After his draw against Austria, England had to face his media back home. His
country is crazy about football and expects nothing but the best performance in
the Hetalia World Cup. A mere tie was not enough for them, and they let him have
it. Days later, England needed a place to hide. Thankfully, he found it in
Frankfurt, in the midst of what was bound to be one of the calmer crowds in the
tournament.
The players on the field were still warming up, and England took comfort in
watching them. Especially when one of their practice passes went way off the
mark and struck Iceland in the back of the head.
 |
Sorry... I'll try to be more careful. |
After a lengthy glare, Iceland goes back to his routine. So does
Liechtenstein, concentrating on every little technique like basic
passes and chesting the ball. It took every ounce of effort for her
to look even remotely capable of playing this game.
It made England feel so much better about his problems.
After playing her in a pair of Euro qualifiers, England found that watching
Liechtenstein play cured all his woes. It wasn't schadenfreude either, at least
not completely. She tried really hard and kept fighting no matter how many times
she lost or how badly. Whenever he felt like giving up on his bloodthirsty
countrymen and phoning in the rest of a tournament, one of Liechtenstein's
matches set him right.
But he noticed that he wasn't the only country in the stadium. It wasn't
Switzerland; he had a match that evening. No, England doubted this guy was
earnestly interested in watching two of the worst countries in the tournament
compete.
 |
Holland, what the hell are you doing
here? |
 |
Hm? Scouting. |
 |
Scouting?! Why are you scouting
Liechtenstein and Iceland? |
 |
I 'unno. In case I have to play one
of them. |
 |
They're not in your group! You don't
have to play them. |
 |
What about the knockout stage? |
 |
Let's pretend for a moment that
either of them were good enough to make the knockout
stage. They're in group G. You're in group B. The way
the tournament's set up, you wouldn't see them until the
semi-finals! |
 |
It... it could happen. |
 |
It can't happen, you bloody pervert!
This is what happens when you spend too much time under
Spain's rule. |
 |
England! Holland! Hello! |
England shushes himself when he sees Liechtenstein running up to
them, holding a ball. She smiles at both of them.
 |
Thank you for coming to my match. I
was worried when I found out Brother has to play in
Berlin today and can't be here. I'll try hard and won't
disappoint you! |
 |
*smiles a little* Good luck. |
 |
*under his breath* Pedo. |
 |
Did you say something, England? |
 |
No! Do your best and you'll be fine! |
 |
I hope so. Iceland's not very strong
either. I might have a chance! |
 |
That's the spirit! |
 |
Well, here goes nothing! |
She resumes her practice, diving after a ball, missing it
completely and faceplanting. Holland and England both cringe.
 |
Almost! You'll get it next time! |
Liechtenstein gets up, dusts herself off, smiles at England and
Holland and goes back to practice. England sighs contentedly.
 |
You were saying? |
 |
Uh... er... |
|
|
England sighs and shrugs. |
 |
Well, if you insist on being here,
let me buy you a pint. |
 |
Sounds good. |
They head to the refreshments stand together for some pre-match
booze.
Day 5
Liechtenstein vs. Iceland - Sweden vs. Poland
Italy vs. Switzerland
Back to the studio and our hosts Australia and Cuba.
 |
G'day everybody! Remember yesterday
when Cuba wouldn't let me call it a great set of games?
He's not stopping me today! |
 |
No, sir. We've got three doozies
ahead of you as we finish off Group F with
Italy-Switzerland and run through Group G, highlighted
by Sweden vs. Poland. All four of these guys were in the
2006 FIFA World Cup, three of them made the knockout
stages and one of them won the damn thing. |
 |
Even our first match of the day has
something to offer. |
 |
In a way. Neither Liechtenstein nor
Iceland are expected to pose a threat. In most groups,
they'd be dead meat. Neither has qualified for the
finals of either Euro or the World Cup. But thanks to the
luck of the draw, they get to play each other. |
 |
Iceland still has to be called the
favorite here. He's surprised teams before and even gave
Germany a test for the Euro qualifier a few years ago.
Not only has Liechtenstein never qualified for Euro or
the World Cup, she's only won a total of five qualifier
games. And she's played in 80. |
 |
Of course, one of those five wins
came against Iceland. She beat him 3-0. |
 |
Taiwan's in Frankfurt with Iceland.
Let's see what he has to say about that. |
Iceland is in Frankfurt with Taiwan. You probably knew that already.
 |
Iceland, this is something of a lucky
draw for you opening up against Liechtenstein. |
 |
I guess. I'll try to make the most
out of the opportunity. |
 |
You have lost to her once before in
Euro qualifying. Is there something you could learn from
that? |
 |
She can't be underestimated, but she
can't beat a smart strategy and good tactics. |
 |
What is your smart strategy? |
 |
Defense. She's probably excited,
thinking she has a winnable match. I'll show her
otherwise. |
 |
Can't wait to see it. Good luck
today! |
|
Day
5- Frankfurt |
Match 12 |
Group G |
 |
LIECHTENSTEIN |
vs. |
ICELAND |
 |
Little Liechtenstein on one side, little Iceland on another and little
Seychelles as match official. It would be adorable if it wasn't a sanctioned
World Cup match. Aw, hell, it's adorable anyway.
It takes a few minutes for either side to establish themselves as holding the
ball, since neither of them are particularly good at holding the ball. In time,
the primary aggressor is established- Liechtenstein.
 |
Early on, it looks like
Liechtenstein's taking the initiative first. Iceland
holing back on defense. |
 |
No surprise there. Iceland tends to
take a lot of inspiration from the way Norway plays. Sit
back and wait for an opportunity. |
 |
Yeah, but Liechtenstein's not taking
a cue from her brother. She's gunning for it early. Into
the box! Shot! Easy save for Iceland. |
Despite Iceland focusing almost entirely on defense, Liechtenstein does get a
couple weak shots in, but nothing seems to trouble him for a while. His
inexperience does create a few gaps, but she doesn't see them in time.
After ten minutes or so, Iceland does look downfield a little bit, mostly
through quick passes that catch Liechtenstein off guard. Still, he isn't able to
get very far either. The moment Liechtenstein gets the ball, he rushes back on
defense.
 |
Liechtenstein carefully gets it down
the side. Gonna try a cross here. Header! Oh, way over
the bar! |
 |
Heh heh. A bit off the mark there.
That almost cleared the net between the pitch and the
stands. |
 |
That's worth a point in
Australian football! |
She continues on, undeterred. Iceland's still holed up on defense, giving her
plenty of time with the ball, but not very many scoring opportunities.
 |
Let's see where she's going with it
now. Back to the sideline for another cross. Someone's
in position to head it! It's on target! GOAL!
Liechtenstein scores first! |
 |
Just a sound goal right there. She
got in position for a cross, got in front of the
defender and banged it home right past the keeper's
arms. Hard work pays off and tells Iceland he can't be
hanging back all game. |

