Animation Survivor: Episode One

Key
(Stage Directions in parentheses indicate no speech is attached to them. There may be background music or sound though.)
[Stage Directions in brackets show action, with irrelevant speech associated. Screaming and other reactions may be there too.]
Italic speech indicates a one-on-one interview with the character. Shot is of that character alone unless otherwise indicated.

Episode Script:

Introduction-
(Tom Wallace appears on the island)

Tom: Hello and welcome. By now, everybody knows the basic rules of Survivor. Sixteen people fighting for one prize. However, the Animation guys, always ready for a cheap knockoff, have decided on doing it with a different concept- instead of sixteen people from a plethora of locations, we have sixteen worthy children from animation. And instead of randomly sticking them in two different teams, the teams mean a lot more. For the first time, it will be American animation versus Japanese animation. We have three popular shows from America taking on three shows from Japan that are popular in America. These are Americans watching you know, we can’t just throw "Fushigi Yuugi" in here and expect a reaction. They are currently on a ship, waiting to be sent to this specially crafted island. How is it specially crafted? Well, although it looks normal, the two different beaches are home to various different items. The beach the Americans are staying at are fitted with benefits and drawbacks from the Japanese side, and vice versa. And every so often, problems will arise from the other side. Whether an evil Digimon attacks the Americans or crazed cows go after the Japanese, they’ll have to overcome these little dilemmas. The challenges are the same, and Tribal Council is the same, but the rewards may be slightly altered a little. But I’m sure you are bored with me, so I’ll take you over to the ship where we can introduce the sixteen characters, and their six shows.
 

(Shot of the ship, and the sixteen, in six separate rooms divided by show. Manny Edwards is on board.)
Manny: Now, the shows haven’t merged yet. None will meet each other until they hop on those life rafts and shoot to their beaches. Let’s look at these shows one by one. First off, we have Digimon, with four of their Digi-Destined representing the Japanese tribe.

(He enters a room to find Tai, Matt, Sora, and Izzy.)

Manny: We’ve chosen these four to be with us today. Tai Kamiya, Sora Takenouchi, Matt Ishida, and Koushiro Izumi, better known as Izzy. We’ll go with that one from now on. Each has their own skills and abilities, but one thing I have to ask is this: you four have spent a long time with each other, and your positions on the Digi-Destined team are fairly solidified. But now four of your members, Joe, Mimi, T.K., and Kari are being replaced with four total strangers with different experiences. How is that going to change team positions?

Tai: Well, the biggest problem is what happens if another one of those four is used to being a leader, and how we either adapt or fall based on having multiple types. It took us forever to get the chinks out of our armor and settle into proper spots, and it’ll be interesting to see what kinds of people we are joined up with.

Matt: Another thing I’d like to add to that is that we also have the dilemma of voting people off. Not only do people have to fall in place, but we have to kick someone out of that place every three days. We’d have to fill in the positions they leave.

Manny: And that’s the Digimon team. I now go over to the other side of the ship and Barb Bresnick.

(Barb Bresnick is in a room with Bubbles, Blossom, and Buttercup.)
Barb: With six of the eight Japanese characters having experience saving the world, it’s necessary for the American side to have kids who can back that claim up as well. I’m with Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, the Powerpuff Girls, and although they are by far the youngest survivors here, they are definitely not to be counted out. Now girls, certainly, your powers give you a possible advantage over the competition, but what are your biggest concerns going into this?

Blossom: Well, I think that the physical issue doesn’t come into play, but the biggest apprehension I get is from the others spacing themselves apart from us because of our abilities. I want us to be friends rather than to form alliances and stuff.

Barb: Okay, Manny?

(Manny Edwards is with Ash, Misty and Tracey.)
Manny: I’m now with the three primary trainers from "Pokémon-" Misty, Tracey, and of course, Ash Ketchum. My question to you guys is that you have this new goal in front of you- survive for 39 days on a tropical island. How does that compare to your own individual goals and can you draw anything from those?

