first pack, and finished first out of everybody who actually did the whole leg.
Id say thats pretty hot, wouldnt you?
(Yukino
and Arima are counting their money. They finish, and run after a cab.)
[YUKINO & ARIMA- Dating Couple- 3rd to Depart]
Yukino: (VO) Im trying not to overreact about not being in first. Arima and
I both agree that its not smart to use the Fast Forward, and if another team
wants to waste it now to get ahead of us, theyll get theirs later. But when we
cant beat an alcoholic and the daughter of a computer- thats what pisses me
off!!
(Ash
and Brock reach the train station and are looking up prices.)
Ash:
First bullet train leaves at 6:17.
Brock:
And everything else is too slow. Wed still get there faster on that Hikari.
Ash:
Can we afford it?
(Brock
counts the money carefully.)
Brock:
We could, but I dont know how much wed have for taxis and stuff later.
(Ash
considers the situation.)
Brock:
I dont think we have much of a choice. Thats the fastest way to get there,
and everybody will be on it. If we miss it, were out of luck.
Ash:
I guess well have to figure out how to save money later.
(They
ultimately buy two tickets and leave the station.)
Ash:
I guess we got into this fix ourselves. We werent really watching how much we
were spending. We took a couple extra cab rides, and were eating just about
every chance we could. That- and that DVD was really expensive!! I dont get
how anyone could afford to get those on a regular basis. Do anime fans not eat
or something?
(Gary
and Samuel look over their clue and count their money as Takato and Henry wait
for the cue to open theirs.)
[GARY & SAMUEL- Grandson / Grandfather- 4th to Depart]
Gary: Last leg we got a little help from Takato and Henry. And since were
so close to each other, its tempting to keep working together for the time
being. And I dont have anything against it. They both have a lot of qualities
that Grandpa and I seem to lack.
(Takato
& Henry join Gary & Samuel and they run to the street to get cabs.)
[TAKATO & HENRY- Digimon Tamers- 5th to Depart]
Samuel: Do you two have enough for a bullet train?
Henry:
Yeah, were good.
Takato:
Lets get on the same train and see who else is on then.
Gary:
Deal.
(They
both get into cabs.)
Takato:
It wasnt exactly part of our strategy, but working with Gary and Sam just
seems to be the best way to go right now. Its not that I really like them. In
fact, I dont really trust Gary all that much. But for now, Im willing to work
with him.
(Misato
and Ritsuko purchase their tickets at the train station.)
[MISATO & RITSUKO- Currently in 2nd Place]
Ritsuko: (VO) We ended up buying tickets for the 6:17 train, and I predict
that everybody will be on it. We had a little extra money, and we had about
four hours, so we thought wed see if there was a cost-efficient hotel in the
area.
(They
talk to the ticket counter.)
Misato:
Where is the best place for a cheap hotel?
Clerk:
Hmm how cheap do you want it?
Ritsuko:
Quality is not an issue.
Misato:
Yeah, we are cheap bastards.
Ritsuko:
We work for the government.
Clerk:
Gotcha. Well Id hate to say it, but you know those seedy motels where couples
go for one-night stands?
(Misato
nods. Ritsuko frowns.)
Clerk:
Theres one about three blocks away. Hourly rates. Only kinda seedy.
Misato:
That works, lets go.
(Misato
walks away, satisfied. Ritsuko is less so.)
Ritsuko:
Can we talk about this?
(Yukino
& Arima are inside the station, seated, counting their money. They are well
away from the ticket counter.)
Arima: (VO) We got our tickets- no problem. But what to do after that was
tough.
(Yukino
yawns.)
Yukino:
Im getting tired, and weve got a few hours. Maybe we should find a hotel to
sleep at until then.
(Arima
blushes. Yukino looks up at him and blushes as well. Well skip the pencil
sketches, character analysis, and other fine Anno trademarks for now.)
Arima:
Well, we have to save our money. We should have enough for this leg, but we
never know how much well get after this.
Yukino:
But what are we supposed to do until then? Im only working off two hours of
sleep. I dont know how long I can go on that.
Arima:
We can sleep on the bench.
Yukino:
But but Arima
Arima:
Whats wrong?
Yukino:
Its a bench. I cant sleep on a bench. I mean, it looks so primitive. What if
somebody sees us?
(Arima
holds her for a moment.)
Arima:
There arent really any other options right now. So we can either stay awake
until the train comes or we can sleep. It wont be that bad.
Yukino:
Arima
(They
pull out their sleeping bags and sleep on the bench. Typical spoons position if
youre familiar with it.)
Yukino:
(semi-tired) It was awful. The bench was cold, the lights were bright. I barely
got any sleep. I knew this was going to be difficult, but to be in that
situation, and feeling so helpless I wasnt ready for that.
(Kiyone
and Mihoshi are running towards the streets, both trying to hail a cab.)
[KIYONE & MIHOSHI- Galaxy Police Officers- 6th to Depart]
(Behind
them, Spike and Jet are chasing after them.)
[SPIKE & JET- Bounty Hunters- 7th to Depart]
Kiyone:
(VO) I seem to have two separate rivalries with Spike and Jet. I respect Jet a
lot. He and I seem to get along pretty well, and although were competing, its
more friendly. But with Spike I want to beat him for the sake of beating him.
Bounty hunters like him try to make police officers look like incompetent fools
that cant even bust balloons, much less wanted criminals. But Im proud to
serve the Galaxy Police and Im going to show them that we can do our job
better than any bounty hunter can.
(Gary,
Samuel, Takato, and Henry are walking into a hotel. Its probably nicer than
the one Misato and Ritsuko went to.)
Samuel:
(VO) The fastest way to get back into Tokyo is to take a train that leaves at
six. We have a couple hours to burn, so were pooling our money with Takato and
Henry to try to get a cheap hotel room.
(They
walk up to the front desk.)
Henry: (VO) We dont play devious. Takato and I arent going to lie our way
through this race. Fortunately, Gary and Samuel seem more willing to give it a
shot!
(Samuel
talks to the concierge.)
Samuel:
We seem to be in a bit of a fix. I just got into town late with my three
grandchildren here and we have to leave right away tomorrow morning. Would it
be possible to stay in a room for just a few hours?
Henry:
We wont even ask for the free continental breakfast.
Samuel:
No, a wake up call at 5:30 will do nicely.
Concierge:
Well, seeing as we have a double open, I guess I can sneak you in with a
discounted rate. Are your grandchildren under twelve?
Samuel:
(eyeing Takato and Henry) Um sure I guess they could be under twelve.
(The
concierge types on a computer.)
Concierge:
Since children under twelve stay free and youre only here for half the night,
we can provide half off on a single room. How does that sound?
Samuel:
Sounds great!
(They
do all the paperwork and check into their room, a very nice one. Takato and
Henry pay Samuel for their half of the room while Gary admires the place.)
Gary:
Man! Half off on a single room, split between two teams? Thats a steal! So
are you two really under twelve?
Takato:
Uh I guess you could say that sort of.
(Yukino
is trying to sleep, but having little luck. Arima squeezes his way out and
stands up.)
Yukino: Arima?
Arima:
Sorry, did I wake you up?
Yukino:
No
Arima:
I just have to run to the mens room. Ill be back soon.
Yukino:
Okay
(Yukino
doesnt move as Arima walks off.)