17' - GOAL (LIE) - Liechtenstein 1, Iceland 0
Liechtenstein doesn't let up. Iceland remains conservative, but his stout
defense is plenty to hold off her so-so attacking ability.
It takes several minutes for Iceland to explore forward. He crosses one into
the box, but Liechtenstein heads it away... out of bounds for a corner kick, but
it's still a stop.
Iceland continues to play back... most of the time.
 |
Iceland holding it, looking around
for options... charges forward! Gets past two defenders
and takes a long shot from the edge of the box! Knocked
away by the keeper. |
 |
First time Liechtenstein's been
troubled at goal all day and it almost went in. |
They continue battling at midfield. Liechtenstein accidentally trips up
Iceland at midfield. Seychelles holds up a yellow card.
 |
Gonna have to book you for that,
Liechtenstein. Try to be more careful. |
 |
Yes, ma'am. I know I should
apologize, but Brother told me not to. |
A good through ball gives Iceland another chance, but the shot isn't very
good. Actually, Iceland's offense is very quietly waking up.
 |
Liechtenstein clears that offensive
attack. Passes it up, intercepted by Iceland! Long shot
from the box is just knocked away! |
 |
It's a good thing for Liechtenstein
that Iceland's been playing back so much. In the times
that he has looked for a shot, she's just barely been
able to handle it. |
Still, neither side is all that strong on offense and nobody scores.
Liechtenstein keeps trying.
 |
Oh, here's something for
Liechtenstein! She crosses it in! There's a header! It's
by the keeper and off the post! Iceland clears it. |
 |
So close there. She almost made it
2-0 before halftime. Way Iceland's been playing this,
that would have been hard to recover from. |
Both sides search a bit in the closing minutes, but halftime arrives.
 |
That's the end of the first half and
Liechtenstein is holding onto a perilous 1-0 lead. |
 |
Gotta hand it to her, she's playing
it the right away. She's lucky to have an opponent
remotely close to her skill level and she's trying to
take advantage of that and get three points. Iceland,
meanwhile, is holing up and playing for a draw the way
he usually does against stronger opponents. |
 |
Help her if he starts to push on
offense. |
 |
Yeah. Down one goal, he's got to
score whether he's playing for one point or three. So
look for him to be a bit more aggressive in the second
half. Even if she has a clean sheet so far, she
struggled on defense in the first half, so this one's
not over yet. |
 |
Definitely not. We'll be back with
the second half! |
Liechtenstein takes a moment to focus herself.
 |
All right, Brother. One more half. I
can still do this... |
|
|
She turns to her "friends" in the stands for support,
which may not be a good idea. |
 |
Right, England? |
 |
*drunk* Look, you tulip abuser, I'm
not the one here to ogle the cute girl in the gym
shorts... |
 |
*equally drunk* Really? Let me ask
the ref. You've had a few incidents with Seychelles,
right? |
 |
Just to keep her away from France! |
 |
Just admit there's nothing wrong with
it! If my ships got lost on the way to Asia, I'd conquer
Seychelles too. |
 |
Um, sirs? |
|
|
Seychelles has been hearing this
too. She's pissed. |
 |
You know, as match official, I can
have them kicked out. |
 |
No, that's all right. |
 |
At least my gallery is sober. |
 |
If I had anything to drink at this
match, I'd fall asleep. Those two are the only ones
making this amusing. |
 |
Sorry, I promise to do better. |
When he gets the ball to start the second half, Iceland catches Liechtenstein
off guard and charges down the pitch. So fast, in fact, that he draws an offside
flag.
As the next several minutes go by, it's clear that Iceland has changed course
and is concentrating on scoring. Liechtenstein's defense is increasingly
stretched as she races back to cover goal.

Surprisingly, she doesn't give up on offense.
 |
Here comes Liechtenstein now! Into
the box. The shot! Easy save by Iceland as the keeper
catches it. |
 |
Launches it downfield quickly to try
a counter-attack! Fires it into the box! Header is over
the bar! Quick exchanges all around. |
For a long time, it's back and forth between the two sides.
 |
Iceland into the box, but
Liechtenstein clears that one and sends it back upfield. |
 |
Nope, Iceland wins the fifty-fifty
and quickly sends it forward. He's got a striker there!
No offside flag, it's a breakaway! Shoots! SCORES!
|
 |
Wow! Iceland sees a sudden
opportunity and makes the most of it! We're all square! |

