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After his draw against Austria, England had to face his media back home. His country is crazy about football and expects nothing but the best performance in the Hetalia World Cup. A mere tie was not enough for them, and they let him have it. Days later, England needed a place to hide. Thankfully, he found it in Frankfurt, in the midst of what was bound to be one of the calmer crowds in the tournament.

The players on the field were still warming up, and England took comfort in watching them. Especially when one of their practice passes went way off the mark and struck Iceland in the back of the head.

Sorry... I'll try to be more careful.

After a lengthy glare, Iceland goes back to his routine. So does Liechtenstein, concentrating on every little technique like basic passes and chesting the ball. It took every ounce of effort for her to look even remotely capable of playing this game.

It made England feel so much better about his problems.

After playing her in a pair of Euro qualifiers, England found that watching Liechtenstein play cured all his woes. It wasn't schadenfreude either, at least not completely. She tried really hard and kept fighting no matter how many times she lost or how badly. Whenever he felt like giving up on his bloodthirsty countrymen and phoning in the rest of a tournament, one of Liechtenstein's matches set him right.

But he noticed that he wasn't the only country in the stadium. It wasn't Switzerland; he had a match that evening. No, England doubted this guy was earnestly interested in watching two of the worst countries in the tournament compete.

Holland, what the hell are you doing here?
Hm? Scouting.
Scouting?! Why are you scouting Liechtenstein and Iceland?
I 'unno. In case I have to play one of them.
They're not in your group! You don't have to play them.
What about the knockout stage?
Let's pretend for a moment that either of them were good enough to make the knockout stage. They're in group G. You're in group B. The way the tournament's set up, you wouldn't see them until the semi-finals!
It... it could happen.
It can't happen, you bloody pervert! This is what happens when you spend too much time under Spain's rule.
England! Holland! Hello!

England shushes himself when he sees Liechtenstein running up to them, holding a ball. She smiles at both of them.

Thank you for coming to my match. I was worried when I found out Brother has to play in Berlin today and can't be here. I'll try hard and won't disappoint you!
*smiles a little* Good luck.
*under his breath* Pedo.
Did you say something, England?
No! Do your best and you'll be fine!
I hope so. Iceland's not very strong either. I might have a chance!
That's the spirit!
Well, here goes nothing!

She resumes her practice, diving after a ball, missing it completely and faceplanting. Holland and England both cringe.

Almost! You'll get it next time!

Liechtenstein gets up, dusts herself off, smiles at England and Holland and goes back to practice. England sighs contentedly.

You were saying?
Uh... er...
  England sighs and shrugs.
Well, if you insist on being here, let me buy you a pint.
Sounds good.

They head to the refreshments stand together for some pre-match booze.

Day 5
Liechtenstein vs. Iceland - Sweden vs. Poland
Italy vs. Switzerland

Back to the studio and our hosts Australia and Cuba.

G'day everybody! Remember yesterday when Cuba wouldn't let me call it a great set of games? He's not stopping me today!
No, sir. We've got three doozies ahead of you as we finish off Group F with Italy-Switzerland and run through Group G, highlighted by Sweden vs. Poland. All four of these guys were in the 2006 FIFA World Cup, three of them made the knockout stages and one of them won the damn thing.
Even our first match of the day has something to offer.
In a way. Neither Liechtenstein nor Iceland are expected to pose a threat. In most groups, they'd be dead meat. Neither has qualified for the finals of either Euro or the World Cup. But thanks to the luck of the draw, they get to play each other.
Iceland still has to be called the favorite here. He's surprised teams before and even gave Germany a test for the Euro qualifier a few years ago. Not only has Liechtenstein never qualified for Euro or the World Cup, she's only won a total of five qualifier games. And she's played in 80.
Of course, one of those five wins came against Iceland. She beat him 3-0.
Taiwan's in Frankfurt with Iceland. Let's see what he has to say about that.

Iceland is in Frankfurt with Taiwan. You probably knew that already.

Iceland, this is something of a lucky draw for you opening up against Liechtenstein.
I guess. I'll try to make the most out of the opportunity.
You have lost to her once before in Euro qualifying. Is there something you could learn from that?
She can't be underestimated, but she can't beat a smart strategy and good tactics.
What is your smart strategy?
Defense. She's probably excited, thinking she has a winnable match. I'll show her otherwise.
Can't wait to see it. Good luck today!

 


Day 5- Frankfurt

Match 12

Group G

LIECHTENSTEIN vs. ICELAND

Little Liechtenstein on one side, little Iceland on another and little Seychelles as match official. It would be adorable if it wasn't a sanctioned World Cup match. Aw, hell, it's adorable anyway.

It takes a few minutes for either side to establish themselves as holding the ball, since neither of them are particularly good at holding the ball. In time, the primary aggressor is established- Liechtenstein.

Early on, it looks like Liechtenstein's taking the initiative first. Iceland holing back on defense.
No surprise there. Iceland tends to take a lot of inspiration from the way Norway plays. Sit back and wait for an opportunity.
Yeah, but Liechtenstein's not taking a cue from her brother. She's gunning for it early. Into the box! Shot! Easy save for Iceland.