Brock:
(OS) Its easier to just sleep in here. Lets just find a bench or something
(Yukino
doesnt react.)
Ash:
(OS) Okay. Wouldnt be the first time
(Yukino
breaks her form and turns into chibi-Yukino, now angry.)
Yukino:
Damn
(Ash
and Brock approach. Brock sees Yukino and smiles.)
Brock:
Well if it isnt a sleeping angel
Yukino:
(muttering) Yeah, an angel thats going to destroy the city if you dont shut
up and leave me alone.
(Ash
smiles.)
Ash:
(teasing) Whats the matter Yukino? Dont like your bench?
(Yukino
sits up and gives Ash that really, really, hateful look that only she is
capable of.)
Yukino:
Go. Away.
Brock:
Cmon Ash, just leave her alone.
(They
look elsewhere for a bench, allowing Yukino to return to normal and fall back
onto the bench. She hits her head.)
Yukino:
(whining) Ow
(She
rubs it off and stares straight up. She looks about ready to cry.)
(The
two Cardcaptor teams head out. The three girls are tired, while Syaoran seems
fine.)
[SYAORAN & MEILING- Cousins / SAKURA & TOMOYO- Best Friends- Last to
Depart]
Sakura: (VO) Tomoyo and I and Li and Meiling have been working together this
whole time. Thats really good, but now were tied in last place. I dont like
being in last place. Now I know how Naoko feels.
(Syaoran
and Meiling are in their cab. Syaoran is asleep and snoring. Meiling shakes
him.
Meiling: Hey Syaoran!!
Syaoran:
Obviously the problem with working with Kinomoto and Daidouji is that it cant
last forever. Being in last makes us wonder if were going to have to eliminate
each other somewhere down the road.
(Arima
returns from the bathroom, and passes Brock, quietly observing both Yukino and
Ash sleeping on opposite sides of the station. Well hes mostly observing
Yukino.)
Arima:
Cant sleep?
Brock:
I feel rested enough. Ill sleep on the train.
Arima:
Do you guys have the 6:17 too?
Brock:
Hikari? Yo.
(Arima
sits down next to Brock.)
Arima:
So what brings you down here?
Brock:
We are really tight on money right now. I think most of the other teams found
hotels, but we cant afford one.
Arima:
We could probably afford one, but Im afraid that well run out pretty soon if
we do. We havent been careful enough in our spending.
Brock:
Neither have we. This legs going to be really tough for us. Hopefully the taxi
to Magical Land wont cost an arm and a leg.
(Arima
sighs, debating on whether or not to tell something to Brock. He relents.)
Arima:
You know theres a shuttle service.
Brock:
Hm?
Arima:
Ive been to Magical Land a couple times. Theres a shuttle there from the
train station. I dont know if its faster than a taxi but its certainly
cheaper.
Brock:
Is that what youre taking?
Arima:
I havent talked it over with Yukino yet. I dont know if shell like the idea.
Brock:
I know. Its a big risk. You know in Naha, when we both took taxis to the
airport?
Arima:
Yeah. That was interesting.
Brock:
Well the other teams all took the bus. Didnt get there until twenty minutes
later.
(Brock
starts drooling.)
Brock:
Six cute girls all on one bus. Wish we had thought of that.
Arima:
You know wed probably make a good team. We all have that competitive spirit.
(Arima
laughs.)
Arima:
If only you two didnt hate Yukino!
(Brock
frowns.)
Brock:
Hey, only Ash hates Yukino. Me
(Brock
stares at Yukino for a full minute before turning back to Arima and
concluding.)
Brock:
You are the luckiest man on Earth.
(Spike
and Jet have their tickets as Kiyone and Mihoshi leave to find a hotel.)
Spike:
Look at them. Of course they have to go find a hotel. If they dont get their
six hours of beauty sleep they turn into foul monsters.
Jet:
Im assuming you just want to stay here?
Spike:
Yeah. Here works fine.
(Spike
and Jet stay on the exact same spot. Spike lights a cigarette.)
Spike:
You know I still say that Excel girl was onto something with her emergency food
supply idea. Really now, what has Ein done for us lately?
(Fast
forward er bad terminology. Dissolve into the next morning. Ash & Brock,
Yukino & Arima, and Spike & Jet are all at the train station, waiting.)
Jet: (VO) I guess a lot of teams looked for hotels. About twenty minutes
before the train was supposed to get here, there were only three teams waiting.
Now, Im not one to argue against waiting until the last minute, but when
everybody has tickets for the same two-hour train ride you cant afford to
miss it.
(At
the love hotel, yuri fans can delight in the sight of seeing Misato and Ritsuko
sleeping in the same bed, even if its a pretty sensible shot. Close-up of the
nightstand, and a clock that hits 5:30. A phone rings, presumably a wake-up
call. Misato instinctively reaches over, picks up the receiver, slams it down,
and goes back to sleep.)
--
(By
now, everybody except Misato & Ritsuko are at the train station, mingling
as they wait for the train.)
Yomi: (VO) All nine teams have tickets for the 6:17 Hikari train bound for
Tokyo. Once there, they will need to find the clue in the Magical Land
amusement park.
(Meanwhile,
the clock at the hotel hits six. On the other side of the bed, Ritsuko opens
her eyes and glances over at it. Her eyes jolt open immediately and she jumps
out of bed.)
Ritsuko:
Misato!!
(Misato
is still out. Ritsuko gets up and starts shaking her.)
Misato:
(half-asleep) Pen-Pen if you want breakfast make it yourself.
(Ritsuko
begins to get ready, still yelling to wake Misato up. She has her bag packed.
Misato is up, but is incredibly drowsy and lethargic.)
Misato:
What the hell are you doing in my room?
Ritsuko:
Get up, we have to go.
Misato:
Jeez stop your bitching let me wake up first.
Ritsuko:
We dont have time. Hold on
(Ritsuko
heads to the phone, dials a number, and waits for an answer.)
Ritsuko:
Room service? I need a six-pack up here STAT!
(At
the station, Tomoyo taps Sakura on the shoulder.)
Tomoyo:
Sakura? Have you noticed that Misato-san and Ritsuko-san arent here?
Sakura:
They arent?
(Sakura
jumps in place a few times, trying to see over peoples heads to verify the
claim.)
Sakura:
I dont see them anywhere. What if they miss the train?
Meiling:
Good!
(Sakura
and Tomoyo turn towards Meiling.)
Meiling:
We were last long enough. Let somebody else go home thats what I say! Eh,
Syaoran??
Syaoran:
Um yeah.
(They
hear the train begin to pull into the station.)
(A
six-pack of ice cold beer is delivered to the room. Ritsuko yanks one off the
plastic and hands it to Misato.)
Ritsuko:
Here- drink this.
(Misato
downs the whole can in one gulp, and abruptly wakes up with her traditional
jubilant shout of morning cheer.)
Misato:
Cmon Ritsuko! We cant afford to miss that train! Get a move on!!
(Misato
grabs her things and is out the door, making sure to take the rest of the
six-pack with her. Ritsuko trails behind.)
Ritsuko:
(mumbling) Save one of those for me
(Follow
the two as they run out of the hotel and charge towards the train station.)
(The
eight other teams board the train and it departs. Some, like Yukino and Gary
are very pleased with the development. Others, like Tomoyo, are less so.)