61' - GOAL (ISL) - Liechtenstein 1, Iceland 1
Over the next span, it's clear that both sides are very used to playing for
draws. As soon as one shows any trace of aggression, the other quickly holes up
on defense.
 |
Liechtenstein kicking it around now,
gets a cross! The header! Punched out of the box by
Iceland's keeper. She gets it back but she's taken out.
Foul called on Iceland and here's a free kick. |
 |
She's very close to the box, so it'll
be interesting to see what she tries here. Iceland's
building up a wall in front of his goal. |
 |
*calling out teasingly* Bend it like Beckham! |
 |
Wow, you are an idiot. |
 |
I'll deal with you on the pitch,
Norway! |
 |
Right, like you dealt with Austria. |
 |
Shut up, you two. I got enough of
that from my sister. Liechtenstein's shooting. |
She tries to curl it around the wall... except she doesn't quite know how to
do that the way England can. The shot sails wide of the wall, the goal, and the
net protecting the fans. Holland laughs at her.
Iceland returns the favor a bit later with a header that sails way wide.
Later, Liechtenstein draws a corner kick.
 |
Liechtenstein sets up the corner!
It's away! Towards the back of the box! |
 |
...and past the back of the box,
going all the way to the other end untouched. Throw-in
Iceland. Maybe not quite so much on that one next time. |
Iceland takes the ensuing possession downfield.
 |
Iceland down the middle, looking for
something... there it is! Into the box and fires! Oh,
the defender clears it, but it trickles out for a
corner. |
|
|
Iceland glares at Seychelles, but
doesn't say anything. Cuba picks up on this. |
 |
He seems unhappy about something. |
 |
Oh, I see! Seychelles missed a
handball! Liechtenstein put her arm up to block that
shot! That should be a red card! |
 |
Maybe Iceland oughtta open his mouth
and say something once in awhile. |
 |
Wow, that was awful. How did
Seychelles miss an obvious handball like that? |
 |
Remember, she's partially French. |
There. France didn't give me much room to reference it last time, but
there's your
Hand of Henry joke. Seriously though, Liechtenstein totally blocked that
with her arm and the ref missed it. It wasn't iffy like the one Egypt scored
with.
 |
Either way, it is a corner for
Iceland. He takes a second to collect himself and fires.
Curls out to the far end. There's a header- GOAL!
Handball or not, Iceland drives it home to take the
lead! |
 |
Now that's how you channel your
frustration! That blown call may have been extra
motivation to make the most of this corner. Either way,
Iceland has stormed back! |

76' - GOAL (ISL) - Iceland 2, Liechtenstein 1
Liechtenstein is disappointed, but not deterred. She drives down right away
and forces Iceland to make a great diving save to keep his lead. Iceland quickly
gets back on defense while Liechtenstein presses forward once again in a more
urgent rehash of the beginning of the game.
 |
Only eight minutes left for
Liechtenstein to reclaim points here. |
 |
She's driving hard now. She knows
this is her only realistic chance for points in the
tournament. |
 |
Tries a long ball from midfield,
hoping to surprise Iceland. And does! She's clear for a
shot! GOAL! She's tied it back up!! |
 |
Nope, no she didn't. |
 |
Offside! No goal! |
 |
Oh, the flag was up! Let's see the
replay. |
 |
Seychelles has been quick to throw up
the offside flag today, but it looks like she got it
right this time. Liechtenstein got a little too far
ahead of Iceland's defense, so the goal doesn't count.
That was a good call. |
Liechtenstein's elation turns to disappointment, which lingers for a little
too long. Iceland takes the opportunity to press forward a bit and keep the ball
on her side of the pitch to whittle down the clock, although he doesn't take
many shots. This works until the final minute.
 |
Iceland passes it up, intercepted!
Liechtenstein gets it and charges forward! This could be
her last chance and she knows it! Up to her midfielders,
passes forward, she gets it into the box! Iceland
pressures on defense, but she gets off a shot! No, rolls
easily into the waiting arms of the keeper. |
 |
Look like it caught him off guard for
a second, but Iceland got back on defense in time to
pressure her into a bad shot. |
 |
And that is going to be the end of
it. The whistle blows and Iceland comes from behind to
win 2-1. |
Iceland doesn't react much, but sneaks in a fist pump. He looks up at Norway,
who silently nods in approval. Liechtenstein is saddened by the loss and turns
to Holland and England. England stands up and applauds her. She smiles a little
as she heads for the tunnel.
|
Day 5-
Frankfurt |
Match 12 |
Group G |
 |
LIECHTENSTEIN |
1:2
FT |
ICELAND |
 |
|
17' |
Frick |
Referee
SEY |
Sigurdsson
Gudjonsson |
61'
76' |
Taiwan tries to perk up Liechtenstein by subjecting her to an interview.
 |
A tough loss, Liechtenstein, but at
least you were in it the whole time. |
 |
I suppose. I did my best and I had
the lead for a long time. But it's very disappointing to
be so close and still lose. |
 |
Were you surprised by Iceland's
change in tactics in the second half? |
 |
A little. I thought I had been doing
very well until he started playing more aggressively. I
just couldn't keep up. |
 |
And now you have Sweden and Poland in
your next two matches. That's going to be difficult. |
 |
Yes. That's why I tried so hard to
win today. I don't think I have as much of a chance in
my next two games. |
 |
It's certainly a tall task. On a
lighter note, Switzerland's up next. What's your
prediction? |
 |
Brother will defeat Italy 10-0. |
 |
Well, I'll go place my bet now.
Thanks, Liechtenstein. Back to you, Australia. |
 |
Thanks, Taiwan. Definitely a
disappointing result for Liechtenstein. |
 |
Yeah, she's not making much money
gambling on Switzerland beating Italy 10-0. Has
Switzerland even scored 10 in a whole tournament before? |
 |
I was talking about her match. |
 |
Oh, yeah yeah, she's a sitting duck
against Sweden and Poland. In fact, Iceland probably is
too. He got three points out of it, but it wasn't all
that impressive. Maybe that's why I want to talk about
this next game. |
 |
My first thought about her prediction
was that not giving up any goals would pretty realistic
for brother.
But not against Italy. |
 |
No, that little idiot may be clueless
in everything else in life, but he has a gift
for this game. Italy has won the World Cup four times,
including the most recent one in 2006. |
 |
But Switzerland is a very sound
defensive team that will be waiting eagerly for Italy to
screw up. This should be a good match. Let's send it to
Berlin for kickoff. |
|
Day
5- Berlin |
Match 13 |
Group F |
 |
ITALY |
vs. |
SWITZERLAND |
 |
In lieu of traditional warm-up drills, Italy is bouncing the ball on his head repeatedly.
 |
Eh... can we start now? Warming up's
no fun. I wanna play with somebody! |
Switzerland runs out of the tunnel urgently, already looking a bit winded.
 |
About time. Where were you? |
 |
*defensive* Nowhere! I wasn't
doing anything! Just... planning. |
 |
Right... so how did she look?
They just flashed her score up on the board. |
|
|
Switzerland grumbles. Busted. |
 |
Let's just do this already. |
Thailand gets the two together and has a brief chat, although Italy's
distracted by an amusing sign in the stands. Switzerland grows more agitated but
Thailand finishes up and puts the ball at midfield to begin play. Italy kicks it
off and just starts passing around randomly. Switzerland can barely keep up.
 |
Not a lot of direction early on from
Italy. Switzerland holding on defense, but can't get
close to the ball. |
 |
Passing it around can be risky.
Worked okay for Spain, but Switzerland is far more
disciplined than Latvia was. It'll be hard to throw him
off. |
 |
There's a kick into the box! Italy's
got an open shot! Switzerland just barely got a piece of
it! It's a corner kick. |
Switzerland isn't completely helpless, mind you. When he gets a turnover, he
quickly charges forward for a counter. Only Italy's there too and saves a shot
with ease.
For the most part, though, Italy is bouncing around, barely considering
Switzerland's position. Both his offense and defense seem to ignore Switzerland
and focuses solely on the ball.
 |
Italy down the sides, under heavy
pressure. Switzerland is not letting him get a cross
off. |
 |
No... tight, tight defense. Ball
trickles away and Italy fires it up into the box. More
clearance than cross. |
 |
Switzerland heads it, but it goes
backwards, off the side of Italy's head, IN! GOAL!
|
 |
What the hell? Both sides just trying
to get rid of the ball and it ricochets off Italy's
hair curl and finds the corner of the net. Unbelievable. |

9' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 1, Switzerland 0
When Switzerland gets the ball, he slows things down and tries to establish
some sanity... or at least wait for Italy to create an opening. Italy has no
such intentions, and continues to play with no awareness of anything but the
ball and his own team.
 |
Italy trying for another cross, again
under pressure. And again he just kicks it in blindly! |
 |
Switzerland's ready for it and clears
it away. |
 |
Right back to Italy, who sends it
back into the box. Has a man! Hard shot! Great save by
Switzerland! |
Finally, Switzerland is able to slow things down and set up an offense.
 |
Switzerland has two in the box
waiting for cross. It's away towards the back. There's a
shot! Punched straight up into the air. Comes back down
for an easy header into...! |
 |
Offside! |
 |
Nope, guess again. Linesman's flag
was up and the goal's called back. Italy's defenders
were napping and Switzerland ended up behind them. |
 |
What just happened? |
 |
Are you kidding me? |
Italy continues to keep possession, although whether he has control is
debatable.
 |
Ball's at midfield and Italy sends a
long, long ball into the box! He's got a striker there
and onside who collects it and... |
 |
...watches it bounce in front of him. |
 |
Another attacker slides in and kicks
it home! GOAL! Italy does it again and it's 2-0! |

23' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 2, Switzerland 0
Italy's not finished yet.
 |
Italy rushes past the defenders, he's
got a fast break! Shot is knocked away! |
 |
Gets the rebound and fires again! Off
the defender! Switzerland cleans it up. |
And a few minutes later...
 |
Italy along the edge of the box.
Passes to center, off the striker's foot and IN! 3-0! |
 |
Did that striker even see that
coming? I don't even think he kicked it. It just bounced
off his foot and went in! I don't think there's any
logic to what he's doing and he's all but put
this one away in the first half. |
29' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 3, Switzerland 0
Italy is dancing around happily and the crowd loves it. They're cheering like
mad for him. It takes all of Switzerland's self-control not to punch him in the
face. He knows he has to do something.
So he gets aggressive. Unfortunately, Italy anticipates his first two
offensives and clears them easily and with nothing but a smile. It just pisses
Switzerland off more.
 |
Here comes Switzerland again... nope,
Italy's defense squeezes him out. |
 |
Wait, no! The ball comes loose!
Switzerland gets a shot off! Keeper knocked it away. |
 |
Who gets the rebound though?
Switzerland dives in! Header goes off the keeper's
mitt... GOAL! Switzerland on the board with the second
chance. |
 |
Italy's making it look easy, but
Switzerland really had to work for that goal. Either
way, the gap's back down to two. |

32' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 1
Switzerland does not react. He's pissed and ready to let off some
frustrations now.
 |
Switzerland working hard on offense.
Passes into the box is gathered up and Italy clears
it... |
 |
...clears it right back to
Switzerland! Long shot! Italy tips it over the bar!
Close play! |
 |
Switzerland is peppering the box now.
Italy's defense is starting to show some holes. |
Switzerland continues to persist on offense and finds several chances against
an Italy defense that may or may not know what it's doing.
Although Italy still is having a blast on offense.
 |
Italy has an opening! Into the box!
What'll he do with it?! |
 |
...he's going to kick it straight at
the keeper for an easy save. |
 |
Um, yeah. |
Switzerland dominates possession in the latter stages of the second half,
partially because Italy has lost interest in dominating possession.
Switzerland's intensity has rubbed off a little bit, as an exchange of fouls
leads to a warning from the referee and a booking for Switzerland.
 |
Things are really heating up in the
final minutes of the first half. Italy leads 3-1 but
Switzerland is really pouring it on. |
 |
Rushing forward now, Switzerland gets
an open shot! Takes it! Knocked away. |
 |
But Italy forgets to clear it!
Switzerland collects! Fires! SCORES! Back to a one goal
game as Italy shows a major lapse on defense! |
 |
Yep, a little too care-free that
time. Switzerland is far too stubborn to go into the
locker room trailing that much. Suddenly, it's a
ballgame again. |
43' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 2
That takes us to halftime. Despite Switzerland catching up, Italy jogs off
happily. Thus, Switzerland is still pissed. Probably not the best time for him
to run into Vietnam.
 |
Things started out looking pretty
bad, but you seemed to have found some rhythm late in
the half. How did you turn things around? |
 |
That mug of his pissed me off, that's
how I turned it around! I don't care about winning this
game anymore. I just want to wipe that damn smirk off
his face. |
 |
Something tells me that intensity
continues in the second half. |
 |
Damn right. I just hope he notices
that I'm kicking his ass. |
 |
Great, uh... I think I'll leave it at
that. Guys? |
 |
This is why nobody messes with
Switzerland. |
 |
Quite a turnaround. Down 3-0 at one
point and Switzerland's turned it on and brought it to
within one. How does Italy respond? |
 |
You're asking me? I don't know even
know if Italy will. He's just been doing his thing and
kinda ran out of karma for a bit. He'll need to regain
the momentum somehow. |
 |
He's getting a test now, that's for
sure. Let's get going with the second half! |
Both sides come out energized in the second half, including Italy moving the
ball well once more. Switzerland continues to try to advance the ball, but runs
into Italy every time, either playing defense well or standing still in just the
right spots. The reverse holds true as well, as Switzerland plays excellent,
disciplined defense that counters even Italy's most random attacks.
For the first fifteen minutes of the half, attacks are generally rare and
harmless.
 |
Switzerland searching... good pass
into the box. He chests it, turns and fires! Off the
crossbar!! |
 |
Italy's right there and skies it back
downfield before Switzerland could do anything else with
it. |
 |
Italy wasting no time setting up his
own offense. Can the Swiss get back? |
 |
Yaaaah!! |
 |
Good hustle! Switzerland's back on D
and closes the door. |
Both sides start to get some very good opportunities, and make very good
saves to counter the other sides... among other things.
 |
Italy presses forward, gets past the
defense! Has a breakaway, he... stops? Kicks it back out
and Switzerland's there to recover. |
 |
Either he's a complete idiot or
there's a method there. His angle of approach wasn't
great there. Must have seen that and wanted to try
something else. |
 |
Switzerland at midfield now, looking,
looking... Italy charges in! Takes him out with a
dangerous slide. |
 |
Whistle blows and Thailand's got a
yellow card for him. |
Italy smiles vapidly at Thailand. Switzerland just wants to put the ball back
in play.
Switzerland's increasing determination to equalize does put his defense at
risk, however. Good use of the offside trap minimizes that, but doesn't
eliminate Italy's offense. He gets several good shots and wears down
Switzerland's defense.
 |
Italy under some pressure on the
side. He gets the cross off anyway! |
 |
He's good at that. Now where's it
going? |
 |
Has a man! The header! Over the bar! |
 |
Give him this- he's not cowering on
defense. He wants to score again. |
Switzerland's doing similar things on offense and tries to step it up with
twenty minutes left in the game.
 |
Switzerland really pushing men
forward now. Passing around. Italy's not letting him
into the box! |
 |
Oh, there's a cross! Gets enough
space and lets it fly! |
 |
There's a header!! Off the keeper!
The post! IN!! Lucky bounce but Switzerland doesn't
care! It's 3-3!! |
 |
Unbelievable! Ball bounces Italy's
way for most of the first half, but Switzerland finally
catches some luck to erase a three goal deficit! That
took some fortitude. |

72' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 3, Switzerland 3
 |
And I'm not done yet. Get ready to
surrender, pasta brain! |
 |
Ehhh? We can surrender in football? |
Switzerland sulks: Italy's cluelessness even prevents proper taunting.
Switzerland is not going to be satisfied with a draw. He charges forward
again and tests Italy's defense. It passes and Italy counterattacks.
 |
Italy down the field in a hurry! Past
defenders! He's got a breakaway! Fires! Oh, just knocked
away! |
 |
Nobody's going to be happy with just
one point tonight. Good to hear. |
Indeed. Both sides continue to pour it on offensively. Switzerland seems to
be better at midfield during this span, as he gets balls into position quite
often. But...
 |
Another Swiss attack gobbled up.
Italy's thinking offense, but his defense has been
preventing Switzerland from any organized attack. |
 |
A disorganized attack would probably
work fine, but since when has Switzerland ever been
disorganized? |
Back on offense, Italy heads down the right side quickly.
 |
Down the side of the box, what's
Italy looking for here? Gets a low, weak cross off...
there's an open man! Italy fires! SCORES!! Oh, Italy
regains the lead! |
 |
Caramba! Just a quick jab in there
finds the net! All that work Switzerland did and it's
for nothing! With just 6 minutes left, that should
decide it right there. Disappointment all around for
Switzerland. |