Despite Iceland focusing almost entirely on defense, Liechtenstein does get a couple weak shots in, but nothing seems to trouble him for a while. His inexperience does create a few gaps, but she doesn't see them in time.

After ten minutes or so, Iceland does look downfield a little bit, mostly through quick passes that catch Liechtenstein off guard. Still, he isn't able to get very far either. The moment Liechtenstein gets the ball, he rushes back on defense.

Liechtenstein carefully gets it down the side. Gonna try a cross here. Header! Oh, way over the bar!
Heh heh. A bit off the mark there. That almost cleared the net between the pitch and the stands.
That's worth a point in Australian football!

She continues on, undeterred. Iceland's still holed up on defense, giving her plenty of time with the ball, but not very many scoring opportunities.

Let's see where she's going with it now. Back to the sideline for another cross. Someone's in position to head it! It's on target! GOAL! Liechtenstein scores first!
Just a sound goal right there. She got in position for a cross, got in front of the defender and banged it home right past the keeper's arms. Hard work pays off and tells Iceland he can't be hanging back all game.

17' - GOAL (LIE) - Liechtenstein 1, Iceland 0

Liechtenstein doesn't let up. Iceland remains conservative, but his stout defense is plenty to hold off her so-so attacking ability.

It takes several minutes for Iceland to explore forward. He crosses one into the box, but Liechtenstein heads it away... out of bounds for a corner kick, but it's still a stop.

Iceland continues to play back... most of the time.

Iceland holding it, looking around for options... charges forward! Gets past two defenders and takes a long shot from the edge of the box! Knocked away by the keeper.
First time Liechtenstein's been troubled at goal all day and it almost went in.

They continue battling at midfield. Liechtenstein accidentally trips up Iceland at midfield. Seychelles holds up a yellow card.

Gonna have to book you for that, Liechtenstein. Try to be more careful.
Yes, ma'am. I know I should apologize, but Brother told me not to.

A good through ball gives Iceland another chance, but the shot isn't very good. Actually, Iceland's offense is very quietly waking up.

Liechtenstein clears that offensive attack. Passes it up, intercepted by Iceland! Long shot from the box is just knocked away!
It's a good thing for Liechtenstein that Iceland's been playing back so much. In the times that he has looked for a shot, she's just barely been able to handle it.

Still, neither side is all that strong on offense and nobody scores. Liechtenstein keeps trying.

Oh, here's something for Liechtenstein! She crosses it in! There's a header! It's by the keeper and off the post! Iceland clears it.
So close there. She almost made it 2-0 before halftime. Way Iceland's been playing this, that would have been hard to recover from.

Both sides search a bit in the closing minutes, but halftime arrives.

That's the end of the first half and Liechtenstein is holding onto a perilous 1-0 lead.
Gotta hand it to her, she's playing it the right away. She's lucky to have an opponent remotely close to her skill level and she's trying to take advantage of that and get three points. Iceland, meanwhile, is holing up and playing for a draw the way he usually does against stronger opponents.
Help her if he starts to push on offense.
Yeah. Down one goal, he's got to score whether he's playing for one point or three. So look for him to be a bit more aggressive in the second half. Even if she has a clean sheet so far, she struggled on defense in the first half, so this one's not over yet.
Definitely not. We'll be back with the second half!

Liechtenstein takes a moment to focus herself.

All right, Brother. One more half. I can still do this...
  She turns to her "friends" in the stands for support, which may not be a good idea.
Right, England?
*drunk* Look, you tulip abuser, I'm not the one here to ogle the cute girl in the gym shorts...
*equally drunk* Really? Let me ask the ref. You've had a few incidents with Seychelles, right?
Just to keep her away from France!
Just admit there's nothing wrong with it! If my ships got lost on the way to Asia, I'd conquer Seychelles too.
Um, sirs?
  Seychelles has been hearing this too. She's pissed.
You know, as match official, I can have them kicked out.
No, that's all right.
At least my gallery is sober.
If I had anything to drink at this match, I'd fall asleep. Those two are the only ones making this amusing.
Sorry, I promise to do better.

When he gets the ball to start the second half, Iceland catches Liechtenstein off guard and charges down the pitch. So fast, in fact, that he draws an offside flag.

As the next several minutes go by, it's clear that Iceland has changed course and is concentrating on scoring. Liechtenstein's defense is increasingly stretched as she races back to cover goal.

Surprisingly, she doesn't give up on offense.

Here comes Liechtenstein now! Into the box. The shot! Easy save by Iceland as the keeper catches it.
Launches it downfield quickly to try a counter-attack! Fires it into the box! Header is over the bar! Quick exchanges all around.

For a long time, it's back and forth between the two sides.

Iceland into the box, but Liechtenstein clears that one and sends it back upfield.
Nope, Iceland wins the fifty-fifty and quickly sends it forward. He's got a striker there! No offside flag, it's a breakaway! Shoots! SCORES!
Wow! Iceland sees a sudden opportunity and makes the most of it! We're all square!

61' - GOAL (ISL) - Liechtenstein 1, Iceland 1

Over the next span, it's clear that both sides are very used to playing for draws. As soon as one shows any trace of aggression, the other quickly holes up on defense.