Ash: Well, I have a feeling this could be very close to our journey. By now, we learn how these things work. We’ll be very nervous in the beginning, and have trouble with stuff, but eventually, we learn the ropes. At least I hope so. The opening rounds of voting will be pretty interesting, but if we can survive those, we have a good chance.

(Barb is with Stan, Kyle, and Eric.)
Barb: Sure to liven the American tribe up is three of our South Park favorites, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, and Eric Cartman. Now, you three possibly have the least experience with these situations, how do you think you’ll adapt?

Eric: Well, first ah’ll…

Kyle: Cartman, let me handle this one. No, we’ve never come across this situation before, but I think we’ve shown that we can adapt to whatever we face, and this should be no different.

Barb: Okay.

(Manny is with Serena)
Manny: Possibly the oddest situation created by the selections is that the final show from Japan only has one representative. Serena, aka Sailor Moon, has surely shown that she can triumph over adversity, but the question remains- will the fact that you start off alone be a detriment to your chances?

Serena: No way! My first plan is to impress everybody with my survival skills, and become friends with them all so that they won’t vote me off. I can hold my own here, no doubt about it… this place has an ice cream stand, right?

Manny: (at the camera) Barb, why’d you want her over Sakura?

(Barb is with Bart and Lisa)
Barb: We needed the psychotic teenager demo. All of the anime team must be psychotic teenagers. Sakura is an paranoid pre-adolescent. Anyway, our final survivors are Simpsons Bart and Lisa. Kids, you’ve been through a lot together, but if the time came, and you felt it was necessary, would you vote one another off?

Bart: Well, I think we’re both going to pull our weight, and should be around for awhile. I think that if one of us needed to go, we’d be aware of that, and would understand if the other voted us off. At least I hope so.
 

(Manny is now in the center of the boat, where two life rafts await.)
Manny: Well, now comes the moment of truth. Each of the six rooms will be opened, and each of the sixteen survivors will get a chance to see each other face to face. Let’s do it.

(Barb flips a switch, and the doors open. All sixteen go out.)

[Quick Summary of Meeting-]
[South Park and Simpsons initially meet up.]
[Lisa looks ahead and goes towards PPG before they all mingle together.]
[Ash and Misty look at Digimon first, but Tracey looks at Serena. ]
[Digimon heads for Pokémon, but Sora goes to Serena. Then they all mingle.]

Tom: (VO) After brief introductions, the survivors are told that they have two minutes to put their things on the rafts and start heading out.

(In a montage of scenes, they do so, and each head out for the island.)

Day One- American Tribe
(Shot of the Americans landing on their beach. The Powerpuff Girls, as well as Stan and Lisa, do most of the pushing. Bart swims ahead, lands on the beach, and starts dancing around.)

Bart: (excited) Woo! Here we are, ready or not! USA! USA! USA!

[Lisa, Kyle, and Bubbles come in with a trademark Survivor Flag, but it is blue, and has an American flag in place of the picture of the island. Lisa, Kyle, Bubbles, and Bart put it into position.]

Bubbles: Bart seems so excited about this! It’s fun having that kind of attitude here, I’m starting to like him.

Buttercup: I don’t know about Bart. He’s psyched up enough for this but while he’s dancing around, we have serious work to do. We’ve got to build shelter, find some water, and a whole lot more. It’s great that he’s excited, but if we don’t start working, we’re going to fall behind.

(Shot of Bart and Eric watching Blossom and Buttercup build a lean-to.)
Eric: No, no, that’s not how you do it!

Bart: (jokingly) Yeah, Cartman’s never gonna fit under that.

Eric: Hey!

Buttercup: I don’t see you helping.

Bart: Well, what do you want me to do?

Blossom: For starters, hold this board while we tie it into place.

(Bart holds the board, then sticks his tongue out at Eric.)

Bart: See… I’m helping!

Eric: Well, I’m the supervisor, you three are the workers. You three work, I supervise.

(Buttercup giggles quietly. Bart smiles.)