84' - GOAL (ITA) - Italy 4, Switzerland 3
Switzerland looks up at the scoreboard, dumbfounded. Italy walks by, smiling
at all the fans cheering for him. He waves deliriously.
When the game resumes, Italy's still not finished. He wins a corner kick.
 |
Corner kick for Italy. Not wasting
any time! There it goes! Goes to the front, no- back of
the post! Shot! Right at the keeper! |
 |
Good job by Switzerland to stick with
that one. Very deceptive, that one. |
Switzerland doesn't care. Almost out of frustration, his keeper launches it
to midfield.
 |
Switzerland hustling downfield.
Collects at the halfway line and just booms another one
into Italy's box. |
 |
So much for organized... |
 |
Fifty-fifty chance here... Italy wins
it! He turns and fires! GOAL!! Miracle shot from the top
of the box! We're square again! |
 |
No way! Switzerland does the
impossible! He somehow collects that long ball from
halfcourt and just drills it into the top of the net!
Just a miraculous goal! |

85' - GOAL (SUI) - Italy 4, Switzerland 4
Switzerland is seething now, hell bent on getting a result. Italy's mood
seems to have dampened a little bit, but both sides still keep fighting for
chances. Even with such little time left, it seems like either side could score.
Despite some harrowing bounces in front of Switzerland's goal, however, that
stands and the game ends in an incredible 4-4 draw.
Switzerland falls to his knees, sighs and nods, and rushes into the
locker room without another word. Italy lingers for a bit, still smiling and
vacant. He waves to the crowd a little more as he slowly shuffles under the
tunnel.
|
Day 5-
Berlin |
Match 13 |
Group F |
 |
ITALY |
4:4
FT |
SWITZERLAND |
 |
9'
23'
29'
84' |
Pirlo
Totti
Camoranesi
Gilardano |
Referee THA |
Frei
Frei
Vogel
Frei |
32'
43'
72'
85' |
After the match, Vietnam attempts to get something useful out of Italy.
 |
A rousing start to the match, Italy,
but it has to be disappointing blowing the lead twice
and settling for the draw. |
 |
That was fun! Who do I play next? |
 |
We'll get your next game in a bit,
but what did you do early on that Switzerland shut down? |
 |
I scored a lot of goals! Then I
couldn't score a lot of goals. Then Switzerland did. |
 |
Was Switzerland's use of the offside
trap in the late stages a factor? |
 |
The off-what? |
 |
...let's talk about your next match
against Egypt. He looked pretty good yesterday and he's
given you problems in the past. Any thoughts watching him
beat Estonia? |
 |
I didn't watch it. I was taking a
nap. |
 |
Do you even know what the final of
his match was? |
 |
Nope! |
 |
Do you even know what the final of
your match was? |
 |
Switzerland won, right? |
 |
*sighs* I think I'm done here. |
Australia and Cuba are shaking your heads.
 |
Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 FIFA
World Cup champion. |
 |
Hell of a match though. Switzerland
did a hell of a job coming back from three down against
someone that skilled, then equalized again in the final
minutes. If it were anybody but Switzerland, he'd be
happy with the draw here. |
 |
Best match of the tournament so far,
if you ask me. But that may be short-lived with
Sweden-Poland due up. |
 |
Oi, you're right about that. Here's
two more World Cup finalists in '06. Sweden is a strong,
disciplined player that's made the knockout stage in
each of his last two World Cups. |
 |
Yep, and while Poland's
under-performed in the last two tournaments,
give him credit for getting there. His trick seems to be
losing the first two matches, then kicking ass in the
third game when he's already out of it. |
 |
Like the way he beat a really hot
America team in Korea in 2002. |
 |
There is no such thing as a really
hot America team. But there is a really hot Taiwan and
she's with Poland in Stuttgart. |
 |
Aw, I'm charmed, Cuba, but you know
how I feel about communists. Anyway, Poland, your first
match will pretty much decide the winner in Group G.
What's the strategy? |
 |
Strategy? Since, like, when have I
needed a strategy to beat Sweden? I'm, like, always
fighting Sweden. |
 |
This isn't the 17th century. |
 |
Whatever! I'm totally cool against
Sweden. No prob. |
 |
Actually, in competitive matches,
he's beaten you six times and you've only beaten him
once. |
 |
Yep. World Cup '74, right here in
Stuttgart. Totally kicked his butt. |
 |
The final was 1-0. But glad to know
you're not behind on the times. Good luck! |
|
Day
5- Stuttgart |
Match 14 |
Group G |
 |
SWEDEN |
vs. |
POLAND |
 |
As promised, Poland doesn't seem to have a strategy. He moves up the field
carefully, making some very good passes in his advancement and getting the ball
towards Sweden's box early. Sweden's keeping things close to the cuff and plays
a tight defense. Poland tries, but can't figure out a way past it.
Still, he has the ball long enough to test Sweden and look for openings. He
just doesn't spot any. Sweden doesn't touch the ball much, but when he does he
marches down the field and creates a fast opportunity, although without enough
force to trouble Poland. Poland gets the ball back and resumes the hunt.
 |
Poland searching for something along
the side of the box. Tries to take it back out and...
he's taken down from behind! Foul called! Was that in
the box? |
 |
Nope, guess not. Just outside it,
according to Cameroon. That was close to a penalty
there. |
 |
Either way, it's a free kick for
Poland. Sweden sets up a wall. There's the kick! Past
the wall! Into the box! Defense gets a hold of it and
clears. Sweden not letting anything through early on. |
Still, against a team as skilled as Poland, hanging back can't work forever.
 |
Poland driving, passes into the box!
Forward again! Shot from the side! Knocked out of
bounds! That was a good look there. |
 |
Yep, Sweden is playing great defense,
but it's only a matter of time before Poland stumbles onto
a chance. |