Liechtenstein kicking it around now, gets a cross! The header! Punched out of the box by Iceland's keeper. She gets it back but she's taken out. Foul called on Iceland and here's a free kick.
She's very close to the box, so it'll be interesting to see what she tries here. Iceland's building up a wall in front of his goal.
*calling out teasingly* Bend it like Beckham!
Wow, you are an idiot.
I'll deal with you on the pitch, Norway!
Right, like you dealt with Austria.
Shut up, you two. I got enough of that from my sister. Liechtenstein's shooting.

She tries to curl it around the wall... except she doesn't quite know how to do that the way England can. The shot sails wide of the wall, the goal, and the net protecting the fans. Holland laughs at her.

Iceland returns the favor a bit later with a header that sails way wide. Later, Liechtenstein draws a corner kick.

Liechtenstein sets up the corner! It's away! Towards the back of the box!
...and past the back of the box, going all the way to the other end untouched. Throw-in Iceland. Maybe not quite so much on that one next time.

Iceland takes the ensuing possession downfield.

Iceland down the middle, looking for something... there it is! Into the box and fires! Oh, the defender clears it, but it trickles out for a corner.
  Iceland glares at Seychelles, but doesn't say anything. Cuba picks up on this.
He seems unhappy about something.
Oh, I see! Seychelles missed a handball! Liechtenstein put her arm up to block that shot! That should be a red card!
Maybe Iceland oughtta open his mouth and say something once in awhile.
Wow, that was awful. How did Seychelles miss an obvious handball like that?
Remember, she's partially French.

There. France didn't give me much room to reference it last time, but there's your Hand of Henry joke. Seriously though, Liechtenstein totally blocked that with her arm and the ref missed it. It wasn't iffy like the one Egypt scored with.

Either way, it is a corner for Iceland. He takes a second to collect himself and fires. Curls out to the far end. There's a header- GOAL! Handball or not, Iceland drives it home to take the lead!
Now that's how you channel your frustration! That blown call may have been extra motivation to make the most of this corner. Either way, Iceland has stormed back!

76' - GOAL (ISL) - Iceland 2, Liechtenstein 1

Liechtenstein is disappointed, but not deterred. She drives down right away and forces Iceland to make a great diving save to keep his lead. Iceland quickly gets back on defense while Liechtenstein presses forward once again in a more urgent rehash of the beginning of the game.

Only eight minutes left for Liechtenstein to reclaim points here.
She's driving hard now. She knows this is her only realistic chance for points in the tournament.
Tries a long ball from midfield, hoping to surprise Iceland. And does! She's clear for a shot! GOAL! She's tied it back up!!
Nope, no she didn't.
Offside! No goal!
Oh, the flag was up! Let's see the replay.
Seychelles has been quick to throw up the offside flag today, but it looks like she got it right this time. Liechtenstein got a little too far ahead of Iceland's defense, so the goal doesn't count. That was a good call.

Liechtenstein's elation turns to disappointment, which lingers for a little too long. Iceland takes the opportunity to press forward a bit and keep the ball on her side of the pitch to whittle down the clock, although he doesn't take many shots. This works until the final minute.

Iceland passes it up, intercepted! Liechtenstein gets it and charges forward! This could be her last chance and she knows it! Up to her midfielders, passes forward, she gets it into the box! Iceland pressures on defense, but she gets off a shot! No, rolls easily into the waiting arms of the keeper.
Look like it caught him off guard for a second, but Iceland got back on defense in time to pressure her into a bad shot.
And that is going to be the end of it. The whistle blows and Iceland comes from behind to win 2-1.

Iceland doesn't react much, but sneaks in a fist pump. He looks up at Norway, who silently nods in approval. Liechtenstein is saddened by the loss and turns to Holland and England. England stands up and applauds her. She smiles a little as she heads for the tunnel.

Day 5- Frankfurt

Match 12

Group G

LIECHTENSTEIN 1:2
FT
ICELAND
17'

Frick

Referee
SEY

Sigurdsson
Gudjonsson

61'
76'

Taiwan tries to perk up Liechtenstein by subjecting her to an interview.

A tough loss, Liechtenstein, but at least you were in it the whole time.
I suppose. I did my best and I had the lead for a long time. But it's very disappointing to be so close and still lose.
Were you surprised by Iceland's change in tactics in the second half?
A little. I thought I had been doing very well until he started playing more aggressively. I just couldn't keep up.
And now you have Sweden and Poland in your next two matches. That's going to be difficult.
Yes. That's why I tried so hard to win today. I don't think I have as much of a chance in my next two games.
It's certainly a tall task. On a lighter note, Switzerland's up next. What's your prediction?
Brother will defeat Italy 10-0.
Well, I'll go place my bet now. Thanks, Liechtenstein. Back to you, Australia.
Thanks, Taiwan. Definitely a disappointing result for Liechtenstein.
Yeah, she's not making much money gambling on Switzerland beating Italy 10-0. Has Switzerland even scored 10 in a whole tournament before?
I was talking about her match.
Oh, yeah yeah, she's a sitting duck against Sweden and Poland. In fact, Iceland probably is too. He got three points out of it, but it wasn't all that impressive. Maybe that's why I want to talk about this next game.
My first thought about her prediction was that not giving up any goals would pretty realistic for brother. But not against Italy.
No, that little idiot may be clueless in everything else in life, but he has a gift for this game. Italy has won the World Cup four times, including the most recent one in 2006.
But Switzerland is a very sound defensive team that will be waiting eagerly for Italy to screw up. This should be a good match. Let's send it to Berlin for kickoff.