Tomoyo: (VO) Misato and Ritsuko didnt make the train to Tokyo for some
reason. Its very unfortunate, and Im a little worried about them. I suppose I
should be happy since it means were less likely to be eliminated, but its sad
to see someone lose like that.
Spike:
Good riddance. Its one less team to worry about. I wont miss them, thats for
sure.
(Misato
& Ritsuko arrive to see that they have in fact missed the train. Misato
curses a little while Ritsuko simply fumes quietly in a corner.)
Ritsuko: (VO) Because of Misato, we missed the train. Its simply
unacceptable. This is hard enough without these type of unforced errors. I
honestly dont know if we will be able to catch up.
(Misato
heads up to the ticket counter. Ritsuko is behind her, but not speaking.)
Misato:
We missed the train. Whens the next one?
Clerk:
What kind of train is it? If you want to use those tickets, it has to be the
same type of train.
Misato:
Here!
(The
clerk looks at the tickets. Misato turns back to Ritsuko.)
Misato:
What?
Ritsuko:
(confused) I didnt say anything.
Clerk:
So do you want on the next Hikari train?
Misato:
Hikari train, Toji train, Kensuke train, just get us on something!!
Clerk:
Okay next Hikari leaves at 6:53.
(Misato
sighs as she takes the tickets.)
Misato:
So now were on a train that arrives forty minutes later. Wed been doing so
well, and suddenly we hit this kind of obstacle. Ritsuko seems to think this is
my fault for some reason, but that kind of attitude wont help. Were in this
as a team, and we succeed together and fail together. Pointing fingers and
assigning blame isnt going to help!
(Mass
chaotic transportation sequence time! The train arrives in the crowded Tokyo
station and eight teams barrel out to either look for taxis, or find the
shuttle Arima was talking about. Takato & Henry, Sakura & Tomoyo, and
Syaoran & Meiling use their small sizes to squeeze through the masses and
get outside.)
Takato: (VO) We spent two and a half hours on the train chatting with Gary
and Sam. Not once did an alliance come up. So we assumed that we werent
working together anymore. As soon as we got into Tokyo we were flying out of
that station. Were werent turning back.
(The
three teams are the first to get into taxis. Sakura and Tomoyo enter theirs.)
[SAKURA & TOMOYO- Currently in 2nd Place]
Sakura: Magical Land please!
(The
cab takes off behind Takato and Henry. Sakura smiles at Tomoyo.)
Sakura:
Sometimes being a little kid helps out!
(Tomoyo
says nothing, and smiles brightly.)
(Yukino
& Arima are running in a different direction, followed closely by Ash &
Brock and Kiyone & Mihoshi.)
Arima:
Its around here somewhere!
Yukino:
Okay!
Arima:
(VO) I managed to convince Yukino to take the bus. It just made sense at this
point, although it took forever to get her to see it that way.
(They
arrive at the bus, which is just about to leave. All three teams barely make it
on.)
Ash: (VO) Brock finding out about the bus was a lucky break for us. It was a
lot cheaper than a taxi. Also, with the NERV girls still stuck in Kyoto, we
dont have to worry about being eliminated.
(Spike
& Jet and Gary & Samuel get into their cabs.)
[GARY & SAMUEL- Currently in 5th Place]
Samuel: Did you see where they went?
Gary:
They got ahead of us. They were off and running before we could even move.
Gary:
After splitting the hotel room, I thought we had an alliance going! Then Takato
& Henry leave us in the dust as soon as we get to the station. They ought
to know better than to try to stab me and Grandpa in the back.
(Inside
Spike & Jets cab, Jet is looking backwards as Spike faces forward, looking
miserable.)
[SPIKE & JET- Currently in 4th Place]
Jet: Well, were ahead of the Oaks. Although you know, I could have sworn that I
saw a bus back there that said it was going to Magical Land.
(Jet
shakes his head.)
Jet:
I must be getting old.
(On
the bus, Yukino, Brock and Ash are both upfront, watching the view ahead of
them. They spot a cab.)
Brock:
Looks like Gary and Professor Oak are ahead of us.
Ash
/ Yukino: Dammit!
(Behind
them, Kiyone & Mihoshi are seated. Mihoshi is quite relaxed, while Kiyone
is trying to be.)
Kiyone: (VO) We found out about the shuttle after talking to some tourists
on the train. It was a tough call. We didnt have much luck last time we took a
bus. But I think that since Misato and Ritsuko are so far behind, its better
to save money.
Mihoshi:
We arent going to be eliminated, so why worry?
(The
front three cabs all arrive at the gates of Magical Land. Takato & Henry
enter first, followed by Sakura & Tomoyo and Syaoran & Meiling. Takato &
Henry rush into the park immediately. Syaoran, Meiling, and Sakura are about
to, when they stop and wait for Tomoyo. Tomoyo calmly walks up to the large map
posted.)
Sakura:
Tomoyo what are you doing?
Tomoyo:
Im looking for the Anaconda ride. Ah! Here it is, at the back of the park.
Meiling:
Great- we run like hell now?
Tomoyo:
Of course!
(They
uh you know.)
(The
cabs of Spike & Jet and Gary & Samuel arrive, immediately followed by
the bus. The five teams rush into the park. Gary & Samuel, Kiyone & Mihoshi,
and Ash & Brock rush in with no issues. Arima has the foresight to consult
the map. Jet and Spike walk inside a little slower.)
Jet:
Guess wed better hurry.
Spike:
I hate amusement parks
(The
good directions have paid off, as Sakura & Tomoyo are the first to arrive
at the route marker. Sakura yells towards her allies.)
[SAKURA & TOMOYO- Currently in 1st Place]
Sakura: Li! Meiling! Its over here!
(Syaoran
and Meiling rush over as Tomoyo rips open the clue.)
Tomoyo:
Find the home of Minamo Kurosawa at the address below.
Sakura:
Okay! Lets get going!
(Sakura
and Tomoyo leave, with Syaoran & Meiling following soon afterwards.)
(Rapid
shots of the taxi heading to a typical Tokyo apartment. Yomi is standing
outside.)
Yomi: Teams must now find their way here- to the apartment of gym teacher Nyamo
Kurosawa. To get here, teams will need to deduce the location based on the
address given in the clue.
(Misato
& Ritsukos train finally arrives at the station. The two waste no time.
Misato bullies her way through the crowds, shoving people as need be.)
[MISATO & RITSUKO- Currently in Last Place]
Misato: (VO) We didnt have time to lose. This is our mountain to climb, and
we were determined to climb it if it killed us. First place be damned, all we
needed to do was beat one team.
(They
jump into a taxi and drive off.)
(Takato
and Henry arrive at the route marker, read the clue and run off.)
[TAKATO & HENRY- Currently in 3rd Place]
Takato: So where is this place?
Henry:
I know the general vicinity. We can ask around when we get there.
(They
look over and see Gary and Samuel running on a path perpendicular to them. They
seem to be running away from the route marker.)
Henry:
Jeez, they are lost.
(The
Tamers turn around and see Yukino and Arima reaching the route marker.)
Takato:
Well, we can either give up our position and help them, or we can try to catch
up to the Cardcaptors.
Henry:
Right. Lets go.
(They
head for the exit.)
Henry:
Before when we were working with Gary and Sam there was nothing at stake. But
if we were to stop and point in the right direction, I knew that other teams
would get ahead of us. We couldnt take that chance.