Bart: (curious) Does that excuse work?

[Close up of Bart’s head, as a Caterpie (caterpillar-like Pokémon), descends on Bart’s shoulder. Bart looks at it, screams, and drops the board. As a result, most of the lean-to breaks down and a board flies and hits Eric in the head. Eric stumbles around, screaming, swearing, and threatening Bart. Blossom and Bart start laughing. Buttercup starts too, but quickly looks at Bart.]

Buttercup: What was that for?

Bart: (stifling laughter) Sorry, a bug thing was on my shoulder. I think it was one of those anime bugs Barb told us about.

Buttercup: Well, try to be more careful next time!

Bart: It was an accident, I swear it. Some weird bug thing showed up and I freaked. I’m usually not afraid of bugs, but that guy was different. Someone told me its name once. I don’t care. Rest assured, the war is not over between me and that bug.

Blossom: I believe Bart on this one. My sister freaks at bugs all the time. I guess the situation was actually pretty funny, the way he reacted to that thing, and Eric. I think he could work a little harder, but I can’t help but find him kinda funny.

(Shot of Blossom and Buttercup rebuilding the leanto.)

Japanese Tribe

(Shot of Matt and Misty, trying to layout a shelter, talking. We can’t hear what they are saying.)

Tai: (joking) Well, we’ve been here an hour, and Matt’s already arguing with the Pokémon guys!

(We now see Matt and Misty talking)
\Misty: Trust me, when high tide hits, it’ll just sweep everything away.

Matt: The tide is not going to go up this far, in fact, I think it’s at high tide now.

Ash: Basically, Misty wants to build the shelter farther inland, and Matt wants it close to the water. With all the bugs and snakes by the woods, I think Matt has a good point. This is a very clear beach, and we have plenty of room for a shelter. But I’m not going to speak out against Misty. I learned long ago that that is not a good idea.

(Back to Matt and Misty)

Matt: Tai, what do you think?

Tai: Don’t get me involved with this.

(Shot of Serena and Izzy, laying down, watching them. Sora walks up to them with a bowl.)

Tracey: I think the row over here took a lot out of Serena. She seemed like she was trying to impress us, and actually got a bit sick in the process. I think Izzy caught a bit of that as well. Meanwhile, Sora’s taken to playing nurse while they get better.

(Sora delivers the bowl to Serena, down from the illness.)
Serena: Thanks, Sora. I hope they don’t think I’m some sort of slacker. I’m really trying to help.

Sora: They know that, but you’re sick, you can’t help that.

Serena: It’s going to be tough here, since I don’t have any friends.

Sora: I don’t think that matters. You just have to make new ones. Like me, for starters.

Serena: Thanks, that means a lot.

[Serena is a little down from normal, due to the illness.]

Serena: Being sick’s great! I don’t have to do anything, and I’m getting sympathy from others. Sora’s been really nice to me. And with Izzy sick with me, it doesn’t look like I’m faking it. [coughs a few times] Although I wish I was.

Sora: Serena’s really nice. She’s just sick, and once she’s better, I’m sure she’ll be right in there with the rest of us. She was really worried about being alone here, so I comforted her by telling her that I wouldn’t ever vote to have her kicked off. I’m not sure whether I really meant it, but it made her feel a lot better, so I think I have to follow through on it.

(Shot very close to the woods, as Misty, followed by Tai, are looking around.)
Misty: See, what I want to do is put the camp right by the woods. That way, the trees give us a small canopy in case it rains, and the tide doesn’t bother us.

Tai: Actually, that’s a good point. Now maybe if we just cleared away…

Misty: Yeah.

[She turns, her back to the woods. They go through demonstrations of what they are going for, when Tai looks at Misty’s back.]

Tai: Uh, Misty? You’ve got a bug on your back.

(Misty begins to panic, then looks behind her. We see the giant beetle from the South Park episode "Rainforest Shmainforest." Misty freaks, and runs towards the beach, with the bug still riding on her back.)