 


Day 5- Berlin

Match 13

Group F

ITALY vs. SWITZERLAND

In lieu of traditional warm-up drills, Italy is bouncing the ball on his head repeatedly.

Eh... can we start now? Warming up's no fun. I wanna play with somebody!

Switzerland runs out of the tunnel urgently, already looking a bit winded.

About time. Where were you?
*defensive* Nowhere! I wasn't doing anything! Just... planning.
Right... so how did she look? They just flashed her score up on the board.
  Switzerland grumbles. Busted.
Let's just do this already.

Thailand gets the two together and has a brief chat, although Italy's distracted by an amusing sign in the stands. Switzerland grows more agitated but Thailand finishes up and puts the ball at midfield to begin play. Italy kicks it off and just starts passing around randomly. Switzerland can barely keep up.

Not a lot of direction early on from Italy. Switzerland holding on defense, but can't get close to the ball.
Passing it around can be risky. Worked okay for Spain, but Switzerland is far more disciplined than Latvia was. It'll be hard to throw him off.
There's a kick into the box! Italy's got an open shot! Switzerland just barely got a piece of it! It's a corner kick.

Switzerland isn't completely helpless, mind you. When he gets a turnover, he quickly charges forward for a counter. Only Italy's there too and saves a shot with ease.

For the most part, though, Italy is bouncing around, barely considering Switzerland's position. Both his offense and defense seem to ignore Switzerland and focuses solely on the ball.

Italy down the sides, under heavy pressure. Switzerland is not letting him get a cross off.
No... tight, tight defense. Ball trickles away and Italy fires it up into the box. More clearance than cross.
Switzerland heads it, but it goes backwards, off the side of Italy's head, IN! GOAL!
What the hell? Both sides just trying to get rid of the ball and it ricochets off Italy's hair curl and finds the corner of the net. Unbelievable.

9' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 1, Switzerland 0

When Switzerland gets the ball, he slows things down and tries to establish some sanity... or at least wait for Italy to create an opening. Italy has no such intentions, and continues to play with no awareness of anything but the ball and his own team.

Italy trying for another cross, again under pressure. And again he just kicks it in blindly!
Switzerland's ready for it and clears it away.
Right back to Italy, who sends it back into the box. Has a man! Hard shot! Great save by Switzerland!

Finally, Switzerland is able to slow things down and set up an offense.

Switzerland has two in the box waiting for cross. It's away towards the back. There's a shot! Punched straight up into the air. Comes back down for an easy header into...!
Offside!
Nope, guess again. Linesman's flag was up and the goal's called back. Italy's defenders were napping and Switzerland ended up behind them.
What just happened?
Are you kidding me?

Italy continues to keep possession, although whether he has control is debatable.

Ball's at midfield and Italy sends a long, long ball into the box! He's got a striker there and onside who collects it and...
...watches it bounce in front of him.
Another attacker slides in and kicks it home! GOAL! Italy does it again and it's 2-0!

23' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 2, Switzerland 0

Italy's not finished yet.

Italy rushes past the defenders, he's got a fast break! Shot is knocked away!
Gets the rebound and fires again! Off the defender! Switzerland cleans it up.

And a few minutes later...

Italy along the edge of the box. Passes to center, off the striker's foot and IN! 3-0!
Did that striker even see that coming? I don't even think he kicked it. It just bounced off his foot and went in! I don't think there's any logic to what he's doing and he's all but put this one away in the first half.

29' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 3, Switzerland 0

Italy is dancing around happily and the crowd loves it. They're cheering like mad for him. It takes all of Switzerland's self-control not to punch him in the face. He knows he has to do something.

So he gets aggressive. Unfortunately, Italy anticipates his first two offensives and clears them easily and with nothing but a smile. It just pisses Switzerland off more.

Here comes Switzerland again... nope, Italy's defense squeezes him out.
Wait, no! The ball comes loose! Switzerland gets a shot off! Keeper knocked it away.
Who gets the rebound though? Switzerland dives in! Header goes off the keeper's mitt... GOAL! Switzerland on the board with the second chance.
Italy's making it look easy, but Switzerland really had to work for that goal. Either way, the gap's back down to two.

32' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 1

Switzerland does not react. He's pissed and ready to let off some frustrations now.

Switzerland working hard on offense. Passes into the box is gathered up and Italy clears it...
...clears it right back to Switzerland! Long shot! Italy tips it over the bar! Close play!
Switzerland is peppering the box now. Italy's defense is starting to show some holes.

Switzerland continues to persist on offense and finds several chances against an Italy defense that may or may not know what it's doing.

Although Italy still is having a blast on offense.

Italy has an opening! Into the box! What'll he do with it?!
...he's going to kick it straight at the keeper for an easy save.
Um, yeah.