(Outside,
the Cardcaptors are discussing a quick strategy while piling their luggage into
taxis.)
Tomoyo:
I have a map of the city so I should be able to find it.
Meiling:
Okay, so we follow you!
(They
both get into the cabs and drive off.)
Meiling:
They may slow us down when it comes to challenges. Kinomoto and Daidouji cant
compare with Syaoran and I head to head! But for travel, especially around
here, it is nice to have them so we dont get lost.
(Kiyone
& Mihoshi are at the route marker, followed almost immediately by Ash &
Brock. Both read the clue and run off, trying to reach the exit and a cab
first.)
Mihoshi: (VO) Its hard to picture how hard this really is. It seems like
were always running up against somebody. One minute, its those cowboys, and
the next its Ash and Brock! Just when you get past one, another team is right
there to chase you.
(Spike
& Jet have their clue and are running for the taxi. They pass Gary &
Samuel.)
[GARY & SAMUEL- Currently in 8th Place]
Gary: Didnt we check over here?
Samuel:
There it is
(Both
look frustrated as Samuel takes the clue.)
Gary:
Cmon Grandpa, lets hurry it up.
Samuel:
Minamo Kurosawa at the address below. Okay
(They
rush off.)
Samuel:
You could say that we compliment each other well. But Gary tends to rush things
sometimes, while Im a bit slower. I dont like to run from location to location,
but it seems that thats all weve been doing since the race began.
(Sakura
& Tomoyo and Syaoran & Meiling arrive outside the address. Sakura and
Meiling both run to the route marker, with partners behind them. They open the
clue.)
Sakura:
Detour.
Meiling:
English Class or Gym Class.
(The
yellow Detour envelope is held out for the camera.)
Yomi: (OS) A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own
Tomo:
(OS, interrupting) BOO!!
(Now
Yomi is standing in front of Kurosawas apartment, looking annoyed as Tomo
walks in. Tomo is annoying, stupid, fiercely competitive, but absolutely inept
at everything she does. She and Yomi are best friends!)
Yomi:
What do you want?
Tomo:
Ill take over from here, okay Yomi?
Yomi:
Im supposed to do this. I have to explain the Detour.
Tomo:
But why would anyone want to see a tubbo like you do it when they can see a
suave, smart, sexy lady like me do it!
Yomi:
You are neither suave, smart, nor
Tomo:
Yomi! I challenge you to a Detour explanation face-off!!
(Yomi
sighs, then gives in. Tomo yanks the clue away. Tomo studies it then tears it
to pieces and throws it up in the air.)
Tomo:
In Old School, teams line up in front of a boulder as Motoko practices a a
(Tomo
turns to Yomi.)
Tomo:
Whos Motoko?
Yomi:
(angry) That card was a leftover from a previous episode!!
Tomo:
Oh due to equipment problems well call it a draw!
(Shot
of their English teacher Yukari Tanizaki and her banged up piece of scrap metal
she calls a car.)
Yomi: (OS) Anyway, in English Class, teams need to get to the nearby swimming
pool by riding with our English teacher, Yukari-sensei. Her car can only hold
one team at a time, and her torrid, dangerous, and probably illegal driving
style has traumatized many of my friends.
(Shot
of the Gym teacher, Minamo Kurosawa, and a van.)
Yomi:
(OS) In Gym Class, teams can get to the pool with Gym teacher Kurosawa-sensei
in a rented van. The van can hold two teams, but since Nyamo follows the rules
of the road and follows the road itself it will take longer to get there.
(The
four kids see the two teachers standing out front. Yukari has a sinister
smile.)
Sakura:
(scared) Lets go with Kurosawa-sensei.
Syaoran:
(equally scared) Yeah that way we can ride together.
Meiling:
Youre not scared, are you Syaoran?
Syaoran:
Uh no?
(Miss
Kurosawa, aka Nyamo-chan, opens the door.)
Nyamo:
You made the right decision trust me.
(They
pile in and head out.)
(Back
at Magical Land, Misato reads the clue while Ritsuko takes a breather. Both are
tired.)
Misato:
Find the home of Minamo Kurosawa at the address below. Time to go!
(Misato
sucks it up and starts running. Ritsuko walks.)
Misato:
Come on Ritsuko!! You can do this! You cant quit now.
(Ritsuko
forces herself to start running.)
(Takato
and Henry read the Detour description.)
Henry:
Well, we have English here now. I guess the Cardcaptors took the other one.
Takato:
Its faster, its here I dont see what the problem is.
(Yukari
smiles evilly as the two enter her car.)
Takato:
You know where youre going right?
Yukari:
Heh heh heh
(She
floors it. Takato and Henry start screaming.)
--
(Inside
the van, Nyamo sees Yukari coming up behind her.)
Nyamo:
Oh boy.
(Yukari,
as always, is driving like a mad woman. Takato and Henry are barely holding it
together.)
Henry:
I know were in a race, but you dont have to go this fast!
Yukari:
Hold on I have to talk to Nyamo-chan!
(She
veers over into the other lane of traffic, sticks on the cruise control, and
goes over to the other side of the car and rolls down the window as they reach
the van.)
Yukari:
Hey!! Nyamo-chan!!
Takato:
Could you please keep your hands on the steering wheel?!
(Yukari
looks at Takato, annoyed.)
Yukari:
Fine, fine Ill do it another way.
(Yukari
returns to the wheel. Takato breathes a sigh of relief until Yukari turns the
wheels and does a full 180. Takato and Henry are about ready to throw up.
Yukari sticks it in reverse, and floors it once more to reach the van again.
Keep in mind that they are still on the wrong side of the road! Yukari rolls
down the window.)
Yukari:
Hey!! Nyamo-chan!!
(Nyamo
rolls down her window.)
Nyamo:
Yes?
Yukari:
If you keep driving like that, youll never win the Barbecue Cup!!
Nyamo:
Barbecue Cup?
Yukari:
Yeah! Loser has to treat the winner to Korean barbecue!!
Nyamo:
I wasnt aware of that!!
(All
this time, motorists in Yukaris lane are veering madly off the road to dodge
the car, stuck in reverse.)
Yukari:
BARBECUE!!
(Yukari
passes Nyamo, and spins around again, now going forward. She remains in the
wrong lane, however.)
(Yukino
& Arima see that both vehicles are gone, and discuss their options.)
[YUKINO & ARIMA- Currently in 4th Place]
Yukino: English is faster. I dont see the downside.
(Arima
nods in agreement.)
Arima:
For the first two Detours, we ended up taking the slower options. But now that
we took the bus and may have lost a couple spots, we cant afford to take the
slow ones anymore. Besides, how bad can it be?
(Outside
the swimming pool, the car doesnt even stop completely. Takato & Henry
basically fall out of it. Yukari-sensei turns it around and drives back.)
Takato:
I dont feel so good
Henry:
Just, uh sit down over there and Ill get the clue.
(Takato
rests by the side of the facility, next to a scary-looking man staring at the
pool through the gates with his mouth hanging open. Henry heads for the route
marker just inside. Henry takes the clue back to Takato, who is still sick.)
Henry:
Walk to the nearby high school, and find the route marker inside classroom 1-3.
(Takato
runs off to throw up somewhere.)
(Rapid
shots into the high school, and to classroom 1-3. Our new host is Ayumu Kasuga.