[Shot of Ash and Tracey, playing cards, minding their own business. Misty runs past them, catching their attention. They turn, and see her dive into the ocean. They turn back and continue playing.]

(Shot of Matt, who walks up to the waterfront.)

Matt: Beachside?

(Shot of Misty, floating in the water, catching her breath.)

Misty: (angry) Fine!

(Time lapse of the sun setting. Night-vision shots of each team trying to get comfortable on the ground. Neither has their shelters established enough to provide serious aid.)
 

Day Two- American Tribe

Stan: Last night sucked. I don’t think I got a wink of sleep. It wasn’t just being outside, or the temperature… Cartman snores like a buzzsaw!

(Bart and Eric are in this interview together.)
Bart: We figured out that the next thing we need to do is get fire. We heard a lot of snakes and stuff around, and fire would scare them away.

Eric: (impersonating Beavis) Heh, heh, fire!

Bart: (joining in) Fire, yeah, fire! Fire’s cool!

[Both continue the act for a couple more seconds.]
 

(Buttercup and Blossom are staring over the lean-to)

Blossom: We really have to finish this tonight.

Buttercup: Aw, man, I’m tired. Can’t we have one of the guys do it?

Blossom: Well, we might be able to work something out. Besides, we also need to find some fresh water.

Lisa: It looks like Blossom and Buttercup are really taking charge of this group. They divided us all up into groups, which is a really smart thing to do, we all have our objectives. They are going out to find some fresh water...

(Shot of Blossom and Buttercup leaving, with buckets)

Lisa: …they put Stan and Kyle in charge of the lean-to until they get back.

(Shot of Stan and Kyle, picking up where the girls left off on the lean-to)

Lisa: And me, Bart, Bubbles, and Eric are in charge of fire.

(Shot of Bart and Eric, kneeling, trying to build a fire, unsuccessfully. Bubbles takes a piece of wood, and uses her eye-beam to fry it. Although it destroys the wood, no fire comes from it.)

Bart: Wow, clean cut. That’s pretty impressive.

Lisa: You know, if one of us had glasses, fire would be easy.

Bubbles: Yeah, but we don’t!

[Eric farts, and the other three react appropriately]

Bart: Well, if we can get one going, it’ll sure stay going with you around.

Bart: Cartman’s certainly a strange character. Everybody’s pretty aware that he doesn’t add much to the team, and doesn’t help out at all. And he definitely doesn’t belong here, especially with us. But yet, we all like him in our own way. Although he seems like an annoying pest, he’s always good for a laugh, and he’s so serious about himself that it’s funny.

Kyle: I’ve known Cartman for awhile, and it took me forever to get used to having him as a friend. But I’m amazed how quickly the others got used to him. He’s so in-your-face that he’s fun to have around.

(Shot of Cartman looking angry at Lisa, while Lisa unsuccessfully tries stifling laughter. Bart and Bubbles join in.)

Eric: I’m the only one trying to get fire around here! The others are all "Hey Eric, can you help us get fire here? Why not Lord Eric?" And it’s starting to piss me off!
 

Japanese Tribe

Tracey: None of us wear glasses, so I was a bit worried when it comes to getting fire. But leave it to Misty to solve the problem.

(Misty, Ash, Tai, and Tracey are huddled over the firewood, thinking.)
Misty: Ah hah! Yoink!

(Misty grabs Tai’s goggles, and holds them to the sun… while Tai is still wearing them.)

Tai: Uh, Misty, you can just take them off!

Misty: Just a sec…

[The firewood starts blazing. Ash and Tracey start cheering.]

Ash: Way to go Misty!

[Tai’s hair catches fire, and he screams and runs off.]

Matt: C’mon, we still have to build that shelter.

Sora: We’ve gotten two breaks today. One, of course, was Misty getting fire. That goes without saying. But another was with Izzy. He was feeling a lot better today, and was jogging around, trying to shake off the rest of whatever he was down with. Just so happens he came across a hot spring.