Switzerland dominates possession in the latter stages of the second half, partially because Italy has lost interest in dominating possession. Switzerland's intensity has rubbed off a little bit, as an exchange of fouls leads to a warning from the referee and a booking for Switzerland.

Things are really heating up in the final minutes of the first half. Italy leads 3-1 but Switzerland is really pouring it on.
Rushing forward now, Switzerland gets an open shot! Takes it! Knocked away.
But Italy forgets to clear it! Switzerland collects! Fires! SCORES! Back to a one goal game as Italy shows a major lapse on defense!
Yep, a little too care-free that time. Switzerland is far too stubborn to go into the locker room trailing that much. Suddenly, it's a ballgame again.

43' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 2

That takes us to halftime. Despite Switzerland catching up, Italy jogs off happily. Thus, Switzerland is still pissed. Probably not the best time for him to run into Vietnam.

Things started out looking pretty bad, but you seemed to have found some rhythm late in the half. How did you turn things around?
That mug of his pissed me off, that's how I turned it around! I don't care about winning this game anymore. I just want to wipe that damn smirk off his face.
Something tells me that intensity continues in the second half.
Damn right. I just hope he notices that I'm kicking his ass.
Great, uh... I think I'll leave it at that. Guys?
This is why nobody messes with Switzerland.
Quite a turnaround. Down 3-0 at one point and Switzerland's turned it on and brought it to within one. How does Italy respond?
You're asking me? I don't know even know if Italy will. He's just been doing his thing and kinda ran out of karma for a bit. He'll need to regain the momentum somehow.
He's getting a test now, that's for sure. Let's get going with the second half!

Both sides come out energized in the second half, including Italy moving the ball well once more. Switzerland continues to try to advance the ball, but runs into Italy every time, either playing defense well or standing still in just the right spots. The reverse holds true as well, as Switzerland plays excellent, disciplined defense that counters even Italy's most random attacks.

For the first fifteen minutes of the half, attacks are generally rare and harmless.

Switzerland searching... good pass into the box. He chests it, turns and fires! Off the crossbar!!
Italy's right there and skies it back downfield before Switzerland could do anything else with it.
Italy wasting no time setting up his own offense. Can the Swiss get back?
Yaaaah!!
Good hustle! Switzerland's back on D and closes the door.

Both sides start to get some very good opportunities, and make very good saves to counter the other sides... among other things.

Italy presses forward, gets past the defense! Has a breakaway, he... stops? Kicks it back out and Switzerland's there to recover.
Either he's a complete idiot or there's a method there. His angle of approach wasn't great there. Must have seen that and wanted to try something else.
Switzerland at midfield now, looking, looking... Italy charges in! Takes him out with a dangerous slide.
Whistle blows and Thailand's got a yellow card for him.

Italy smiles vapidly at Thailand. Switzerland just wants to put the ball back in play.

Switzerland's increasing determination to equalize does put his defense at risk, however. Good use of the offside trap minimizes that, but doesn't eliminate Italy's offense. He gets several good shots and wears down Switzerland's defense.

Italy under some pressure on the side. He gets the cross off anyway!
He's good at that. Now where's it going?
Has a man! The header! Over the bar!
Give him this- he's not cowering on defense. He wants to score again.

Switzerland's doing similar things on offense and tries to step it up with twenty minutes left in the game.

Switzerland really pushing men forward now. Passing around. Italy's not letting him into the box!
Oh, there's a cross! Gets enough space and lets it fly!
There's a header!! Off the keeper! The post! IN!! Lucky bounce but Switzerland doesn't care! It's 3-3!!
Unbelievable! Ball bounces Italy's way for most of the first half, but Switzerland finally catches some luck to erase a three goal deficit! That took some fortitude.

72' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 3

And I'm not done yet. Get ready to surrender, pasta brain!
Ehhh? We can surrender in football?

Switzerland sulks: Italy's cluelessness even prevents proper taunting.

Switzerland is not going to be satisfied with a draw. He charges forward again and tests Italy's defense. It passes and Italy counterattacks.

Italy down the field in a hurry! Past defenders! He's got a breakaway! Fires! Oh, just knocked away!
Nobody's going to be happy with just one point tonight. Good to hear.

Indeed. Both sides continue to pour it on offensively. Switzerland seems to be better at midfield during this span, as he gets balls into position quite often. But...

Another Swiss attack gobbled up. Italy's thinking offense, but his defense has been preventing Switzerland from any organized attack.
A disorganized attack would probably work fine, but since when has Switzerland ever been disorganized?

Back on offense, Italy heads down the right side quickly.

Down the side of the box, what's Italy looking for here? Gets a low, weak cross off... there's an open man! Italy fires! SCORES!! Oh, Italy regains the lead!
Caramba! Just a quick jab in there finds the net! All that work Switzerland did and it's for nothing! With just 6 minutes left, that should decide it right there. Disappointment all around for Switzerland.

84' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 4, Switzerland 3

Switzerland looks up at the scoreboard, dumbfounded. Italy walks by, smiling at all the fans cheering for him. He waves deliriously.

When the game resumes, Italy's still not finished. He wins a corner kick.

Corner kick for Italy. Not wasting any time! There it goes! Goes to the front, no- back of the post! Shot! Right at the keeper!
Good job by Switzerland to stick with that one. Very deceptive, that one.