Even though she does not act anything like the typical Osakan, she is a
transfer student from Osaka, and therefore has earned the nickname Osaka. She
doesnt naturally speak with much of the accent, but her friends make her use
it because its cool.)
Osaka: (VO, to herself) Get it together, get it together, get it together
(Osaka
now begins.)
Osaka:
(VO) Teams have to walk to high school an find our first year classroom.
Inside they could sit down and take a nap. You know those desks are actually
pretty comfy when you sit down in em. But when you stand on em, theyre not
as comfy. But then why does Yukari-sensei make us sit down, when were gonna
take naps? And then she gets mad whenever we fall asleep. Its a mystery.
(Yukari
takes off with her next set of victims as a pair of cabs enter the scene. Ash
& Brock exit one while Kiyone & Mihoshi exit the second. Both rush to
the clue box. Ash reaches it first, tears it open, and reads it aloud. Mihoshi
gets a clue immediately afterwards and she and Kiyone read it.)
[KIYONE & MIHOSHI / ASH & BROCK- Tied in 5th Place]
Ash: Detour English Class or Gym Class
(A
second after scanning it, Kiyone shouts.)
Kiyone:
We have English first!!
Ash:
What??
(Ash
finishes reading the clue.)
Ash:
Wait a minute! Thats not fair!!
Kiyone:
What do you mean? We called it first, we get it first!
Ash:
But we got the clue first!!
Kiyone:
It doesnt matter! Its about who reserves it first. For all we knew, you were
going to take the other one!
(Ash
is incredibly irate.)
Ash:
Why would we take the other one?
Kiyone:
Im not one to analyze the strategies of my opponents.
(Ash
turns to Brock, still reading the clue.)
Ash:
Brock, help me out here!
Brock:
Im sorry Ash, arguing with two lovely ladies like this goes against my
religion. Consider me completely out of this argument.
(Ash
sweatdrops, then turns to Kiyone.)
Ash:
We got here first!
Kiyone:
Show me where in the rule book that says reaching into the box first somehow
equates to priority in the Detour. We called it we get it.
Mihoshi:
Hey- why are we all fighting? Why dont we just take the other one that fits
two teams?
Kiyone:
Because its slower!
Mihoshi:
Not necessarily- its coming right now!
(They
look over and see Nyamo-chan making the return trip.)
Mihoshi:
(OS) Now we can leave sooner, and we can all go together!
Brock:
Yes!!
(Brock
leaps over to Mihoshi and puts an arm around her shoulder.)
Ash:
(sotto) I thought you said you were staying out of this
Brock:
Finally, somebody is stepping in to silence all this nonsense. We can travel
together, and not have to worry about arguing! Lets all listen to Mihoshi! In
fact, we should all listen to Mihoshi more often!
Mihoshi:
(embarrassed) Oh my
(Ash
and Kiyone reluctantly agree and Nyamo takes off.)
Kiyone: (VO) Well never know if going English would have been faster. I
guess it works out okay. I really want to do well in this race, and with a
partner like Mihoshi, I have to seize every opportunity to do so. I guess I can
get a little overzealous.
(On
route to the school, Takato is still a little wobbly. Henry is trying to keep
Takato from collapsing.)
Henry: Hang in there Takato, were almost there.
Takato:
And then what another car trip?
Henry:
Uh
Takato:
(dazed) No Miss Yukari please slow down
(Sakura,
Tomoyo, Syaoran, and Meiling surpass them.)
Henry:
Takato, teams are starting to get ahead of us- youve got to fight!
Takato:
(woozy) Theyre already past us Miss Yukari dont try to catch up to that
motorcycle gang!
Henry:
(looking back) Well just as long as nobody else gets ahead.
(Behind
them at the pool, Yukino has the clue, and is now carefully eying the
scary-looking man. He raises his hand.)
Mr.
Kimura: Have the Road Block at the pool so you can wear your swimsuit!!!
(Before
Yukino can smite him, Arima walks into view, clutching his stomach.)
Arima:
Yukino I dont feel so good.
(Spike
& Jet are waiting for the deathmobile as Gary & Samuel arrive. Gary
retrieves the clue.)
Gary: Detour- English Class or Gym Class
Jet:
(OS) For the record, we have English reserved.
(Gary
reads through the clue.)
Gary:
Shoot.
(Yukari
shows up, and pops her head out of the window, smiling cheerfully.)
Yukari:
(chipper) So- whos next?
Spike:
I guess thats us.
(They
enter the car.)
Spike:
(OS) So whats your definition of torrid and dangerous?
(Yukari
goes forward in the wrong direction, and does donuts until she spins around in
the right direction. She drives forward, almost running over Gary & Samuel.
Samuel folds his arms.)
Samuel:
So what now?
Gary:
The question is how long before the other one gets here.
Samuel:
I think the more pressing question is how long before the NERV girls get here.
Gary:
Hopefully theyre way behind us right now. Theyd better get eliminated this
time.
Samuel:
That would be a shame that Ritsuko is one fine lady.
Gary:
(disgusted) Grandpa!!
(Sakura
& Tomoyo and Syaoran & Meiling arrive at the high school. They run into
the classroom.)
[SAKURA & TOMOYO / SYAORAN & MEILING- Currently Tied in First Place]
Meiling: There it is!
(Sakura
and Syaoran go after it, grabbing and ripping open clues simultaneously. Off in
the far corner, Osaka is sleeping in a desk.)
Sakura
/ Syaoran: Road Block.
Sakura:
This person has to look cute
(Tomoyo
squeals offscreen.)
(The
red Road Block envelope is held out by a mysterious orange arm. If anyone asks,
its Chiyos father.)
Meiling: (VO) Hey! Wake up!
Osaka:
(VO) Huh oh a Road Block is a task that only one person can do.
(Shot
of cute blue penguin costumes of various sizes, and Osaka standing in front of
them.)
Osaka:
In this Road Block, that players gotta dress up in a penguin suit. Hey, it
kinda looks like the one Chiyo-chan used for our cultural festival one year!
But wheres the cat costume that we did the first year? Poor kitty
(Rapid
shots down the hallways, and up stairs to a stand on the third floor where two
girls are selling takoyaki. A clueless Osaka starts singing the ending theme to
Kare Kano.)
Osaka:
(VO) Sagashi mono wa nan desu ka? Ah! Once in the penguin suit, theyve gotta
go up the stairs to our third year classroom, where Sakaki and Kaorin will give
them some takoyaki. Its a must at any cultural festival to eat takoyaki!! They
must take the takoyaki back to the start and eat it with help from their
teammate if necessary. Ill give them the clue when they finish.
(Downstairs,
Sakura is sweatdropping as Tomoyo dances with the penguin costume.)
Sakura:
Hoe do I even have to ask who should do it?
(She
opens the card.)
(Yukari
deposits Spike and Jet. Jets slightly woozy, but Spike is fine.)
Spike:
Wheres the challenge in that?
(Jet
gets the clue.)
Spike: (VO) Maybe its just me, but these challenges havent really been all
that challenging. Ride a car with a nutcase? Thats nothing I cant handle. If
I can survive Ed being on the Bebop, I can survive Yukari.
(The
van arrives at the Detour. Gary and Samuel ponder their options.)
[GARY & SAMUEL- Currently in 8th Place]
Nyamo: Are you two coming aboard?
Samuel:
Hold on! Were thinking about it.
(Gary
and Samuel hold a private conversation)
Gary:
I dont know. Thats the slow one isnt it?