With the ball, Sweden slows down his own possessions to space things out a
bit. Still not a whole lot of offense out of him yet. He seems to be biding his
time.
Not that it matters. Good scoring chances are few and far between for Poland.
Nothing seems to open up for him.
About fifteen minutes in, Sweden at least thinks about attacking.
 |
Down the line and there's a cross for
Sweden! Curling out to the top of the box! Sharp header
from long range! Oh, just off the keeper's fingertips!
Poland falls on top of it! |
 |
Wow, that was close. That header was
from 18 yards out and still came at him like a rocket.
|
Sweden gets the ball back.
 |
Sweden gets it back. Quick through
ball up the middle! He's got a breakaway! Shot! Knocked
away! Poland's defenders get back in time to clear it! |
One more time!
 |
Sweden looking down the left side
now. Good cross... fantastic cross! Striker's wide open
in the box! Collects it, shoots it- GOAL! Sweden strikes
first! How did he get that open?! |
 |
Maybe Poland thought he'd be called
offside, but he was actually behind the ball. That
crossed away from the net. Either way, fifteen minutes
of playing possum and Sweden just totally checkmates
Poland with that one. |

19' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 1, Poland 0
Poland continues to look for chances, but Sweden is really playing tight
defense. Worse yet, Sweden is now getting a rhythm on offense, getting several
good looks over the next few minutes. One thing's for sure, Poland's careful to
guard those crosses now.
 |
Poland with the ball again, looking
for a way into the box. Trying to get around Sweden and
passes back to the outside. Oi, he's trying a shot from
there! Long shot, but it's curling! Just wide! |
 |
Ooh, close though. Sweden's really
stopped Poland's offense, but if he can hit those long
shots like that, it might loosen things up. |
One thing that emerges is that as Sweden develops a stronger attack, all the
while remaining cold and calculated, Poland defends it quite well. Neither side
gets a shot in for the longest time, and the half dwindles down to the final
minutes of an epic defensive battle.
 |
Sweden concedes a corner kick here.
He's been a little more open to giving Poland corners
today. |
 |
Poland tries the short corner here.
Up a few feet and there's the cross! |
 |
It's at the edge of the box... close
enough! There's the shot! Curls! Keeper knocks it away
just to be safe. |
 |
Just to be safe is right. That looked
wide, but Poland's showing a knack for that long shot.
Way Sweden's been playing defense, that might be the
only chance at an equalizer. |
Sweden gets one really good shot in before halftime, but Poland combines a
good save and heads-up defense to take care of it. The half ends with Sweden up
1-0.
 |
Well, the last game had a flurry of
scoring. This one's more of a defensive battle, but it's
still a right good one. |
 |
Oh yeah. Sweden is playing a hell of
a game tonight. Top form both on defense and offense.
Gotta give it up to Poland too: after giving up the
goal, he's found a way to keep Sweden in check and
create chances out of thin air. |
 |
Think he can get back into this one? |
 |
Totally. He's not playing quite as
polished a game as Sweden, but he's finding a way to
keep up. All it takes it one. I'm looking forward to
this second half. |
 |
Right. Let's get back to the action! |
Once again, Poland emerges as the aggressor in the second half. Early on, he
gets a couple chances.
 |
Poland goes in! Nope, Sweden clears
it. Sends it back out, but Poland intercept! Crosses
back into the box! Long header! Just tipped away! |
Sweden doesn't seem to be bothered by Poland stepping up the attack, but
after Poland steals it back, Sweden commits a hard foul.
 |
That's a booking, Sweden! |
 |
Hm. |
 |
Like... ow, man. Watch the cleats. |
Sweden does get a few shots here and there, but Poland's defense is holding
well. Poland is slowly finding better angles and the shots are troubling the
keeper more and more.
 |
Poland looking outside the box and a
sliding tackle from Sweden! Foul called; this'll be a
free kick. |
 |
Good range for Poland. He's been
doing well from about this distance. A free kick should
be interesting. Might as well go for it all with this
one. |
 |
Sweden has his wall set up. Poland
eyeing things, rears back, and it's off! Over the wall
straight at goal! Oh, diving save! Can Poland get
anything get past this guy?! |
The back and forth continues until Sweden earns a corner kick.
 |
Interesting... Sweden hasn't had a
lot of corners today. That's one area where Poland
really has the advantage tonight. |
 |
Kicks up, but Poland's right on top
of it, heading it out of there. Passes forward, thinking
counter-attack? No! It's stolen! Sweden passes up into
the box! Open shot! GOAL! A quick interception gives
Sweden a 2-0 lead! |
 |
Oh wow, that came out of nowhere.
Poland's been hanging in there all match, but the way
Sweden's playing, two goals is a lot to ask for. Tough,
tough break. |

59' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 2, Poland 0
To make matters worse for Poland, Sweden starts to do a better job
controlling the possession and killing the clock. Poland's offense is stalled
simply because they can't get the ball! Worse still, Sweden does go on the
attack once he's done stalling.
 |
Lot of bouncing back and forth now
for Sweden. Only kinda thinking offense, but more
concerned with not letting Poland have it. |
 |
Still, he's in Poland territory.
Quick pass! Wow, Sweden forces his way through! It's a
breakaway! Shot deflected off the keeper and the defense
clears. |
 |
Jeez, he's good at that. One moment
it's quiet and the next, ball's flying to the net. |
Once there are only twenty minutes left, Poland starts to concentrate solely
on offense when he has the ball. He gets looks, but Sweden's goalkeeper always
comes through.
He's also left scrambling to get back on defense.
 |
Sweden moving down the pitch quickly!
Takes a shot! Knocked away by the keeper but Sweden gets
it back. |
 |
Wow, nice job by Poland to get back
on defense. Doesn't allow a follow-up shot. |
 |
Sweden takes it to the side of the
box. Thinking cross? No, he dribbles in! Stops! NOW it's
a cross! Header! GOAL!! |
 |
Man, Sweden with all sorts of mind
games there. He faked twice there before that cross.
Poland's just all sorts of confused and suddenly it's
becoming a rout! |
73' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 3, Poland 0
Cuba has no idea.
 |
Poland's attack goes nowhere and
Sweden up the middle quickly! Passes up! Through the
defense, wide open down the sidelines! There's the
cross! Header's knocked away! Still in along the goal
line. Sweden's there first! Shot and IN! Sweden follows
up with another goal! |
 |
Yikes. Poland not getting back on
defense quickly enough and Sweden's finishing all these
suckers. |

74' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 4, Poland 0
 |
Heh. Heh heh heh. Like... no big
whoop, you know? |
Yeah, Poland's pretty much falling apart now. His offense is thrown
completely out of whack, as he's called offside several times. This added to
the fact that Sweden is still playing incredible defense.
And yet, he still counter-attacks when opportune.
 |
Corner kick now. Sweden intent on
riding this out with more offense. |
 |
Hey, take what the opponent gives
you. And Poland's giving a lot. |
 |
It's a short corner to a man nearby.
There's the cross! To the center of the box! Header! Oh,
it's IN! Sweden is just not letting up! |
 |
Wow, to think this was such an even
game at halftime. |
83' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 5, Poland 0
And just in case it wasn't clear...
 |
Sweden clears Poland's attack. Sure
enough! He rushes forward! Has a breakaway! Shot's
knocked away! Gets it back and puts it back in for goal
number six! Four scores in the last twenty minutes as
Sweden's just putting on a clinic now. |
 |
Poland really should have dropped
that whole offensive urgency thing after number three.
It's giving Sweden too many chances and the best Poland
can manage is a consolation goal. Credit him for not
giving up but... well, seriously, give up already. |
87' - GOAL (SWE) - Sweden 6, Poland 0
Poland's practically handing Sweden these opportunities, so Sweden continues
to try for them. Poland stops the last couple and time mercifully expires on
this game. Poland still doesn't know what hit him as he wanders off.
|
Day 5-
Stuttgart |
Match 14 |
Group G |
 |
SWEDEN |
6:0
FT |
POLAND |
 |
19'
59'
73'
74'
83'
87' |
Larsson
Larsson
Svensson
Ibrahimovic
Larsson
Ibrahimovic |
Referee CMR |
|
|
Taiwan's backstage with Sweden. Wish her luck.
 |
Congratulations on the win, Sweden.
Although wasn't that a bit of overkill at the end there? |
 |
Hm? |
 |
Were all those goals really
necessary? |
 |
Maybe. |
 |
In light of that, what were you more
impressed with? Your offense or your defense? A clean
sheet against Poland isn't easy. |
 |
Defense. |
 |
I bet. Poland really fought hard
offensively. Did you feel threatened much at goal or
were you generally comfortable the whole way? |
 |
Yes. |
 |
That wasn't a yes/no question. |
 |
Hm. |
 |
Uh... well, anyway, good win today.
Just please go easy on Liechtenstein, okay? |
 |
Mmm hmm. |
Australia and Cuba wrap things up.
 |
Oh God, that's right. Liechtenstein
has to play him next. Now who's winning 10-0? |
 |
No kidding. And the sad thing is that
Poland didn't play all that badly until he panicked at
the end. This was anyone's match for the first hour. |
 |
Yep, and even if the group's probably
out of reach, Poland still shouldn't have much trouble
advancing to the knockout stage. Not with Iceland and
Liechtenstein ahead of him. |
 |
Right-o. But for now, he's at the
bottom of the group table. Let's take a look: |
| |
Group A |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Russia |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
3 |
| |
Germany |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
| |
Hungary |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
-1 |
0 |
| |
Greece |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
4 |
-3 |
0 |
|
| |
Group B |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Canada |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
3 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
| |
Holland |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Belgium |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Japan |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
-2 |
0 |
|
| |
Group C |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Norway |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
| |
England |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Austria |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
2 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Korea |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
-2 |
0 |
|
| |
Group D |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Spain |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
| |
Turkey |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
| |
Latvia |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
-2 |
0 |
| |
Lithuania |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
-2 |
0 |
|
| |
Group E |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Denmark |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
7 |
3 |
4 |
3 |
| |
France |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
0 |
4 |
3 |
| |
Hong Kong |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
3 |
7 |
-4 |
0 |
| |
Finland |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
-4 |
0 |
|
| |
Group F |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Egypt |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
5 |
2 |
3 |
3 |
| |
Italy |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
4 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Switzerland |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
4 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Estonia |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
5 |
-3 |
0 |
|
| |
Group G |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Sweden |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
6 |
3 |
| |
Iceland |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
| |
Liechtenstein |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
-1 |
0 |
| |
Poland |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
6 |
-6 |
0 |
|
| |
Group H |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
America |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
| |
Ukraine |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
| |
Belarus |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
| |
China |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
0 |
|
That's right: thanks to goal differential, Liechtenstein's not in last place!
 |
That just about wraps it up for us
today. And tomorrow,
we'll wrap up the openers as the last four countries in
action takes the field. It'll be Belarus vs. China and
an intriguing tilt between more World Cup teams as
America and Ukraine hash it out. |
 |
We'll also see the hosts back in
action as they take on Greece in the nightcap. Germany
can all but lock up a trip to the second round with a
win. |
 |
Until then, this is Australia and
Cuba signing off! G'nite! |
The England/Liechtenstein thing stems from two unrelated media. The first
is from the webcomic, where England notes that Liechtenstein has the same
national anthem as him (different words and language, of course). Thankfully for
him, he wins, but gains a healthy respect for Liechtenstein's effort in the
process.

The second is an English author's
comedic recounting of Liechtenstein's qualifying campaign for the 2002 World
Cup. Despite her losing every match without scoring a goal, it's practically a
love letter.
To Be Continued!
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|