(Shot of Izzy jogging slowly through the woods and stops at the hot spring. He is alone, but talks anyway.)

Izzy: Yeah, I saw this spring while I was jogging off that illness. We got all the fresh water we need, so I gotta make sure to remember where this is.

Tai: Izzy really came through for us. He found a hot spring, and fresh water to boot. It called for a celebration. And there really was only one way to do that.

(Shot of Izzy, Sora, Serena, and Misty, in swimsuits, relaxing in the spring. Tai jumps in, in between Serena and Misty.)

Tai: This is great! (grabs Serena and Misty’s shoulders and brings them closer to himself) I wonder if those American guys have a hot tub yet!

Sora: I don’t know what it was, but in that spring, Tai seemed a little… personal. I don’t know what it was, but he seems a bit flirtatious. I can’t tell what’s causing it. Whatever the case, it’s a side of him I’ve never seen before. (smiles) And I like it.

Misty: I can’t tell with Tai. At times, he does seem a little touchy, but that could just be a sign of friendship. I’m going to keep an eye out for it though. If he does come on stronger, you never know what might happen. It’s worth looking out for.

Tai: I gotta fess up a bit. We saved both the digital world and the real world. I’m sorry if I offend anybody, but this kind of thing just isn’t a challenge. So I’m just going to loosen up, relax, and try to enjoy myself here.

(Shot of Ash, Tracey, and Matt building the shelter. It is now almost completed.)
Matt: I just wish that Tai and them would help out a bit. Especially Serena, have you seen her do anything since we got here?

Tracey: Well, she hasn’t been feeling too well, so you can’t really come down on her for that.

Matt: I suppose Tracey has a point about Serena. But if she doesn’t get well soon, I will still probably vote her off. I mean, the initial rounds are about eliminating the weakest members, right? But a few of the others aren’t doing that much either. Tai for instance is spending a lot of his time at that spring. Misty seems to only try to annoy me, and Izzy’s still relying on the fact that he discovered that spring to avoid doing work.

(Another shot of Ash, Tracey, and Matt working on the shelter, now nearing completion.)

(Another shot of Sora, Izzy, Misty, Tai, and Serena in the spring.)

Day Three

(Tom is on a sandbar, with a big ugly idol behind him. The idol’s "arms" are two unlit torches.)
Tom: Every three days, one of the teams will be forced to vote one of their members off. How do the teams prevent this fate? Simple. By winning this immunity idol (holds up a large pen statuette) by defeating the other tribe in a challenge. But along with immunity, today’s challenge, Quest for Fire, has an additional incentive for winning: Whoever wins also gets a set of waterproof matches, sure to make this an important challenge. The teams have been notified by tree-mail, and will arrive around noon.

(Shot of the said tree for Japanese tribe. Izzy jogs up to it, checks it, reads the message, then jogs back.)

[Shot of Izzy, Matt, and Sora reading the message. It repeats pretty much what Tom said, but with clever rhymes and stuff.]

Izzy: Although we have fire already, and we don’t know how the other team is doing, we still really want to win this.

Ash: Keeping the fire going over the night is very difficult, we need to keep somebody watching it at all times.

[Montage of Night Vision shots of various Japanese players watching the fire at separate times]

Tai: If the fire goes out during the night, and the next day is overcast, we’re in serious trouble.

(Shot of Kyle, Blossom, and Bart reading the message.)

Blossom: I wish they were a little more specific on what we need to do to win.

Kyle: It doesn’t matter, we have to win this.

Bubbles: We need fire because we heard that the other guys have fire and if we don’t have fire then it’s not fair and we also will have to vote somebody off, which I don’t want to do!