Samuel:
It also holds two teams. Would we have to wait for Misato & Ritsuko?
Gary:
If we dont go then Misato & Ritsuko can leave immediately, while were
still stuck here waiting for the English car.
Samuel:
So should we do it?
Gary:
Better not take chances.
(They
both get into Nyamos car.)
Nyamo:
Now I should wait and see if any other teams going to show up.
Gary:
No!
Nyamo:
No?
Samuel:
What Garys trying to say is that the two teams behind us missed the train from
Kyoto. Theyre probably hours behind.
Gary:
Yeah- Im sure youll be there and back before they even get to the amusement
park!
Nyamo:
Okay if you say so.
Samuel:
Thank you Miss Kurosawa!
(Nyamo
pulls out.)
(Sakura
and Meiling are now donned in their penguin suits and walk off. Meiling takes
two steps and falls down.)
Sakura:
Meiling! Are you all right?
Meiling:
Just getting the hang of it Im not used to gaudy costumes unlike some
people.
(Sakura
helps Meiling up and they continue along. Behind them, Tomoyo is exhilarated as
she films Sakura, while Syaoran just stands there blushing.)
Syaoran:
So very cute
(Takato
& Henry arrive. Takato is still ill, so he sits down immediately as Henry
retrieves the clue. Henry walks over to Takato.)
Henry:
Its a Road Block. Want me to do it?
Takato:
Could you? Please?
Tomoyo:
Ah!! Youre in the shot!
(Henry
looks at Tomoyo, then jumps out of the way.)
(Finally,
Misato & Ritsuko arrive. Unfortunately, there arent any cars available.
Misato gets the clue and skims it over.)
Misato: Huh says theres supposed to be cars to take us somewhere.
(Misato
and Ritsuko look around. Nothing.)
Ritsuko:
I spot a minor flaw with this
--
(Misato
is growing impatient. Ritsuko is standing with her arms folded, also impatient.
They hear a car on the horizon. Misato stands up.)
Misato:
Is that is that
(Yukari
pulls up and pops her head out.)
Yukari:
(annoyed) Let me guess, now you need a ride?
(Ritsuko
doesnt answer, she just gets in.)
Misato:
Yes! And youd better go fast too.
(Misato
gets in.)
Yukari:
Fast??
(Misato
nods angrily. Yukari smiles.)
Yukari:
Man, you guys are bossy
Misato:
Look we need to
(Yukari
not only floors it, but somehow, probably by the power of Chiyos father, she
actually reaches speeds faster than she was going before.)
Misato:
You call this driving?? Move!!
(Amazingly,
they reach the line at the same time as Gary and Samuel. Misato races Gary to
the route marker, beating him by a fraction of a second. Gary brings the clue
back to Samuel.)
Samuel:
Unbelievable
Gary:
Well believe it Grandpa, lets move!
(While
Gary and Samuel run to the school, Misato reads the clue over, then runs over
to Ritsuko, still in the car, dazed. Misato helps her out.)
Misato:
Ritsuko! We did it! Were almost caught up! Say something!
Ritsuko:
In order to retrieve Shinji from the primordial soup, we must replace it with
Campbells Cream of Mushroom
(Misato
starts to drag Ritsuko as Yukari gets out of the car.)
Misato:
Thanks a bunch!!
Yukari:
Yeah! Well have to go get a drink sometime!!
Misato:
Youre on!!
(Up
on the third floor, Sakaki and Kaorin are waiting at a booth. Sakaki is a very
quiet and cool teen, with the build to prove it. Kaorin meanwhile is a blushing
fangirl.)
Kaorin:
(nervous) Um Sakaki...?
Sakaki:
Hm?
(The
mere voice of Sakaki makes Kaorin blush even more, and makes her more nervous.)
Kaorin:
Its its nice working with you!!
(Kaorin
closes her eyes, waiting for Third Impact.)
Sakaki:
(neutral, but sincere) Yeah.
(Kaorin
opens her eyes and starts fantasizing. She eventually faints.)
Sakura:
(OS) Um I need takoyaki.
(Sakaki
stares at Sakura. One look at Kinomoto in the penguin suit and Sakaki begins to
blush as well. She slowly hands over the takoyaki on a toothpick. Sakura takes
it and smiles.)
Sakaki:
So cute
(Sakura
begins waddling back, still smiling cheerfully.)
(Downstairs,
Yukino is getting into her penguin suit, while Arima remains seated by Takato.
Syaoran and Tomoyo remain in wait for their partners. Osaka remains in wait as
well but what shes waiting for is anyones guess.)
Yukino: (VO) Arima wasnt feeling well, so I did the Road Block. Not that it
matters, this kind of thing is where I excel at. After years of watching my
sisters take over the throne, its time that I reclaim my title as cutest in
the family! And it starts here!
(Yukino
takes two steps and falls flat on her face.)
Yukino:
(muffled) Tomoyo-chan did you get that on tape?
Tomoyo:
Every second!
Yukino:
Damn you.
(Back
upstairs, Henry remains focused as he scales the stairs on his way to the
takoyaki stand. He is keeping a good pace.)
Henry:
One, two, one, two
(He
gets his takoyaki right after Meiling. However, Meiling trips soon afterwards.
Henry doesnt watch where hes going and trips over Meiling. Meiling, using
some skilled maneuver, gets back up only to trip over Henry. Henry too manages
to get up but trips over Meiling. This process repeats for awhile, while
Sakaki blushes at the whole site.)
Sakaki:
So very cute
Meiling:
That costume was hard to move around in! Whats even more humiliating about
that whole ordeal is that Henry and I both study martial arts!!
(Ash
is fitting into his penguin suit, struggling with it a lot. Meanwhile, Mihoshi
and Kiyone are arguing.)
Mihoshi:
Please please please please please!
Kiyone:
(relenting) All right! You can do one!
(Soon
afterwards, Mihoshi is struggling with her suit while Ash begins his journey.
Tomoyo videotapes Mihoshi.)
Brock:
(eager) Uh Tomoyo can I have a copy of that tape?
(Before
Tomoyo can respond, Mr. Kimura pops in from out of nowhere.)
Mr.
Kimura: (loud) Can I have one too??
(Kiyone
shoves him out of the picture.)
Kiyone:
Sorry, but Im officially restraining you. You are not to come within fifty
feet of Tomoyo. Understand?
(Mr.
Kimura starts crying. Seriously crying.)
Mr.
Kimura: (sad) Not even when shes in her school uniform?
(Yukino
collects her takoyaki from a fairly neutral Sakaki and Kaorin.)
Tomoyo: (VO) Its a shame that I cant follow Sakura as she performs the
Road Blocks to the best of her ability. But at least I can tape everybody else
as they perform them as well. As long as everybody remembers that Sakura-chan
will always be the star of my show.
(On
the second floor, theres a massive pileup as Ash and Mihoshi are heading one
direction and Henry and Meiling are heading in another. Four penguins are soon
on the floor. Henry and Meiling manage to get up and walk away.)
Meiling:
This is starting to get annoying
(Ash
and Mihoshi, however, have problems)
Mihoshi:
Uh uh Im stuck! Are you stuck?
Ash:
Im stuck too
(Ash
and Mihoshi eventually work together to get themselves back on their feet.)
Ash:
(VO) It was embarrassing. It was really, really embarrassing. We were walking
around a school in a penguin suit. Id rather be back with psycho kendo girl.