Switzerland doesn't care. Almost out of frustration, his keeper launches it to midfield.

Switzerland hustling downfield. Collects at the halfway line and just booms another one into Italy's box.
So much for organized...
Fifty-fifty chance here... Italy wins it! He turns and fires! GOAL!! Miracle shot from the top of the box! We're square again!
No way! Switzerland does the impossible! He somehow collects that long ball from halfcourt and just drills it into the top of the net! Just a miraculous goal!

85' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 4, Switzerland 4

Switzerland is seething now, hell bent on getting a result. Italy's mood seems to have dampened a little bit, but both sides still keep fighting for chances. Even with such little time left, it seems like either side could score. Despite some harrowing bounces in front of Switzerland's goal, however, that stands and the game ends in an incredible 4-4 draw.

Switzerland falls to his knees, sighs and nods, and rushes into the locker room without another word. Italy lingers for a bit, still smiling and vacant. He waves to the crowd a little more as he slowly shuffles under the tunnel.

Day 5- Berlin

Match 13

Group F

ITALY 4:4
FT
SWITZERLAND
9'
23'
29'
84'

Pirlo
Totti
Camoranesi
Gilardano

Referee
THA

Frei
Frei
Vogel
Frei

32'
43'
72'
85'

After the match, Vietnam attempts to get something useful out of Italy.

A rousing start to the match, Italy, but it has to be disappointing blowing the lead twice and settling for the draw.
That was fun! Who do I play next?
We'll get your next game in a bit, but what did you do early on that Switzerland shut down?
I scored a lot of goals! Then I couldn't score a lot of goals. Then Switzerland did.
Was Switzerland's use of the offside trap in the late stages a factor?
The off-what?
...let's talk about your next match against Egypt. He looked pretty good yesterday and he's given you problems in the past. Any thoughts watching him beat Estonia?
I didn't watch it. I was taking a nap.
Do you even know what the final of his match was?
Nope!
Do you even know what the final of your match was?
Switzerland won, right?
*sighs* I think I'm done here.

Australia and Cuba are shaking your heads.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 FIFA World Cup champion.
Hell of a match though. Switzerland did a hell of a job coming back from three down against someone that skilled, then equalized again in the final minutes. If it were anybody but Switzerland, he'd be happy with the draw here.
Best match of the tournament so far, if you ask me. But that may be short-lived with Sweden-Poland due up.
Oi, you're right about that. Here's two more World Cup finalists in '06. Sweden is a strong, disciplined player that's made the knockout stage in each of his last two World Cups.
Yep, and while Poland's under-performed in the last two tournaments, give him credit for getting there. His trick seems to be losing the first two matches, then kicking ass in the third game when he's already out of it.
Like the way he beat a really hot America team in Korea in 2002.
There is no such thing as a really hot America team. But there is a really hot Taiwan and she's with Poland in Stuttgart.
Aw, I'm charmed, Cuba, but you know how I feel about communists. Anyway, Poland, your first match will pretty much decide the winner in Group G. What's the strategy?
Strategy? Since, like, when have I needed a strategy to beat Sweden? I'm, like, always fighting Sweden.
This isn't the 17th century.
Whatever! I'm totally cool against Sweden. No prob.
Actually, in competitive matches, he's beaten you six times and you've only beaten him once.
Yep. World Cup '74, right here in Stuttgart. Totally kicked his butt.
The final was 1-0. But glad to know you're not behind on the times. Good luck!

 


Day 5- Stuttgart

Match 14

Group G

SWEDEN vs. POLAND

As promised, Poland doesn't seem to have a strategy. He moves up the field carefully, making some very good passes in his advancement and getting the ball towards Sweden's box early. Sweden's keeping things close to the cuff and plays a tight defense. Poland tries, but can't figure out a way past it.

Still, he has the ball long enough to test Sweden and look for openings. He just doesn't spot any. Sweden doesn't touch the ball much, but when he does he marches down the field and creates a fast opportunity, although without enough force to trouble Poland. Poland gets the ball back and resumes the hunt.

Poland searching for something along the side of the box. Tries to take it back out and... he's taken down from behind! Foul called! Was that in the box?
Nope, guess not. Just outside it, according to Cameroon. That was close to a penalty there.
Either way, it's a free kick for Poland. Sweden sets up a wall. There's the kick! Past the wall! Into the box! Defense gets a hold of it and clears. Sweden not letting anything through early on.

Still, against a team as skilled as Poland, hanging back can't work forever.

Poland driving, passes into the box! Forward again! Shot from the side! Knocked out of bounds! That was a good look there.
Yep, Sweden is playing great defense, but it's only a matter of time before Poland stumbles onto a chance.

With the ball, Sweden slows down his own possessions to space things out a bit. Still not a whole lot of offense out of him yet. He seems to be biding his time.

Not that it matters. Good scoring chances are few and far between for Poland. Nothing seems to open up for him.

About fifteen minutes in, Sweden at least thinks about attacking.

Down the line and there's a cross for Sweden! Curling out to the top of the box! Sharp header from long range! Oh, just off the keeper's fingertips! Poland falls on top of it!
Wow, that was close. That header was from 18 yards out and still came at him like a rocket.