(Overhead shot of the sandbar, and the whole course, including several pairs of torches in the water, leading to torches on the sandbar, leading to the big ugly idol. Both teams are approaching, in boats. Closeup as Tom greets the arriving teams.)
Tom: Teams, two days, have you killed each other yet? As you know, this is the first challenge, and you’ll be fighting for not only a set of waterproof matches, but also immunity. This idol here, a big pen, represents continued life. You’ll always be here if you’ve got the pen, although this thingy makes much less sense to those who are animated with computers. The losing team will have to attend Tribal Council, where they vote one of their own off. It isn’t a fun place to be, and makes this challenge that much more important. This challenge is called Quest for Fire. Thirty yards past the sandbar you’ll find your team’s torch. The job is simple, swim out there, and light each torch you come across. Each one of the team’s members must have a hand on the torch at all times. When you reach the sandbar, continue along lighting torches until you reach the idol. Whoever lights their side first wins. Teams, to your positions.

(Both teams get into their positions- the American team on a blue mat, the Japanese team on a red mat. Both teams are a bit nervous.)

Tom: Ready. Set. Go!

[Players Arrive in the Following Order-]
1) Blossom, Tai, Sora
2) Buttercup, Bubbles
3) Misty
4) Bart, Stan, Ash
5) Kyle, Lisa, Matt
6) Eric, Tracey
7) Serena, Izzy
Americans begin swimming, and have a lead while lighting torches. However, Japanese Team catches up quickly. After awhile, Eric stumbles, and the Americans fall behind, allowing Japanese to get ahead. Once they reach land, Americans try catching up, but to no avail. Japanese Tribe Wins.]

[Japanese celebrate, including Tai hugging Sora; Misty and Serena giving a "high ten"; Matt is enjoying it too. Conversely, Americans, especially Blossom and Bart, look disappointed.]

Tom: Japanese tribe, here’s your idol, you’re alive for three more days. Americans, we’ll see you tonight.

American Tribe

Bart: That’s kind of hard to believe. I’ve grown so attached to these guys and we have to get rid of somebody. It’s going to be a tough choice.

(Shot of Eric getting pissed at Bart, and everybody laughing.)

Buttercup: I think it’s simple who we need to get rid of. I know Bart’s been trying, but he’s just too obnoxious for this team. I can’t stand him. One vote isn’t enough, so I’ve been talking to my sisters about it.

Blossom: Buttercup’s been trying to rally support to get Bart out, but I think the weakest link is Eric. Sure, he gets the team laughing, but if he can’t hold up in these challenges, he’s gotta go.

Lisa: I heard that Buttercup wants to get Bart out. She was talking to her sisters about it and I’m genuinely worried. Not just for his sake, but an alliance between those three could be very dangerous to the rest of us.

Bart: Although Eric seems to be a prime candidate, I don’t see him going. Everybody needs a laugh now and then, and Eric provides that in his own special way. Sure he messed up a little bit in the challenge, but I don’t think too many of us will hold that against him.

Kyle: His fat ass is outta here!

Tribal Council

(It looks like a big tree house set with a bench, and a table in the center. Behind the bench are eight lit torches, representing the eight survivors. Each are somewhat personalizing the character it represents. Lisa’s torch, for example, has a small saxophone charm on it.)

(Tom is inside.)
Tom: This is Tribal Council. Each of our survivors will be judged here. Anything they say or do can come back to help them or haunt them. Yakety yakety blah blah blah- let’s kick someone off!

(Shot of American tribe arriving. They each take a seat under their torches, which aren’t necessarily in the order I have them in.)

Tom: Welcome to Tribal Council, and after three days, you’ve already had some ups and downs. Mostly downs actually. No fire, problems with the shelter, and to top it all off, losing the immunity challenge. Do you think it’s going to get better?

Buttercup: I know it is. I have a feeling that once we get rid of some access baggage here, we’ll be able to concentrate and start kicking butt.

Tom: Bart, you were partially responsible for the problems with the lean-to. Do you feel threatened by that, as if that will play a factor in who leaves?

Bart: Thanks, Tom, I was hoping everyone would forget about that, great that you brought it up.

(Others laugh)

Bart: Well, I still say that that was an accident, and hopefully they believe me. There were only three others at the time it happened so… (counting) that’s not a majority, which makes me feel a lot better.