(Spike
& Jet are having a lengthy argument about who should do this one, while
Kiyone watches, smiling, and Tomoyo shoots video. Finally, they reach an
agreement.)
Brock:
Im thinking of a number between one and twenty.
Spike:
Eight.
Jet:
Thirteen.
(Brock
hands the card to Spike.)
Brock:
Its sixteen. Have fun Spike.
(Spike
shakes his head, reads the clue, shakes his head again and walks to the suits.)
Spike:
Next time we play cards
(While
hes off doing that, Sakura makes her return. Her takoyaki is in hand.)
Osaka:
Eat it up!
(Sakura
tries to but she cant reach her mouth.)
Sakura:
Uh hoe?
Syaoran:
Now I see why it says you can get help.
Sakura:
Tomoyo-chan??
Tomoyo:
(OS) Cant. Taping. Have Li do it.
(Syaoran
walks over, takes the takoyaki, and slowly guides it towards Sakuras mouth.
She reaches over and eats it, then jumps in the air in celebration. Meanwhile,
the onlookers, except Jet, are almost hypnotized.)
Takato
/ Arima / Brock / Kiyone: So cute
Sakura:
Lets go Tomoyo! Tomoyo?
(It
was apparently a little too cute for Tomoyo, as she has collapsed in euphoria.)
Syaoran:
Get out of the suit. Ill help her up.
Sakura:
Okay!
(Syaoran
helps Tomoyo up while Sakura gets out of the costume. Spike is long gone.)
Takato:
(VO) I think seeing that magically healed Arima and I. That was the cutest
thing I have ever seen. Calumons grotesque compared to that.
(Tomoyo
is back up.)
Tomoyo:
So what now?
(Osaka
mechanically raises an arm with the clue.)
Tomoyo: Oh right. Lets read it outside.
Sakura:
Li?
Syaoran:
Go on ahead, well be right behind you.
(Sakura
takes it and they run to the outside of the classroom as the final two teams
race in. Sakura rips open the clue.)
Sakura:
Drive yourselves to the Pit Stop- Chiyo Mihamas summer house. The last team to
arrive will be eliminated.
(Shot
of a row of jeeps parked along the school. The final host for this episode is
Chiyo Mihama herself- eleven year old prodigy and the original penguin suit
wearer.)
Chiyo: (VO) Teams must take one of the provided jeeps and drive all the way to
my summer house, the Pit Stop for this leg of
the race! For teams that dont have anyone that can drive, a grown-up friend
will be there to help them. The only catch is that both players must stay
awake, and one player must do all the navigating.
(Samuel
and Misato reach the route marker. Misato returns to Ritsuko, who has
recovered.)
Misato:
Road Block
(They
spy Henry returning in the penguin suit.)
Ritsuko:
Yours.
Misato:
Oh yeah.
(Sakura
and Tomoyo reach their jeep. Inside is Sakuras father, Fujitaka.)
Fujitaka:
Hello Sakura, Tomoyo.
Sakura:
Daddy!
(Sakura
gives him a quick hug. Tomoyo smiles brightly.)
Tomoyo:
Ill navigate so you can worry about talking with your father.
Sakura:
Mm!
(They
get into the car, Sakura still cheery.)
Sakura:
This leg was so much fun! I got to go to an amusement park, I got to be a
penguin, I met Miss Kurosawa whos really nice, and I got to spend time with
Dad! Hanyan
(Misato
and Gary are still getting used to the suit.)
Gary:
(VO) That suit was really hard to move around in. It was really heavy!
(Misato
attempts chanting as Meiling passes them to complete the course.)
Misato:
Think Pen-Pen, think Pen-Pen, think Pen-Pen
(Outside,
Takato and Henry are greeting Henrys father as their driver.)
Janyuu:
So where to?
Henry:
Ill show you. Well do the emotional stuff while were driving.
(Syaoran
and Meiling also reach their jeep soon afterwards. Inside is their butler,
Wei.)
Wei:
Where to today Master Syaoran?
Syaoran:
Chiyos house.
Meiling:
Well have to show you where it is.
(They
take off soon after Takato and Henry.)
Syaoran:
(VO) I like having Wei on the trip. Hes a longtime friend of the family and I
trust him like a father.
(Back
inside, Misato is receiving her takoyaki, still chanting.)
Misato: Think Pen-Pen, think Pen-Pen, think Pen-Pen
(Yukino
& Arima are gone. Ash eats his takoyaki while Brock receives the clue from
Osaka. Meanwhile, Ritsuko is chatting with Samuel.)
Samuel:
Very unusual challenge, dont you think?
Ritsuko:
Perhaps, but it could work to our advantage. Misato has a pet penguin.
(Ritsuko
looks down. Osaka is staring back up at her, with her standard dazed look.
Ritsuko takes it to mean confusion, demanding clarification.)
Ritsuko:
Pen-Pen is a hot springs penguin.
Osaka:
Ah! Did you know the hot springs penguin is related to the hot springs turtle?
(Ritsuko
looks down for a moment, then she and Samuel look at Osaka with interest.)
Ritsuko:
Really?
Osaka:
Yeah. You see
(Ritsuko
and Samuel lean in closer.)
(Misato
has now passed Spike on the path. She really has a feel for it.)
Misato:
Be Pen-Pen! Be Pen-Pen! Be Pen-Pen!
(Osaka
has Samuel and Ritsuko in her spell.)
Osaka:
And because of the relation to the bird family, thats why hot springs turtles
can fly!
(Mihoshi
arrives, so Kiyone comes to get her clue. Osaka rotates, seemingly without
moving her feet, towards Kiyone. Her hand shoots up automatically with the
clue. A freaked out Kiyone takes it. After getting the costume off, Mihoshi and
Kiyone leave.)
Ritsuko:
Hold on. You say the hot spring turtles connection to the penguin gives them
the ability to fly. But penguins cant fly.
Osaka:
Hmm
(Osaka
thinks for what seems like three minutes.)
Osaka:
They can if they have a valid passport!
(Massive
sweatdrop. Misato jumps into the frame, throws her takoyaki into the air,
catches it with her mouth, and swallows it.)
Misato:
WE ARE TEAM PEN-PEN!!
(Samuel
and Ritsuko are too far gone to react. Osaka, however, raises her hands.)
Osaka:
(meekly) Hooray
(Misato
makes conversation as she takes the suit off.)
Misato:
So Ritsuko, what did you do while I was gone?
Ritsuko:
(vexed) I think I lost 20 IQ points.
(Misato
slings an arm around Ritsukos shoulder.)
Misato:
Eh, nothing Team Pen-Pen cant get past.
(Ritsuko
stares at Misato.)
Ritsuko:
Make that 30.
(Ash
& Brocks jeep leaves, driven by Delia Ketchum.)
[ASH & BROCK- Currently in 5th Place]
Brock: (VO) Its the waiting that kills you. It seemed like an eternity
waiting for Ash to get done. Even with the company of cute girls, its tough to
take sometimes.
(Kiyone
& Mihoshi run for their jeep soon after Ash & Brock leave.)
[KIYONE & MIHOSHI- Currently in 6th Place]
(Spike
has just gotten out of the suit and he and Jet are out the door as soon as Gary
arrives. He doesnt take long to get out of the suit. The chase is on.)