Sweden gets the ball back.

Sweden gets it back. Quick through ball up the middle! He's got a breakaway! Shot! Knocked away! Poland's defenders get back in time to clear it!

One more time!

Sweden looking down the left side now. Good cross... fantastic cross! Striker's wide open in the box! Collects it, shoots it- GOAL! Sweden strikes first! How did he get that open?!
Maybe Poland thought he'd be called offside, but he was actually behind the ball. That crossed away from the net. Either way, fifteen minutes of playing possum and Sweden just totally checkmates Poland with that one.

19' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 1, Poland 0

Poland continues to look for chances, but Sweden is really playing tight defense. Worse yet, Sweden is now getting a rhythm on offense, getting several good looks over the next few minutes. One thing's for sure, Poland's careful to guard those crosses now.

Poland with the ball again, looking for a way into the box. Trying to get around Sweden and passes back to the outside. Oi, he's trying a shot from there! Long shot, but it's curling! Just wide!
Ooh, close though. Sweden's really stopped Poland's offense, but if he can hit those long shots like that, it might loosen things up.

One thing that emerges is that as Sweden develops a stronger attack, all the while remaining cold and calculated, Poland defends it quite well. Neither side gets a shot in for the longest time, and the half dwindles down to the final minutes of an epic defensive battle.

Sweden concedes a corner kick here. He's been a little more open to giving Poland corners today.
Poland tries the short corner here. Up a few feet and there's the cross!
It's at the edge of the box... close enough! There's the shot! Curls! Keeper knocks it away just to be safe.
Just to be safe is right. That looked wide, but Poland's showing a knack for that long shot. Way Sweden's been playing defense, that might be the only chance at an equalizer.

Sweden gets one really good shot in before halftime, but Poland combines a good save and heads-up defense to take care of it. The half ends with Sweden up 1-0.

Well, the last game had a flurry of scoring. This one's more of a defensive battle, but it's still a right good one.
Oh yeah. Sweden is playing a hell of a game tonight. Top form both on defense and offense. Gotta give it up to Poland too: after giving up the goal, he's found a way to keep Sweden in check and create chances out of thin air.
Think he can get back into this one?
Totally. He's not playing quite as polished a game as Sweden, but he's finding a way to keep up. All it takes it one. I'm looking forward to this second half.
Right. Let's get back to the action!

Once again, Poland emerges as the aggressor in the second half. Early on, he gets a couple chances.

Poland goes in! Nope, Sweden clears it. Sends it back out, but Poland intercept! Crosses back into the box! Long header! Just tipped away!

Sweden doesn't seem to be bothered by Poland stepping up the attack, but after Poland steals it back, Sweden commits a hard foul.

That's a booking, Sweden!
Hm.
Like... ow, man. Watch the cleats.

Sweden does get a few shots here and there, but Poland's defense is holding well. Poland is slowly finding better angles and the shots are troubling the keeper more and more.

Poland looking outside the box and a sliding tackle from Sweden! Foul called; this'll be a free kick.
Good range for Poland. He's been doing well from about this distance. A free kick should be interesting. Might as well go for it all with this one.
Sweden has his wall set up. Poland eyeing things, rears back, and it's off! Over the wall straight at goal! Oh, diving save! Can Poland get anything get past this guy?!

The back and forth continues until Sweden earns a corner kick.

Interesting... Sweden hasn't had a lot of corners today. That's one area where Poland really has the advantage tonight.
Kicks up, but Poland's right on top of it, heading it out of there. Passes forward, thinking counter-attack? No! It's stolen! Sweden passes up into the box! Open shot! GOAL! A quick interception gives Sweden a 2-0 lead!
Oh wow, that came out of nowhere. Poland's been hanging in there all match, but the way Sweden's playing, two goals is a lot to ask for. Tough, tough break.

59' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 2, Poland 0

To make matters worse for Poland, Sweden starts to do a better job controlling the possession and killing the clock. Poland's offense is stalled simply because they can't get the ball! Worse still, Sweden does go on the attack once he's done stalling.

Lot of bouncing back and forth now for Sweden. Only kinda thinking offense, but more concerned with not letting Poland have it.
Still, he's in Poland territory. Quick pass! Wow, Sweden forces his way through! It's a breakaway! Shot deflected off the keeper and the defense clears.
Jeez, he's good at that. One moment it's quiet and the next, ball's flying to the net.

Once there are only twenty minutes left, Poland starts to concentrate solely on offense when he has the ball. He gets looks, but Sweden's goalkeeper always comes through.

He's also left scrambling to get back on defense.

Sweden moving down the pitch quickly! Takes a shot! Knocked away by the keeper but Sweden gets it back.
Wow, nice job by Poland to get back on defense. Doesn't allow a follow-up shot.
Sweden takes it to the side of the box. Thinking cross? No, he dribbles in! Stops! NOW it's a cross! Header! GOAL!!
Man, Sweden with all sorts of mind games there. He faked twice there before that cross. Poland's just all sorts of confused and suddenly it's becoming a rout!

73' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 3, Poland 0

Cuba has no idea.