Tom: Okay. Blossom, follow that path to the voting area. Print the name clearly on the paper, hold it up to the camera and say what you want. When you’re done, come back.

(Follow Blossom as she walks down, and writes "ERIC" on the paper. Direct shot of Blossom (I’ll call it voter’s shot, there’s also aerial shot, which simply shows the person writing, not who they select), voter’s shot)
Blossom: You’ve made it a fun couple days, but now’s the time to go.

(She leaves. Fade to aerial shots of Bubbles and Lisa voting. Voter’s shot of Buttercup holding "BART".)
Buttercup: In a serious game, we need serious players.

(She leaves. Aerial shot of Kyle voting, then Bart voting. Voter’s shot of Bart holding "BUTTERCUP.")
Bart: It’s just a warning. I know it won’t be enough, but this’ll at least scare her straight.

(He leaves. Aerial shot of Stan voting. Voter’s shot of Eric holding "BART.")
Eric: He’s just so annoying, and a serious distraction to the team!

(He leaves. Back to Tribal Council shot as Tom takes the ballot box.)
Tom: And now comes the fun part. Once the votes are tallied the decision is final and the one voted upon must leave the island immediately. If you follow that path, to your left is a confessional where you can say your final piece before leaving. Well, here we go.

(Reaches into the box. Basically, whenever he says a name, he shows the tribe (and us) the paper, with the name on it.)

Tom: The first vote is for… Eric.

Eric: Hey!

Tom: The next vote is for Bart.

(Shot of Bart, silently nervous)

Tom: Eric. Then, Buttercup.

(Shot of Buttercup, keeping a straight face. The next vote has "CARTMAN" written on it.)

Tom: Another for Eric. And another for Bart. That’s three for Eric, two for Bart, one for Buttercup. This vote is for… Eric. The last vote doesn’t matter. Eric, hand me your torch.

(While Eric obliges (actually, he first tries to grab Lisa’s, but Tom prevents it), Buttercup cuts a suspicious look at Bart, who does not receive it. Eric carries his torch to Tom, who has a snuffer.

Tom: Eric… the tribe has spoken.

(His flame is extinguished. Eric leaves silently, or to me more accurate, mutters "You guys suck anyway" on his way out.)

Tom: Well, I’m sure after today’s encounter, you won’t want to come here again. You may take your torches, and feel free to use them to light a fire. ‘Til then, I’ll be seeing you.

(Shot of the group collectively taking their torches away and leaving)

(Shot of Eric, alone, wandering down the road towards the beach.)

Confession-
Eric: Well, there’s not much that I really have to say. I hate all you a**holes and don’t mind being kicked out. Now I can watch from my hotel room, eating Cheesy Poofs all day! So it just leaves me to say it… you know what it is… "Screw you guys, I’m going home!"

Preview of Next Week’s Show
Tom: Next week… well we don’t have any clips to show you since it hasn’t been written yet. But I can tell you what to expect.

*Serena’s sickness continues, prompting Matt to question her value to the team.
*Who needs challenges when the AA decides to attack the camps with roaches and a nasty snake?
*With the Immunity Challenge requiring the digestion of live bugs, can a vegetarian and two bug-fearers handle the task?

Post-Writing Author's Notes:
Don’t you hate when they don’t announce the last vote? That really bugged me for a long time. I kept it for posterity, although a few will want to kick my posterity if I keep doing it. For the official record, here is an exact tally of the votes and voters.

There, ya happy?

Also, I recognize the unpopularity of kicking "America’s Sweetheart" off in the first episode, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles. I’m not going for popularity, I’m trying to be realistic here. This is how I see it playing out. If you thought Eric’s outing was unpopular, just remember that there are fourteen others that will get the boot, and one of the "super-heavyweights" will be gone before the merger. It’s a nasty place, that island.

I probably totally screwed this episode up in mirroring the reality. I missed the first half of the real thing. The boat scenes just seemed like the best way to do it.