Jet: (VO) This wasnt our leg. Between all the cute stuff in here, its no
wonder we fell so far back. Now we can only hope the leg doesnt end up as our
undoing.
(Montage
of driving shots as all nine teams head for Chiyos summer house. Its
afternoon when the first jeep pulls up to the address. The house is pretty
large by Japanese standards. Chiyo is waiting in front of the house with her
dog, Tadakichi. Chiyo is a cute little eleven-year-old in pigtails. Tadakichi
is a white Great Pyrenees that is actually larger than Chiyo-chan. Next to
them, the route markers screen reads AZUMANGA DAIOH in large green letters,
and SUMMER HOUSE in small white letters. Anyway the first team arrives at
the Pit Stop mat. Chiyo smiles brightly.)
Chiyo: Sakura and Tomoyo youre team number one!!
(Sakura
and Tomoyo cant contain their excitement. Sakura grabs Tomoyos hands and
starts jumping around. Chiyo-chan continues to smile, until Sakura hugs her!
Tadakichi barks once. Tomoyo simply smiles and pets the dog.)
(Wei
is driving blissfully while Syaoran strains to read the map.)
[SYAORAN & MEILING- Currently in 3rd Place]
Meiling: Syaoran! Where are we?
Syaoran:
Hold on Im trying to find it.
Meiling:
I dont see Henry and Takato anywhere!
(Syaoran
reads the map.)
Meiling:
We really realized how much we like having Kinomoto and Daidouji helping.
Without them, we cant find a damn thing!
(Takato
and Henry check in.)
Henry:
You feeling better now?
Takato:
Yeah. Your Dads driving is a lot better than Miss Yukaris
(They
look down. Chiyo-chan is going into convulsions.)
Chiyo:
No Yukari-sensei dont thats a speed limit sign- not how many points you
get if you knock it over!!
Henry:
You okay?
(They
help Chiyo to her feet. She regains her composure.)
Chiyo:
(serious) Takato and Henry youre team number two.
(Takato
and Henry both smile, very pleased with the result.)
(Ritsuko
is holding on tight as Misato is driving very fast.)
Ritsuko:
Misato is this necessary?
Misato:
I am a kindred spirit with Miss Yukari! We must fight to the finish fight for
our position fight for our barbecue. For we are Team Pen-Pen!
Ritsuko:
We are not Team Pen-Pen!!
(Yukino
and Arima check in. Yukino is frowning.)
Chiyo:
Yukino and Arima, youre team number three.
Yukino:
Son of a
Arima:
Theres always next time Yukino.
(Pretty
soon after that, Syaoran and Meiling check in.)
Chiyo:
Syaoran and Meiling, youre team number four.
(Neither
smile, but both nod, accepting the position.)
(Meanwhile,
Delia is taking it at a nice leisurely pace. Kiyone & Mihoshi pass them.)
Ash:
Uh Mom were in a race you know
(Chiyo
smiles at the next team to arrive.)
Chiyo:
Misato and Ritsuko... youre team number five.
Misato:
For Team Pen-Pen, thats a victory.
(Ritsuko
slaps her forehead.)
Misato:
Hey, when you pass two teams on the road like that, you can call the team what
you want!
(On
a four lane highway, Spike & Jet and Gary & Samuel are neck and neck.
Gary is coaching his grandfather.)
Gary:
Youve got to step up here Grandpa. This is for elimination!
Samuel:
I know! Im trying!
(They
remain neck-and-neck.)
Samuel:
Its me against a pair of cowboys in an auto race! I know the odds are against
me, but Im doing this for Gary, and I dont want to let him down.
(Ash
& Brock check in.)
Chiyo: Ash and Brock youre team number six.
(And
soon after that, Kiyone & Mihoshi. Kiyone seems unhappy at Mihoshi.)
Chiyo:
Kiyone and Mihoshi youre team number seven.
Kiyone:
This is the last time I let you look at the map we dropped two spots!
(And
now the moment of truth. One jeep pulls into the parking area. The team
swiftly gets out of the car and grabs their things efficiently and Spike and
Jet walk briskly to the Pit Stop. Spike is muttering to himself.)
Spike:
I hate amusement parks I hate penguins and I still hate
Jet:
Women, kids, and dogs, I remember.
(They
hop on the mat. They look down at cute little Chiyo-chan and Tadakichi.)
Spike:
Figures
Chiyo:
Spike and Jet youre team number eight.
Jet:
I dont care where we are, just as long as its not this anime
(And
finally, Gary and Samuel park the jeep, get their things and walk in. They take
their time. Gary seems humbled, while Samuel is actually more disappointed.)
Samuel:
Im sorry, Gary.
Gary:
Its okay, Grandpa. Hey, it was a fun trip, right?
Samuel:
Yes. Indeed.
(They
step on the mat. Chiyo is trying to be as serious as possible.)
Chiyo:
Gary and Samuel you are the last team to arrive.
(Gary
looks down and shakes his head.)
Chiyo:
Youve both been eliminated
(Chiyo
starts bawling. Gary puts a hand on Samuels shoulder.)
Gary:
Good work Grandpa.
Samuel:
You too Gary.
(They
step off the platform.)
Samuel:
It all came down to the drag race at the end, and I was just no match for Spike
and Jet when it came to the road. But it was still a great experience,
especially sharing it with Gary. Hes a great grandson, and this whole
adventure made me feel like I was his age again.
Gary:
Grandpa was great. He was just spectacular. Whenever I was the slightest bit
unsure of anything, he was right there. I thought that Id be dragging him
along through this race, but for every time I was pulling him, he was pulling
me through. If I was to pick a partner to do this with, it would be him every
single time.
End Episode Three
Authors
Notes
Go to website. Do contest now. Since
Azumanga Daioh hasnt been commercially released, if you choose this series as
your prize, Ill probably fork over the whole thing. Youll understand the
barbecue joke
Since episodes are only an hour long, I keep myself to a 25-26 page limit. That
means that like all reality series, some scenes occasionally get cut or edited
to save time. Its not too severe, but it explains the occasional gap. In this
case, Ash & Brock wandering Kyoto, Kiyone & Mihoshi getting lost en
route to the Pit Stop, and the Cardcaptors foray into checking into a hotel
room all were left out.
Tenshi means angel. I had the shots for the eat, sleep, and mingle with the
other teams line and had to figure out how to make them work when I got the
idea of doing Sanas rap. Anyone whos seen the real series will know how
monotonous it can get hearing the same spiel every episode. Its fun having
different characters offer their personal touch. Now I have to figure out how
Chiyos going to top Sana next week.
You better be glad I skipped all the pencil sketches, character analysis, and
other Anno trademarks because the episode where Yukino and Arima discuss sex is
rife with all three.
The joke with the under twelve line is that Takato and Henry are under twelve
in the Japanese version, but not in the American version.
Hikari. Yo. sounds similar to Gourry Gabrievs cry when he pulls out his
sword of light in Slayers- hikari o. And yes I know that Brock and Gourry
have the same English voice actor, but thats not necessarily the reference
since the dub features the less chilling light come forth.
Osakas right- there was an equally cute cat costume in Azumanga Daioh. Since
the series follows the girls through three years of high school, some events
occur every time, such as the annual trip to the summer house and the cultural
festival. I went with the penguin suit because its more recognizable. After
all, its in the opening.
Next Week on the Anime-zing Race:
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* A