Poland's attack goes nowhere and Sweden up the middle quickly! Passes up! Through the defense, wide open down the sidelines! There's the cross! Header's knocked away! Still in along the goal line. Sweden's there first! Shot and IN! Sweden follows up with another goal!
Yikes. Poland not getting back on defense quickly enough and Sweden's finishing all these suckers.

74' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 4, Poland 0

Heh. Heh heh heh. Like... no big whoop, you know?

Yeah, Poland's pretty much falling apart now. His offense is thrown completely out of whack, as he's called offside several times. This added to the fact that Sweden is still playing incredible defense.

And yet, he still counter-attacks when opportune.

Corner kick now. Sweden intent on riding this out with more offense.
Hey, take what the opponent gives you. And Poland's giving a lot.
It's a short corner to a man nearby. There's the cross! To the center of the box! Header! Oh, it's IN! Sweden is just not letting up!
Wow, to think this was such an even game at halftime.

83' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 5, Poland 0

And just in case it wasn't clear...

Sweden clears Poland's attack. Sure enough! He rushes forward! Has a breakaway! Shot's knocked away! Gets it back and puts it back in for goal number six! Four scores in the last twenty minutes as Sweden's just putting on a clinic now.
Poland really should have dropped that whole offensive urgency thing after number three. It's giving Sweden too many chances and the best Poland can manage is a consolation goal. Credit him for not giving up but... well, seriously, give up already.

87' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 6, Poland 0

Poland's practically handing Sweden these opportunities, so Sweden continues to try for them. Poland stops the last couple and time mercifully expires on this game. Poland still doesn't know what hit him as he wanders off.

Day 5- Stuttgart

Match 14

Group G

SWEDEN 6:0
FT
POLAND
19'
59'
73'
74'
83'
87'

Larsson
Larsson
Svensson
Ibrahimovic
Larsson
Ibrahimovic

Referee
CMR

 

 

Taiwan's backstage with Sweden. Wish her luck.

Congratulations on the win, Sweden. Although wasn't that a bit of overkill at the end there?
Hm?
Were all those goals really necessary?
Maybe.
In light of that, what were you more impressed with? Your offense or your defense? A clean sheet against Poland isn't easy.
Defense.
I bet. Poland really fought hard offensively. Did you feel threatened much at goal or were you generally comfortable the whole way?
Yes.
That wasn't a yes/no question.
Hm.
Uh... well, anyway, good win today. Just please go easy on Liechtenstein, okay?
Mmm hmm.

Australia and Cuba wrap things up.

Oh God, that's right. Liechtenstein has to play him next. Now who's winning 10-0?
No kidding. And the sad thing is that Poland didn't play all that badly until he panicked at the end. This was anyone's match for the first hour.
Yep, and even if the group's probably out of reach, Poland still shouldn't have much trouble advancing to the knockout stage. Not with Iceland and Liechtenstein ahead of him.
Right-o. But for now, he's at the bottom of the group table. Let's take a look:

 

  Group A Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Russia 1 1 0 0 4 1 3 3
  Germany 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3
  Hungary 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0
 

Greece

1 0 0 1 1 4 -3 0
  Group B Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Canada 1 1 0 0 3 1 2 3
  Holland 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
  Belgium 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1
 

Japan

1 0 0 1 1 3 -2 0
  Group C Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Norway 1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
  England 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
  Austria 1 0 1 0 2 2 0 1
 

Korea

1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0
  Group D Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Spain 1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
 

Turkey

1 1 0 0 4 2 2 3
  Latvia 1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0
  Lithuania 1 0 0 1 2 4 -2 0
  Group E Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
 

Denmark

1 1 0 0 7 3 4 3
  France 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 3
  Hong Kong 1 0 0 1 3 7 -4 0
  Finland 1 0 0 1 0 4 -4 0
  Group F Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Egypt 1 1 0 0 5 2 3 3
  Italy 1 0 1 0 4 4 0 1
 

Switzerland

1 0 1 0 4 4 0 1
  Estonia 1 0 0 1 2 5 -3 0
  Group G Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  Sweden 1 1 0 0 6 0 6 3
  Iceland 1 1 0 0 2 1 1 3
  Liechtenstein 1 0 0 1 1 2 -1 0
 

Poland

1 0 0 1 0 6 -6 0
  Group H Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
  America 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
 

Ukraine

0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  Belarus 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
  China 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

That's right: thanks to goal differential, Liechtenstein's not in last place!

That just about wraps it up for us today. And tomorrow, we'll wrap up the openers as the last four countries in action takes the field. It'll be Belarus vs. China and an intriguing tilt between more World Cup teams as America and Ukraine hash it out.
We'll also see the hosts back in action as they take on Greece in the nightcap. Germany can all but lock up a trip to the second round with a win.
Until then, this is Australia and Cuba signing off! G'nite!

The England/Liechtenstein thing stems from two unrelated media. The first is from the webcomic, where England notes that Liechtenstein has the same national anthem as him (different words and language, of course). Thankfully for him, he wins, but gains a healthy respect for Liechtenstein's effort in the process.

The second is an English author's comedic recounting of Liechtenstein's qualifying campaign for the 2002 World Cup. Despite her losing every match without scoring a goal, it's practically a love letter.

To Be Continued!

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